# W\*nker **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [July 14, 2003, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338 "2003-07-14T09:50:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JeffMutt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71e660/32.png) [@JeffMutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffMutt)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338/1 "2003-07-14T09:50:45Z")
Re: Why doesn’t 0.999~ = 1.0 (or thereabouts) I was surprised to note Cecil’s use of the word “wanker” in one of the early paragraphs. Far from being offended by such gratuitous use of the “w” word, I became curious as to when this word was first employed by Americans (assuming of course that Cecil is one). Last I knew nobody in the States understood what it meant, leading to much hilarity on programmes such as V Graham Norton (C4 at 10:00 daily). So does America “get” what a wanker is, when to call someone a wanker, and how to add more weight to the insult through the addition of a special hand gesture? Many thanks ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338/2 "2003-07-14T10:16:49Z")
Link to the article referenced: [An infinite question: Why doesn’t .999~ = 1?](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/030711.html) Hazarding a guess, I’d say that if Americans weren’t aware of the word and its usage after British films and television since the 1960s, they’d certainly know now through the Internet. ---
**Author:** ![biqu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@biqu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/biqu)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338/3 "2003-07-14T10:28:23Z")
[Link to column](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/030711.html) > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by JeffMutt_ > I became curious as to when this word was first employed by Americans (assuming of course that Cecil is one). Yes, Cecil is an American. He’s also Catholic, liberal (by US standards), left-handed, and a registered [trademark](http://tess2.uspto.gov/bin/showfield?f=doc&state=s69jp6.2.1) at the US patent office. ---
**Author:** ![biqu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@biqu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/biqu)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338/4 "2003-07-14T10:42:06Z")
The link to the US patent office didn’t work the [last time](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=128098&highlight=Cecil+Adams+trademark) it was tried here either. Why I expected it to work this time, I don’t know. Just wishful thinking, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![bifar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@bifar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bifar)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338/5 "2003-07-14T10:42:10Z")
Huh. I was going to link to this just so I can go HA HA YOU’RE WRONG YOU SILLY CEC. Knowing nothing of any use otherwise, this will be the only chance I get. > [@](#): > > Q: Why are we talking about this incredibly esoteric topic when there are so many more interesting things to discuss, like whether Rebecca Romijn-Stamos is wearing anything besides blue body paint in the new X-Men movie? > A: Because it’s cool, you wanker. Here, have a banana while the rest of us discuss. No no no. The correct term there would be ‘idiot’. ‘Wanker’ does not mean ‘fool’. It means ‘annoying sad bastard’. So there. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338/6 "2003-07-14T10:46:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bifar \* > \*\* > No no no. The correct term there would be ‘idiot’. ‘Wanker’ does not mean ‘fool’. It means ‘annoying sad bastard’. So there. \*\* Somehow, **bifar** , I think ol’ Cec conveyed meaning number 2 there rather well. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![JeffMutt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71e660/32.png) [@JeffMutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffMutt)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338/7 "2003-07-14T10:47:13Z")
Of course it does, but maybe he was having a bad morning ---
**Author:** ![bifar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@bifar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bifar)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338/8 "2003-07-14T11:09:31Z")
Eh, **Ice Wolf** , I would concur, only that would mean Cec was right and I was wrong, which can surely never happen.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Matt\_NZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Matt\_NZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Matt_NZ)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338/9 "2003-07-14T11:39:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bifar \* > \*\* ‘Wanker’ does not mean ‘fool’. It means ‘annoying sad bastard’. So there. \*\* Correct, wanker does not mean ‘fool’. Incorrect, wanker does not mean ‘sad annoying bastard’ :smack: A wanker is someone who ‘wanks’ - or masturbates. So calling someone a ‘wanker’ is the same as calling them a ‘jerkoff’ - just, well, more british. Although, it is easily deductable that to be a ‘wanker’, you are usually a ‘sad annoying bastard’ - and quite possiby a ‘fool’ also. Wanker is very versatile, in that respect. And as for the hand gesture, kinda obvious, that one. ---
**Author:** ![JeffMutt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71e660/32.png) [@JeffMutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffMutt)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338/10 "2003-07-14T12:29:23Z")
I’ve never called anyone a wanker because I thought they might have knocked a crafty one off the wrist recently, more because they’ve been acting like an arsehole, or a bit of a twat, or both. Anyway, Americans do know what it means, which is all I asked. ---
**Author:** ![vd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b19c9b/32.png) [@vd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vd)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338/11 "2003-07-14T14:45:10Z")
The benefit of an American using “wanker” in print is that it isn’t as likely to offend anyone as a more American term would. The weeklies in which the Dope normally appears probably don’t have a very prude readership, but you could also probably get away with “wanker” in more conservative press too. “Jerkoff” might get you a few letters in America. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338/12 "2003-07-14T16:19:39Z")
Oops. Sorry. Thought someone was talking to me, here… ---
**Author:** ![Padmaraga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f07891/32.png) [@Padmaraga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padmaraga)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338/13 "2003-07-14T20:56:00Z")
What about this place, then? [http://www.wankerscorner.com/](http://www.wankerscorner.com/) I’ve eaten there - does that make me a Wanker? Would you believe me if I told you I rarely masterbate? Does it matter? ---
**Author:** ![mascaroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@mascaroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mascaroni)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338/14 "2003-07-14T21:06:42Z")
So who’s going to explain about the ‘Dog’s Bollocks’? I can’t see that one crossing the pond. ---
**Author:** ![Julius\_Henry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8797f3/32.png) [@Julius\_Henry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Julius_Henry)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338/15 "2003-07-14T21:49:49Z")
There is a supposedly true story that goes around my office of a secretary interrupting a meeting by telling her boss, “There is a Dick Wanker on the phone.” It took a while to get the meeting back on track. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338/16 "2003-07-14T23:13:40Z")
What is the controvosy? Isn’t it clear that Cecil meant “annoying, sad bastards (ie) who don’t appreciate maths”? (Which is cooler, naked shapeshifters or maths is another argument; I like both, and assumed Cecil did too, but maybe not…) ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338/17 "2003-07-14T23:30:28Z")
Well, IS she wearing anything other than body paint and latex scales? Inquiring minds want to know! ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338/18 "2003-07-15T00:04:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FisherQueen \* > \*\*Well, IS she wearing anything other than body paint and latex scales? Inquiring minds want to know! \*\* Because 0.99… is defined as ‘the limit of 0.9, 0.99, 0.999, …’ which is 1. If you want to define it another way or not at all, feel free, but be aware it’s like using ‘h’ instead of ‘2’ - it causes confusion. Don’t worry, it took me ages to get it too… Oh, who am I kidding. Time to get this moved to cafe society and talk about naked blue chicks 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338/19 "2003-07-15T05:47:03Z")
I mentioned in another thread, Rebecca was on the Tonight Show, and she discussed a certain difficulty in passing gas, and having it form bubbles under the rubber outfit, and having to adjust them up and out. (Now I’m fuzzy on whether it was her or her stunt double.) There were some latex parts, including one up the rear and back. Regarding _wanker_, we’re dealing with denotations versus connotations. The denotation (official definition) is a masturbator. The connotation (unofficial meaning that many people attach) is that a masturbator is a sad, pathetic loser. Thus calling someone a wanker is hinting that they’re a sad, pathetic loser. ---
**Author:** ![Matt\_NZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Matt\_NZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Matt_NZ)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/w-nker/188338/20 "2003-07-15T08:25:03Z")
The dogs bollucks would be dogs nuts, btw. And the only reason I said about the true meaning is because I misintepreted some posts… I only vaugely remember posting that… lol