# Voice recognition software **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 3, 2020, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-recognition-software/845905 "2020-01-03T22:24:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bizerta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@bizerta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bizerta)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2020, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-recognition-software/845905/1 "2020-01-03T22:24:20Z")
I called my credit card company (USAA). I knew my problem was not on their menu. When they started to list the options, I said, “OPERATOR”. The recording said, “OK, you want to talk to a customer service representative. The approximate wait time is twenty-five minutes”. I said, “YOU’VE GOT TO BE SH\*\*TING ME”. The recording said, “OK, would you like someone to call you back so you don’t have to wait on the phone?” It blew my mind. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2020, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-recognition-software/845905/2 "2020-01-04T00:33:19Z")
I’d be more impressed if the software asserted that it shitted you not. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2020, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-recognition-software/845905/3 "2020-01-04T00:55:05Z")
> [@bizerta](#): > > I called my credit card company (USAA). I knew my problem was not on their menu. When they started to list the options, I said, “OPERATOR”. The recording said, “OK, you want to talk to a customer service representative. The approximate wait time is twenty-five minutes”. I said, “YOU’VE GOT TO BE SH\*\*TING ME”. The recording said, “OK, would you like someone to call you back so you don’t have to wait on the phone?” > > It blew my mind. Would your mind be less blown if I told you that the software was programmed to say, “Would you like someone to call you…” anytime there was a detectable response to the wait message? Because that’s what happens. Try it sometime. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2020, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-recognition-software/845905/4 "2020-01-04T00:57:00Z")
Voice recognition engineers have been developing ways for the system to detect affective dimensions to vocalizations, such as sudden rising tone, etc.–things that typically indicate someone is pissed off or otherwise upset. So it’s not going off your actual words as it is detecting the way you speak. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2020, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-recognition-software/845905/5 "2020-01-04T03:41:58Z")
I want the companies I call to adopt the voice recognition software that the OP is describing. It’s not the one they’re using now, I can tell you that much… Please state the reason for this call. You may use phrases like _“Current Balance”_ or _“Question a Charge”_ or _“Report a Stolen Card”_ or _“Order Blank Checks”_ or… Order Blank Checks! You said _“Cancel My Account”_, is this correct? Please confirm by saying _“yes”_ or Noooo!!! No, no no!!! I believe you said _“Apply for a Loan”_. Please confirm by saying No, goddammit!! Order! Blank! Checks! You wish to _Take out a Murder Contract on your Kitten for Five Hundred Thousand Dollars_, is that correct? Please say _“yes”_ to confirm or No fucking hell no, jesus fucking christ A Contract has now been issued. A lien against your house and automobile for five hundred thousand has been levied. Thank you for doing business with FriendlyBank