# Vs. Threads We Haven't Seen **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 25, 2003, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863 "2003-07-25T13:59:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863/1 "2003-07-25T13:59:36Z")
I’ve personally been waiting for a “Mark Burnett v. Schrodinger’s Cat” thread. (Actually, I’ve been trying to start one, but I’m just not clever enough to get it right.) It would involve Burnett constantly manipulating the outcome of the cat’s fate in order to maximize ratings. But if the cat was prepared… ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863/2 "2003-07-25T15:15:28Z")
John Doe vs Joe Bloggs Darth Vader vs Mary Poppins Lego vs Mechano ---
**Author:** ![Janx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Janx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Janx)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863/3 "2003-07-25T15:51:26Z")
intergalactic star ship (star wars) Vs. a Vogon constructor ship. Enterprise (Picards crew) Vs. Heart of gold. I especially want to see what happens when Trillion sits on Wesley’s lap and starts to mess with his control panel. Better yet, I can see Data asking Marvin what its like to have human emotions and Marvin saying "O god its just more dreadful then you can possibly imagine.” Data will insist, so Marvin will say “You really want to know” Data will say “Oh yes” then Marvin will say “Here, pull my finger” ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Norse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/big_norse/32/9954_2.png) [@Big\_Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Norse)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863/4 "2003-07-25T16:16:25Z")
**Kikkoman vs Pokeman** On one side you have a very old purveyor of an ancient sauce, on the other, a young bunch of animated creatures trained to fight. (a guy at work actually came up with this battle of the titans, and it had me in stitches all day) ---
**Author:** ![smam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@smam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smam)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863/5 "2003-07-25T16:35:23Z")
The Disney Club v’s A printer who once typeset ‘club sandwhich’ on a bar menu. Pete Best v’s Pete’s Dragon Tripitaka v’s the Arch-Bishop of Canterbury ---
**Author:** ![refusal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ac91a4/32.png) [@refusal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/refusal)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863/6 "2003-07-25T16:36:56Z")
Lassie vs. Skippy the Bush Kangaroo. The crew of Battle of the Planets vs. the Scoobies from Buffy. Rambo vs. Joseph Stalin. As for Vader vs. Poppins: she would constantly pressurise him to take his medicine with choruses of “A Spoonful of Sugar”, until she finally manages to pull his mask off, at which point he of course dies. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863/7 "2003-07-25T17:16:37Z")
**Fenway Park’s Green Monster vs. The Incredible Hulk** The battle of the big green things. **Dr. Christiaan Barnard vs. Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman** What Dr. Barnard lacked in leather-clad male companions, he made up for in groundbreaking transplant surgery. A close contest, this one. ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863/8 "2003-07-25T17:25:08Z")
[Curley vs. Halvsie](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=51807&highlight=halvsie). That’s the ultimate. ---
**Author:** ![Trigonal\_Planar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/0ea827/32.png) [@Trigonal\_Planar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trigonal_Planar)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863/9 "2003-07-25T18:07:16Z")
**McDonalds vs. Spongebob Squarepants** SB: Aaahh! Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! Someone stole your secret patty recipe!! Ahhh! Mr.K: Arrrr arr arr arrrr. Its the hamburglar! Quickly Spongebob, get him! Arr arr arr Hamburglar: Robble robble SB: Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! I got him! The secret patty recipe is safe! Mr. K: Arr arr arr. Good work Spongebob. Those McDonald’s boys are slick bunch. They’ll stop at nothing to get our secret patty recipe. And that big yellow guy is the worst. Don’t let his charmin’ smile fool you Spongebob! He’ll steals our recipe and takes our money! Arrrrr SB: Don’t worry Mr. Krabs. I’m ready for anything. I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready! ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863/10 "2003-07-25T18:20:49Z")
**Emperor Palpatine vs Dr. Evil** **Bugs Bunny vs Wrasslor (Dexter’s Lab)** Oh, I know who would win … I just wanna see how it goes down! 😉 **Jimmy Neutron vs MiniMe** **Hitler vs Saddam** Can you say “Celebrity Death Match”? ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863/11 "2003-07-25T18:30:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Big\_Norse \* > \*\ ***Kikkoman vs Pokeman** > > On one side you have a very old purveyor of an ancient sauce, on the other, a young bunch of animated creatures trained to fight. > > (a guy at work actually came up with this battle of the titans, and it had me in stitches all day) \*\* I want to hear that one. **refusal** , I’d first put up a Battle of the Network Stars v. Battle of the Planets crew. ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863/12 "2003-07-25T18:34:52Z")
My Penis vs. My Hand ---
**Author:** ![godzillatemple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/49beb7/32.png) [@godzillatemple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godzillatemple)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863/13 "2003-07-25T18:52:15Z")
Mars vs. Ares, Athena vs. Minerva, Zeus vs. Jupiter, etc. The Haves vs. The Have Nots Feeding a Cold vs. Starving a Fever Walt Disney’s Lawyers vs. Microsoft’s Lawyers George Lucas vs. Steven Spielberg in the Celebrety Cage of Death! ---
**Author:** ![godzillatemple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/49beb7/32.png) [@godzillatemple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godzillatemple)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863/14 "2003-07-25T18:57:56Z")
[celebrity] ---
**Author:** ![Isosleepy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/isosleepy/32/479_2.png) [@Isosleepy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isosleepy)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863/15 "2003-07-25T20:23:56Z")
Richard Simmons VS Gene Simmons Linda Tripp VS Larry King ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863/16 "2003-07-25T20:57:17Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Kn_ckers \* > **Dr. Christiaan Barnard vs. Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman** > What Dr. Barnard lacked in leather-clad male companions, he made up for in groundbreaking transplant surgery. A close contest, this one. No, \*\* Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman vs. Forrest Gump\*\* Whereas Forrest could be the epicenter of a historical event, and the viewer would find the scene enjoyable and an emotional pick-me-pup, Dr. Quinn could do the same thing and make the viewer want to hurl from the hokiness. Whenever my wife watched that show, I’d have to leave the room… ---
**Author:** ![Mastema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/94ad74/32.png) [@Mastema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mastema)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863/17 "2003-07-26T02:29:47Z")
RIAA Attourneys vs. 300 annoyed and hungry Bengal Tigers ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863/18 "2003-07-26T02:39:46Z")
Ghandi vs Buddha Dead Kennedys vs Live Kennedys Arby’s Oven Mitt vs Me with a wood chipper Captain Kirk & Spock vs the Captain & Tennille Bugs Bunny vs the Killer Bunny from MP&THG Bugs Bunny vs the Energizer Bunny Tony the Tiger vs Tiger Woods ---
**Author:** ![Mastema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/94ad74/32.png) [@Mastema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mastema)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863/19 "2003-07-26T02:44:22Z")
Bob Ross vs. Bob Marley ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863/20 "2003-07-26T02:49:16Z")
Death Star Vs. The entire vogon constructor fleet. Schrodinger’s cat vs. Nostradamus and a guy who can figure out what the hell he’s saying. Godzilla Vs.Cthulhu. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vs-threads-we-havent-seen/190863.md?page=2)