# Wait till I get my big groping hands on your soft little breasts! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 24, 2004, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398 "2004-11-24T01:54:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Optihut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/edb3f5/32.png) [@Optihut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Optihut)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398/21 "2004-11-24T18:06:39Z")
> [@Glory](#): > > I don’t think this is a US thing. The one time I did get my breasts patted down while traveling I was in the Amsterdam airport en route to Dehli. My male colleague got his jimmy patted down pretty well, much to our amusement. Wow, when was that? I was never patted down, the security people always used one of those O-shaped detectors instead. I didn’t have to take off my shoes either before the flight from Europe to Canada, but a lot of the security people asked me to open my backpack, because my batterypack looked suspicious. Since the shoe thing seems to be a US exclusive surprise, I assumed that patting down people would be confined to the states as well (especially since I haven’t encountered it elsewhere). ---
**Author:** ![anu-la1979](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/47e85d/32.png) [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398/22 "2004-11-24T19:59:45Z")
Females are supposed to pat down female travellers but I have been in situations where the lines were absolutely endless and I really needed to get on my flight and male security workers have asked my permission to do the patdown so that I could board. I can’t say I was really groped but I was none too pleased. ---
**Author:** ![LordVor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90ced4/32.png) [@LordVor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LordVor)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398/23 "2004-11-24T20:26:01Z")
> [@Ilsa\_Lund](#): > > Is this a joke? (Not trying to be a jerk, just didn’t know if your humor was too dry for me.) He means that if breasts are off limits to searchers, people will start smuggling things in their bra’s. As others have figured, I was pointing out that it’s just as easy to smuggle something in up your ass as it is to smuggle it in under the breasts. Easier, if you don’t happen to have breasts. Which leaves you with two choices for the “complete safety” that some people seem to be so willing to give up their personal liberties to get: Full-body cavity searches for every passenger, or develop non-invasive methods of detecting substances wherever they may be hidden on (or in) the body. Anything in between, like breast and crotch pat-downs, is an annoyance that isn’t going to stop anyone who’s done an ounch of planning. IIRC, people who’ve done their planning don’t tend to take what they need through security at all, historically they’ve bribed someone who works at the airport/airline to plant what they need on the other side of the security gate. -lv ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398/24 "2004-11-24T21:46:55Z")
My wife and I have never had more done than walk through the metal detector.Maybe we’re just lucky. The reason I came into this thread, though, is I thought the thread title was about Thanksgiving turkey. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![professor\_folk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df788c/32.png) [@professor\_folk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/professor_folk)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398/25 "2004-11-24T22:44:56Z")
one mundane pointless thing I’ll mention here is that, ever since the shoe bomber guy, I have to remove my shoes EVERY TIME. The strange thing I always wonder is, am I marked because my father has the same exact name as the shoe bomber guy? ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398/26 "2004-11-25T08:07:47Z")
We did this in the pit[last month](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=280455&highlight=searching+breasts). ---
**Author:** ![trupa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@trupa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trupa)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398/27 "2004-11-25T16:48:59Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > It won’t take much–just enough to knock a fist-sized hole in a pressurized cabin moving 600 mph at 25,000 feet. Science can take over to finish off the plane. This is a very common misconception, which I also held for a long time. Actually, a fist sized hole at cruising altitude & airspeed would probably cause a moderately gradual decompression. The compressors in a contemporary jumbo are able to keep up with a leak the size of bullet hole in a window, which would not result in a very rapid decompression at all, if any. The pilots would release the oxygen masks and do a rapid descent to about 10 000 feet or so, and look for a conveniently near airport. As reference, I cite the Mytbusters episode on the topic, and the 747 near Hawai that lost a patch of ceiling/roof the whole width of the airplane and several rows long, and made an emergency landing just fine. The only loss was a stewardess who had been standing under the hole and a few passengers with their belts undone right below the hole. Any aeronautical people care to contribute? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398/28 "2004-11-26T14:37:58Z")
> [@trupa](#): > > Actually, a fist sized hole at cruising altitude & airspeed would probably cause a moderately gradual decompression. The compressors in a contemporary jumbo are able to keep up with a leak the size of bullet hole in a window, which would not result in a very rapid decompression at all, if any. God point, and embarassingly reasonable when you put it that way. Still…a C4 tampon of doom, maybe two, I’m guessing would be sufficient to take down a big ol’ jet airliner if disposed of properly. But maybe I’m overestimating the pop in the 'pon. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398/29 "2004-11-26T16:03:23Z")
I’m always blown away by these sorts of complaints. That, and folks complaining about the huge delays. If you’ve paid any attention at ALL to the world at large, you are aware of these things, and can plan accordingly. I haven’t flown since the beginning of 2001, but I know that if I’m helping a friend make a flight I make sure we’re there at least an hour before hand… ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398/30 "2004-11-26T17:48:20Z")
> [@NutMagnet](#): > > I thought it was already the procedure that females pat down females and males do males. I also understood that this is done with the back of the hand and that rubber gloves are worn. > > From here: > > [http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE\_ID=25974](http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=25974) Re: can’t ask you to remove your shoes b/f the metal detector: TSA dude, at the domestic terminal security line, Nov. 23, SFO: “Now folks, I can’t _ask_ you to take off your shoes before going through the metal detector but I strongly recommend that you do.” Me, a hundred others: start bouncing around on one foot attempting to de-shod ourselves. FYI: hair barettes set off the metal detectors. I live in Canada; I think I will refrain from American travel for the duration. It’s not the security checks that bother me so much as my lack of legal protection as a foreign citizen. It’s a hard call, but if I have to surrender access to quality Memphis BBQ to maintain access to due process, the ribs will have to wait. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398/31 "2004-11-26T17:57:35Z")
More than that, **Annie** - we were told at several airports that if we didn’t “choose” to remove our shoes, we would automatically be selected for patdown! **Tristan** , these measures are useless and a waste of everybody’s time. If I thought for one minute that it was increasing security when I fly, then I wouldn’t compalin. But I don’t think it is. I posted this in the Patti LuPone thread- while 6 months pregnant (12/01), I was thoroughly searched around my midsection, then asked by the screener if I was wearing a belt! I asked her, “Did you FIND a belt?!?” Dumbass. ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398/32 "2004-11-26T18:11:18Z")
> [@EJsGirl](#): > > More than that, **Annie** - we were told at several airports that if we didn’t “choose” to remove our shoes, we would automatically be selected for patdown! The implicit ‘failure to cooperate indicates guilt’ subtext,: fifth amendment issue, si? I really didn’t mind taking off my shoes; I’d been flying 20 hrs and my wee doggies appreciated a bit of ventilation. Now, multiply that foot stink by 120 other flyers though… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398/33 "2004-11-26T18:28:17Z")
> [@Annie](#): > > I live in Canada; I think I will refrain from American travel **for the duration.** :dubious: Dude, it’s been three years. People are just starting to whine about this. How long do you expect this “duration” to be? ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398/34 "2004-11-26T19:11:33Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > :dubious: > Dude, it’s been three years. People are just starting to whine about this. How long do you expect this “duration” to be? It can be a hundred years, I don’t care. I can function in life quite nicely without having to enter the US. Really, the airport security seems no more onerous than in other countries. My personal line in the sand is that as a non-American I can be denied protection of law; see [http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/arar/](http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/arar/) . Fukkit, if I want to fly to Europe or Asia I’ll pay the extra $500 for a semi direct flight. It’s your country, do what you like, but I don’t have to play along. ---
**Author:** ![infamousmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d6d6ee/32.png) [@infamousmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/infamousmom)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398/35 "2004-11-26T20:58:16Z")
On the bright side, maybe my 75-year-old mother will get so pissed at being patted down that she’ll NEVER fly out here to visit us again. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![infamousmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d6d6ee/32.png) [@infamousmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/infamousmom)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398/36 "2004-11-26T21:01:57Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > It won’t take much–just enough to knock a fist-sized hole in a pressurized cabin moving 600 mph at 25,000 feet. Science can take over to finish off the plane. Spoken like a guy who doesn’t watch “MythBusters.” Or who’s watched “Goldfinger” way too many times. Sorry dude, it just doesn’t work that way. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398/37 "2004-11-26T21:30:00Z")
> [@infamousmom](#): > > Spoken like a guy who doesn’t watch “MythBusters.” Or who’s watched “Goldfinger” way too many times. Sorry dude, it just doesn’t work that way. Hey now! I recanted a couple posts later! Besides, I killed my TV a couple years ago. I’m down to the DVD/VCR now (well…they _are_ hooked up to a TV, but that’s the only signal it gets). ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398/38 "2004-11-26T23:06:55Z")
With all the TSA complaint threads, I had a moment of inspiration (with apologies to Devo) \*Crack that whip Hand me that nail clip Spread your crack Break the terrorist’s back When a person comes along We will frisk it Don’t try sneak your boobies on We will frisk it When something’ feeling wrong We will frisk it Now frisk it into shape hands up shoes off bend over move ahead we will detect it it’s not too late to frisk it frisk it good When it’s time to travel round We will frisk it Would you pull your trousers down? So we can frisk it No one goes on their way Until we frisk it I say frisk it Frisk it good\* ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398/39 "2004-11-26T23:15:24Z")
Having seen a firm thick underwire rip loose more than once from the underside of a bra, I can well imaging a female terrorist impaling flight attendants with one, therefore…um… No wait. That’s not right… ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398/40 "2004-11-26T23:27:24Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > With all the TSA complaint threads, I had a moment of inspiration (with apologies to Devo)\* Very nice. I’ll be giggling all night long as I drink all the beer in Golden, CO tonight (Starting with Woody’s AYCE Pizza!). I’m so gonna be in a cab… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wait-till-i-get-my-big-groping-hands-on-your-soft-little-breasts/276398.md?page=3)