# Vote for the Scariest Giant Catholic Thing! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 20, 2008, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344 "2008-02-20T02:16:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2008, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344/1 "2008-02-20T02:16:26Z")
I fully admit that I am not a member of the Roman Church. Nor even a practicing Christian. Only a humble aesthete – and aspiring scholar of the wide-ranging and fascinating variety of Human Belief Systems. But by golly, NOBODY can create cyclopean and terrifying horrors like dem Cathlicks. See my earlier (like, six years earlier, thread about Enormous Scary Statues). Personal favorites: In the New World, Detroit’s [National Shrine of the Little Flower](http://www.shrinechurch.com/tour/index.asp)…brainchild of the monstrously disgusting anti-Semite Fascist Father Charles Coughlin. (Click on “exterior” photos) In the Old, I’ve got to go for [El Valle de los Caidos](http://www.bluffton.edu/~sullivanm/spain/madrid/fallen/fallen.html) the personal burial ground of the monstrously disgusting anti-Semite Fascist Francisco Franco. Mind you! I AM NOT equating Roman Catholics with monstrously disgusting anti-Semite Fascists. Only that these two wackybirds created some goddamn dandy Terrifying Huge Things. Aesthetically speaking. Nominations for abominations designed and built by very nice people are more than welcome. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2008, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344/2 "2008-02-20T02:19:46Z")
For a moderator, you sure suck at links, dude. 🙂 [sub]Oh SURE, he edited them just in the nick of time. Fascist pig.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2008, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344/3 "2008-02-20T02:21:27Z")
No, I still fucked them up. Fix them for me, my old pal Dutch dude. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2008, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344/4 "2008-02-20T02:24:35Z")
Graggggh. If you ain’t got the power anymore (cue David Bowie), let **Frank** or **Rico** do it. I gotta get in once more whiskey and get to bed so’s I kin get young Banjo up at six for basketball practice. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2008, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344/5 "2008-02-20T02:26:18Z")
The Linkies do not work. But as noted The Valley of the Fallen is creepy as all get-out. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2008, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344/6 "2008-02-20T02:30:10Z")
My vote goes to the [mosaic of Jesus](http://www.beliefnet.com/imgs/lede/christ_basilica2.jpg) in the National Shrine in DC. He looks so fierce and unwelcoming (the position of his hands/arms looks to me like he’s barring the congregation from entering heaven) that when I used to attend service there, I’d purposely sit behind a pole or off to the side to be spared the sight of him. That picture doesn’t give you a sense of the proportion of the thing, either – Jesus is HUGE. You can make out his size a little better [here](http://blog.siena.org/uploaded_images/Vigil-for-LIfe-768568.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2008, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344/7 "2008-02-20T02:53:35Z")
[Big Joe](http://stringapearl.blogspot.com/2007/11/11-27-07-ring-his-bell.html) is a bell in a Catholic church in Cincinnati. It weighs 18 tons and has only rung once. When it did it was so loud it broke every window for blocks around. Since then - 112 years now - it just sits there, this huge useless thing. ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2008, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344/8 "2008-02-20T03:09:15Z")
I’m currently in New Mexico, and let me tell you, nothing says “scary Catholic” like Mexican Catholic. Unfortunately there’s not many giant things. Do they have to be giant? How about if my links work, do they have to be giant then? I was just at a cathedral here, and they had the absolute scariest Jesus on a Cross I’ve ever seen. Of course, I can find no pictures online of it. I’ll work on it. And then, of course, there are the [Penitentes](http://www.charleslummis.com/penitente.htm). I’m just waiting for the time I take a wrong turn and happen upon one o’ those rituals. Still, as weird as the Mexican Catholic thing is, I’d have to say that the very weirdest Catholic thing I’ve ever seen is [St. Joseph’s Oratory](http://www.saint-joseph.org/en_1041_index.asp) in Montreal, where they keep the heart of the guy who built it in a box that you can go visit. Heart-in-a-box. Yeah, I needed to see that. For the record, I was brought up Catholic, but I make no claims to any religion now. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2008, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344/9 "2008-02-20T03:20:29Z")
[QUOTE=Athena] Still, as weird as the Mexican Catholic thing is, I’d have to say that the very weirdest Catholic thing I’ve ever seen is [St. Joseph’s Oratory](http://www.saint-joseph.org/en_1041_index.asp) in Montreal, where they keep the heart of the guy who built it in a box that you can go visit. Heart-in-a-box. Yeah, I needed to see that. [/QUOTE] A heart!?! That’s the weirdest thing you can find? Back in the Middle Ages, a popular relic used to be Jesus’ prepuce. As proof of his divinity, Jesus used his loaves and fishes powers to make hundreds of copies of his foreskin. Even nowadays, I think some churches have saints’ wangs and such in the reliquary. I’m surprised the OP didn’t mention Christ the Redeemer. ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2008, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344/10 "2008-02-20T03:37:14Z")
[QUOTE=thelurkinghorror] A heart!?! That’s the weirdest thing you can find? Back in the Middle Ages, a popular relic used to be Jesus’ prepuce. As proof of his divinity, Jesus used his loaves and fishes powers to make hundreds of copies of his foreskin. Even nowadays, I think some churches have saints’ wangs and such in the reliquary. I’m surprised the OP didn’t mention Christ the Redeemer. [/QUOTE] I dunno, to me, the heart of someone who died in 1937 is just plain weird. It’s weirder than the various ancient bits and pieces of saints that you see in some churches. I mean, you stand there in front of this glass box with his heart in it, and then you go see photographs of the dude. Freaky. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2008, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344/11 "2008-02-20T03:40:04Z")
For more fun, you might enjoy [Jesus of the Week](http://jesusoftheweek.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2008, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344/12 "2008-02-20T03:47:16Z")
G. K. Chesterton? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2008, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344/13 "2008-02-20T05:05:22Z")
The catacombs of Palermo, maintained by Capuchin monks, might qualify in the old world category. [Link.](http://members.tripod.com/~Motomom/kim2.JPG) [Especially interesting is little Rosalia Lombardo.](http://members.tripod.com/~Motomom/child.jpg) She died in 1920 at the age of two, was embalmed and placed in an airtight glass casket, and put there. They call her the Sleeping Beauty. Puts Lenin to shame, if you ask me. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2008, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344/14 "2008-02-20T05:06:51Z")
[QUOTE=Ukulele Ike] Graggggh. If you ain’t got the power anymore (cue David Bowie), let **Frank** or **Rico** do it. I gotta get in once more whiskey and get to bed so’s I kin get young Banjo up at six for basketball practice. [/QUOTE] You need better whiskey-a couple shots of Tullamore Dew, and the links work perfectly. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2008, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344/15 "2008-02-20T05:14:18Z")
[QUOTE=Athena] I dunno, to me, the heart of someone who died in 1937 is just plain weird. It’s weirder than the various ancient bits and pieces of saints that you see in some churches. I mean, you stand there in front of this glass box with his heart in it, and then you go see photographs of the dude. Freaky. [/QUOTE] If that freaked you out, I’d be interested to see you react to a dead little girl put in a glass coffin almost ninety years ago, per my link. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2008, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344/16 "2008-02-20T11:20:06Z")
The two scariest giant Catholic things to me are: [One](http://usera.imagecave.com/webloafer/Blogs/article_fat_ted_feeding_tube.jpg11127175362708.jpg) [Two](http://www.torturamuseum.com/) While not “giant”, I still have to give [Santa Semana pilgrims](http://farm1.static.flickr.com/34/123655943_925e45cad6.jpg) honorable mention on the scary front. (If you’re from the U.S. and didn’t just know they were Spanish pilgrims it’d be really easy to get other ideas as to who/what they are.) ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2008, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344/17 "2008-02-20T11:43:54Z")
[QUOTE=Ukulele Ike] Personal favorites: In the New World, Detroit’s [National Shrine of the Little Flower](http://www.shrinechurch.com/tour/index.asp)…brainchild of the monstrously disgusting anti-Semite Fascist Father Charles Coughlin. (Click on “exterior” photos) [/QUOTE] Do you think maybe he was [compensating for something](http://www.shrinechurch.com/image/tour/27.jpg)? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2008, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344/18 "2008-02-20T11:48:01Z")
This one isn’t Catholic, but it’s giant, and scary… The giant _[I’m melting! Melting! statue of Jesus](http://www.josephschell.com/fest/archives/jesus-SolidRockChurch.jpg)_ at Solid Rock Church in Ohio. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2008, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344/19 "2008-02-20T15:43:05Z")
> [@yrs trly](#): > > Big Joe is a bell in a Catholic church in Cincinnati. It weighs 18 tons and has only rung once. When it did it was so loud it broke every window for blocks around. Since then - 112 years now - it just sits there, this huge useless thing. Big Joe rings. What it doesn’t do is _swing._ And it didn’t break any windows. Just started the steeple wobbling. Scary yes, but not scary enough. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2008, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344/20 "2008-02-20T17:39:41Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] This one isn’t Catholic, but it’s giant, and scary… The giant _[I’m melting! Melting! statue of Jesus](http://www.josephschell.com/fest/archives/jesus-SolidRockChurch.jpg)_ at Solid Rock Church in Ohio. [/QUOTE] I can’t open the link at work…is that the same as “Big Butter Jesus” or “Touchdown Jesus”? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vote-for-the-scariest-giant-catholic-thing/438344.md?page=2)