# Vulcan Pick Up Lines **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [December 5, 2010, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995 "2010-12-05T02:42:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/1 "2010-12-05T02:42:49Z")
It is my observation you display superior taste in footwear. In an unrelated matter, would you care to engage in coitus? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/2 "2010-12-05T02:46:31Z")
You and me would be logical. I have not had sex in seven years. This could be a night to store in your data banks. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/3 "2010-12-05T08:26:21Z")
I calculate that a 97.465% probability that it would be mutually beneficial for us to induce orgasm in each other. Shall we seek experimental confirmation? Although there would be significant overheads in terms of re-indexing and other related tasks, these would surely be outweighed by the benefits of a logically ordered alphabet in which the consonants and vowels were segregated, and statistical analysis mandates that in such a case U and I would become adjacent. ---
**Author:** ![heavyarms553](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/779978/32.png) [@heavyarms553](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heavyarms553)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/4 "2010-12-05T15:22:47Z")
I’m gonna nibble your ears till they’re round. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/5 "2010-12-05T16:23:01Z")
Pretty much anything Temperance Brennan (“Bones”) says to a man would qualify as a Vulcan pickup line. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/6 "2010-12-05T16:30:30Z")
While I do not indulge in aesthetical considerations, copious data compiled from the reactions of other species indicate that your clothing would prove more appealing were it strewn on the floor of my sleeping quarters. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/7 "2010-12-05T16:35:08Z")
I have placed the tip of one digit into a beverage and introduced a trace amount of liquid to your apparel. I am now able to imply, via the use of rhetorical hyperbole, that it would prove unhealthy and/or uncomfortable for you to remain in said garments, and thus you would benefit from the removal of items of clothing. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/8 "2010-12-05T16:35:58Z")
If I stated your humanoid form was highly aesthetic , would you consent to full dermal contact? ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/9 "2010-12-05T16:39:36Z")
My analysis shows that only one female in 996,234.87 has positive qualities equaling or surpassing those you posses. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/10 "2010-12-05T18:11:54Z")
You should collect your outer garment; you have successfully engaged the attention of a member of the opposite gender. If there were an infernal being liable to perspiration, and if female pulchritude were truly synonymous with hyperpyrexia, you would surely be hot enough to cause the devil to sweat. May I suggest a bowl of _plomik_ soup and an act of coition? - Can it be that you find _plomik_ soup distasteful? Are their Vulcan inclusions in your anatomy? - Are you desirous of such? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/11 "2010-12-05T18:30:37Z")
Seven years, hell. I’ll pon farr will you anytime. Everybody pon farr tonight. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/12 "2010-12-05T18:55:33Z")
The Pon farr, is far, but the Poontang is near. It is logical and efficient. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/13 "2010-12-05T21:12:22Z")
As a skilled astrogator, I would need no computer assistance to find the way to Uranus. However, while you doubtless understand the wordplay, I am willing to accommodate your preference for vaginal penetration should such be the case. ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/14 "2010-12-05T23:05:54Z")
Oddly enough some of the female gnome “/flirt” sequences from World of Warcraft would seem appropriate as Vulcan pickup lines: [ul] [li]“At this time, I think you should purchase me an alcoholic beverage and engage in diminutive conversation with me in hopes of establishing a rapport.”[/li][li]“I cannot find you completely disagreeable.”[/li][li]“I don’t feel the 1 to 10 scale is fine enough to capture subtle details of compatibility. I’d prefer a 12 dimensional compatibility scale with additional parameters for mechanical aptitude and torque.”[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/15 "2010-12-05T23:25:07Z")
The needs of the horny outweigh the needs of the celibate… And even if they dont? Well, fuck em I say… ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/16 "2010-12-05T23:35:41Z")
You desire me. I have olfactory confirmation. You know what screws like a Sehlat? _winks_ ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/17 "2010-12-06T04:28:59Z")
You had me at “Live long, and prosper”. Would you care to return to my sleeping quarters and view my collection of warp manifold schematics? ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/18 "2010-12-06T14:40:09Z")
“Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations”. It would be logical to find out just how diverse we can be together. Perhaps it would be even more logical to find that out in my quarters. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/19 "2010-12-06T15:20:43Z")
Him: I presume you were injured. Her: Huh? Him: It is logical to presume you were injured… when you rapidly accelerated downward from Sha Ka Rhee. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995/20 "2010-12-06T15:39:17Z")
It is a logical assumption that your lower extremeties are physically enervated, given that I have visualized you engaged in the act of moving very quickly on foot throughout the duration of the current nocturnal period. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcan-pick-up-lines/562995.md?page=2)