# Vulcans vs. Jedis **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 3, 2006, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970 "2006-03-03T22:26:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970/21 "2006-03-04T05:01:29Z")
> [@Stratocaster](#): > > The Vulcan would attempt a mind meld on the Jedi, only to walk away shaking his head, saying, “These aren’t the droids we’re looking for.” :dubious: **That is highly illogical**. That Jedi ability only worked on the weak minded. Vulcan are most definitely not weak-minded. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970/22 "2006-03-04T09:57:55Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > :dubious: **That is highly illogical**. That Jedi ability only worked on the weak minded. The weak minded _and_ Vulcans. I thought everybody knew that. Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970/23 "2006-03-04T16:57:47Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Which books-I’m a bit behind on my EU reading. The Yuuzhan Vong campaign series shows the lead up to why, and the last book ( The Unifying Force) sets out at the end the new philosophy they’ve come to. The books set after that (I think it’s the Dark Nest ones) actually show Jedi using some Sith abilities. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970/24 "2006-03-04T18:00:35Z")
It seems to me a Vulcan would make a superb Jedi. They already have control over their emotions. In the unlikely event of a fight, I see no way a Vulcan could be prepared to deal with Force powers, but a Jedi would only defend himself (or herself). It wouldn’t take long for both to realize a potential ally. Hell, they wouldn’t even need to speak. Now, the real question is how would a phaser and a lightsaber interact? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970/25 "2006-03-04T19:22:22Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > Now, the real question is how would a phaser and a lightsaber interact? Considering that phasers have a wide beam setting, a lightsaber would be of little use. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970/26 "2006-03-04T19:49:32Z")
Um, the Vulcans are VERY INTELLIGENT. The Jedi, to judge by their being wiped out in Ep. III, are not. Look for early victories by the Jedi thanks to their mind powers, then the Vulcans will devise a strategy, and it’ll just be a Jedi-mopping-up operation after that. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970/27 "2006-03-04T20:55:53Z")
If you’ve seen any of the movie scenes set on Vulcan, you know that the Vulcans dress very similarly to the Jedis. So, they could join forces and not have to pony up for new uniforms. Let’s not forget that. Alliances have been formed for lesser reasons. Also, I’d give the edge to “May the Force be with you,” over “Live long and prosper.” The latter always had a banal, “Have a nice day” quality to it, IMO. And we all know that these wars are ultimately won in the hearts and minds of the middle class. If you have the better catchphrase, you’re in the driver’s seat. If not, before you know it you’ve lost all your funding in the face of voter opposition. There. I’d say that settles it. I have given you all the important facts to consider. Sun Tzu should come back from the dead to re-write _The Art of War_ based on my insights in this very post. Oh! And Jedis have that celibacy thing going on (I’m remembering that correctly, right?). If that doesn’t produce an orneriness that will come in handy in battle, I don’t know what will. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970/28 "2006-03-04T21:07:22Z")
> [@Revenant Threshold](#): > > The Yuuzhan Vong campaign series shows the lead up to why, and the last book ( The Unifying Force) sets out at the end the new philosophy they’ve come to. The books set after that (I think it’s the Dark Nest ones) actually show Jedi using some Sith abilities. Well, I’ve read the NJO, but I haven’t gotten to the Dark Nest books yet. Thanks for the tip, though. **Stratocaster** -that’s the interesting thing. According to Lucas Himself, the Jedi are NOT required to be completely celibate-they can have sex and such. They just aren’t allowed to “attachments”, like spouses and families. So I’m guessing there’s a lot of “friends with benefits” relationships going on in the Galaxy Far Far Away. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970/29 "2006-03-04T21:17:53Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > **Stratocaster** -that’s the interesting thing. According to Lucas Himself, the Jedi are NOT required to be completely celibate-they can have sex and such. They just aren’t allowed to “attachments”, like spouses and families. So I’m guessing there’s a lot of “friends with benefits” relationships going on in the Galaxy Far Far Away. Oh. So much for my “blue balls” theory of superior battle aggression. Even we war strategy geniuses miss the mark once in a while. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970/30 "2006-03-04T22:43:08Z")
> [@Stratocaster](#): > > Oh. So much for my “blue balls” theory of superior battle aggression. Even we war strategy geniuses miss the mark once in a while. It wouldn’t be that much of an edge anyway, I mean, Vulcans only get laid once every seven years so you’d think they’d be a tad cantankerous. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970/31 "2006-03-04T23:36:31Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > It wouldn’t be that much of an edge anyway, I mean, Vulcans only get laid once every seven years so you’d think they’d be a tad cantankerous. Yeah, but after the release, they are drained to the point of being the equivalent of dish rags. If you can catch a bunch of post-coitus Vulcans in battle, you’d have a hard time getting them to do anything but smoke a cigarette and roll over. The Jedis would destroy them. So it’s really just a scheduling issue; catch 'em after they’re satisfied. Wars have turned on such details, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970/32 "2006-03-05T02:12:52Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > It wouldn’t be that much of an edge anyway, I mean, Vulcans only get laid once every seven years so you’d think they’d be a tad cantankerous. Considering Sarek had at least two human wives, I doubt that sexual intercourse is only had every seven years. Women may not have the same sex drives as men on average but most have it more than ten times in their lives. My personal theory is that pon farr is only experienced by those Vulcans that eschew all emotion that is possible and choose to be completely celibate on top of that. If they allow themselves some sort of pressure valve, they don’t require the volcanic release every seven years. Also, the Jedis would make the Vulcans their bitches at every level of confrotation short of full planetary engagement and even that is dependent on just how many Jedis there are. The Force, if used intelligently, is just too powerful and deus ex machina-ey. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970/33 "2006-03-05T04:02:56Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > My personal theory is that pon farr is only experienced by those Vulcans that eschew all emotion that is possible and choose to be completely celibate on top of that. If they allow themselves some sort of pressure valve, they don’t require the volcanic release every seven years. That would explain why Romulans don’t seem to go through pon farr, despite only a couple of thousand years of seperation. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970/34 "2006-03-05T17:40:24Z")
Turns out Vulcans possess a fourth eyelid that renders them immune to Force attacks. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970/35 "2006-03-05T17:45:10Z")
**Jedi knight with a light sabre vs. a Vulcan with a lirpa:** Victory goes to the Jedi. **Jedi knight with a light sabre vs. a Vulcan with a Type I or II phaser:** The Vulcan emerges triumphant. **Jedi knight in an X-wing fighter vs. a Vulcan in a Constellation-class starship:** Goodbye, Jedi. **Jedi vs. Vulcan in a game of 3D-chess:** The Jedi is toast. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970/36 "2006-03-05T18:43:37Z")
Jedi Knight with a light saber vs. My Little Sister with a 12 gauge and 01 buck: She cleans his clock. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970/37 "2006-03-05T19:03:29Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Jedi Knight with a light saber vs. My Little Sister with a 12 gauge and 01 buck: She cleans his clock. Your little sister sounds scary. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970/38 "2006-03-05T20:34:56Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > Your little sister sounds scary. She eats Jedi food for breakfast. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970/39 "2006-03-05T20:52:08Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > She eats Jedi food for breakfast. Not unless Jedi eat cheese grits. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2006, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970/40 "2006-03-05T21:04:08Z")
It’s hard to deny the tactical benefit of a scattergun versus just about anyone, SF setting or otherwise: Jedis: “Do, or do not! There is no–” _ **BLAM** _ Vulcans: “My mind… to your mind. My thoughts–” _ **BLAM** _ Khandarian Demons: “Join us! We’ll swallow your–” _ **BLAM** _ Lawyers: "Y’know, Dick, I’ve been a loyal campaign contributor for a long time, but-- _ **BLAM** _ Sith Lords: “The circle is now complete. Once I was the stude–” _ **BLAM** _ “Aaaugh!!! What the f–” _ **BLAM** _ Cartoon Ducks: “Well I say he _does_ have to shoot me now! So shoot me now!” _ **BLAM** _ Klingons: “Today is a good day to–” _ **BLAM** _ 3PO Units: “M–” _ **BLAM** _ Ewoks: _ **BLAM** _ Gungans: **_BLAM __BLAM__ BLAM __BLAM__ BLAM_** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vulcans-vs-jedis/346970.md?page=3)