# Waiters with prepared speeches **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 23, 2009, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670 "2009-06-23T00:47:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670/61 "2009-06-23T16:14:23Z")
But if the waiter/waitress doesn’t give the speech to EVERYONE, then it’s not FAIR to the OTHER PATRONS who didn’t HAVE TO WAIT! NOT FAIR!!! ---
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670/62 "2009-06-23T16:19:23Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > It’s called proprietary information. Why SHOULD they give you the recipe so you can make it at home? Didn’t think they \*should, \*just offered reasons and an anecdote for why it wouldn’t necessarily cost them business if they chose to do so. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670/63 "2009-06-23T16:48:58Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > That was me, once upon a time, at my first “real job” (not babysitting or working for family). Only I was the takeout girl at Big Boy. It was 26 years ago, but I still remember the Godawful spiel: > > “Good evening. Thank you for calling Marc’s Home of the Big Boy, Northland Avenue. This is Scarlett, how may I help you?” Even without specials, it was a mouthful. I don’t see anything wrong with that. You’ve got (a) greeting, (b) restaurant name, (c) location of restaurant since it’s a chain, and (d) the name of the person answering the phone. That’s a pretty standard list of information to give. You could maybe stand to do away with the “Good evening,” but that’s about it. > [@Mach Tuck](#): > > And maybe I’m getting old and cranky, but this corporate-speak bullshit makes me want to stay away. I want to punish companies that force that kind of nonsense on their employees and customers. If you choose to go this route, make sure they know why you’re no longer patronizing them. If enough people complain, maybe they’ll stop doing it. > [@DoctorJ](#): > > Not to mention that if they give the standing spiel on the specials they almost never say how much they are, and I hate to ask, but I also hate being surprised. It also means that I’ve usually had a minute or two with the menu before the waitress comes over, and when they throw the specials into the mix I have to start the decision process over. Why do you think they do the specials separately? They’re always going to cost more, and they’re never going to tell you how much until you ask. They’re pretty much counting on you being (a) enticed by the special and (b) too embarassed to look like you can’t afford it to ask the price. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670/64 "2009-06-23T16:51:34Z")
> [@SmellMyWort](#): > > But if the waiter/waitress doesn’t give the speech to EVERYONE, then it’s not FAIR to the OTHER PATRONS who didn’t HAVE TO WAIT! NOT FAIR!!! I had totally blocked out that chick. Is she still posting? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670/65 "2009-06-23T17:26:08Z")
I don’t really give a shit about the name—on the rare occasions where I can even make it out over the dining-room pandemonium, I forget it within seconds—but they should make the waitstaff easily distinguishable. That means _one_ fat chick with a nose stud and granny glasses, _one_ tall guy with frosted tips and a decided lisp, _one_ token black guy, et cetera. Two guys the of same height and hair color? Sorry, one of you gets to wear a welder’s mask and the other gets to talk all night using an artificial larynx. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670/66 "2009-06-23T17:35:48Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Call me Crabby Appleton, but I do not like “Have you been here before” (what, is there an initiation?), waiters recommending their own personal favorite menu items, and those who repeatedly stop back to ask “How does the food _taste_?” (“Too much fucking oregano.”) A discreet “Would you like anything else” is good. On the spot food reviews are uncalled-for. It drives me nuts when a waiter asks me if I’ve been there before. Nine times out of 10 it’s because they’re about to pour olive oil on a plate or mix soy sauce with hot sauce in front of you (I’m lookin’ at you, Macaroni Grill and PF Chang’s). Unless that question means they’re about to inform me that they customarily hock a loogie into each customer’s drink, I promise that I’m not going to get up and run away if they start mixing something in front of me. Another thing that irritates the hell out of my husband is when some random person (presumably the restaurant manager) shows up and hovers over the table asking if everything’s ok, yet doesn’t bother to introduce themselves, either by name and/or as someone who actually works at the establishment. For all we know, he could be a guy at the next table who decided to get a closer look at our food. My waiter introduced himsef - why can’t the random manager who stops by? It’s ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670/67 "2009-06-23T17:49:44Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > they should make the waitstaff easily distinguishable. That means _one_ fat chick with a nose stud and granny glasses, _one_ tall guy with frosted tips and a decided lisp, _one_ token black guy, et cetera. Well, that’s why they get to choose individual pieces of flair to display their own personal uniqueness to the world. ---
**Author:** ![vandal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/858c86/32.png) [@vandal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vandal)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670/68 "2009-06-23T17:54:37Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > But what’s the point? Nobody ever shouts, “Hey, Steve, can we get some more sour cream?” across a restaurant. We all do the same thing - glance around until we can catch our (or somebody else’s) waiter’s eye. Actually, I do. It may not be from across the entire restaurant, but if our server is walking by our table, I’ll say his name. To me, it just seems more humane. Having to raise your hand, or wave him over, or anything similar seems too impersonal. It’s called “being friendly.” I don’t see what the big deal is. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670/69 "2009-06-23T17:56:27Z")
I like to know their name, so I can call them over (quietly) if I need something. I like them to ask me if I’'ve been there before. If I have, they won’t give me some spiel I’ve already heard. If I haven’t, maybe they will give me some information I need to know that is unique to their restaurant. I also like to hear the specials, even if I’ve already made up my mind what I want to eat. The specials aren’t on the menu! Going out to eat can be an event. We don’t do it that often. ---
**Author:** ![Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hero_From_Sector_7G)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670/70 "2009-06-23T18:28:44Z")
> [@emmaliminal](#): > > If anything, it makes me feel like an insider with a special interest in the place. Yes, the insider Red Lobster club is quite a fantastic place to be. Really, there are about a billion other ways to build customer loyalty that don’t involve giving away the farm. Customers who expect them to do so are idiots. I worked at a popular bakery/cafe for a few years and was always on the receiving end of these requests. Fortunately I was able to truthfully tell our customers that our head baker hadn’t written anything down in years. Usually the next words out of the customer’s mouth would be “oh darn, now what am I going to make for the church bake sale tomorrow?” Sometimes I could turn this into a sale, and sometimes the customer fumed off. Even so, it would have been terrible publicity for grandma to shuffle out of the store clutching our recipe and sell her first attempt at a bake sale. The whole time she would be telling everyone how she got the recipe from us while the product she made wasn’t as good. There were a few instances of us trying to do a promotion where we would “retire” a muffin or something and give away the recipe. This was quickly abandoned as other bakeries began to carry those products, and would even advertise the fact that we no longer made them. Simply put, it is never a good idea to give away a recipe. ---
**Author:** ![ashman165](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@ashman165](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ashman165)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670/71 "2009-06-23T18:34:10Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > It drives me nuts when a waiter asks me if I’ve been there before. Nine times out of 10 it’s because they’re about to pour olive oil on a plate or mix soy sauce with hot sauce in front of you (I’m lookin’ at you, Macaroni Grill and PF Chang’s). Unless that question means they’re about to inform me that they customarily hock a loogie into each customer’s drink, I promise that I’m not going to get up and run away if they start mixing something in front of me. > > Another thing that irritates the hell out of my husband is when some random person (presumably the restaurant manager) shows up and hovers over the table asking if everything’s ok, yet doesn’t bother to introduce themselves, either by name and/or as someone who actually works at the establishment. For all we know, he could be a guy at the next table who decided to get a closer look at our food. My waiter introduced himsef - why can’t the random manager who stops by? It’s ridiculous. What’s even worse is the air of familiarity some of them feel free to butcher by seating themselves at _my_ table with _my_ friends to talk to us. Or the ones who touch my shoulder after walking up behind me. I don’t like being touched by strangers in the first place, let alone from behind with no warning. I do prefer to know my server’s name; it’s impolite to refer to someone as “hey you” or some such. Moreover, I expect that they’ll remember my name, to aid in that, my personality is helpful. If they address me by name later on, it’s an extra $10 in the tip. If I start getting a long to-do list, then I make a go of it by drawing it out as long as possible, with the manager of course. “Oh, that’s interesting. May I speak with your manager?” I figure if I can waste his/her time while I’m waiting on my food, I’ve somehow sought justice for all the maligned diners in the world. Particularly when I add at the end, “I’m sure this was as much fun for you as having my dinner hijacked by your speeches was for me.” ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670/72 "2009-06-23T18:42:52Z")
> [@ashman165](#): > > What’s even worse is the air of familiarity some of them feel free to butcher by seating themselves at _my_ table with _my_ friends to talk to us. Or the ones who touch my shoulder after walking up behind me. I don’t like being touched by strangers in the first place, let alone from behind with no warning. Oh god yes. Don’t touch me. Are you my friend? I don’t really even like my coworkers touching me unnecesarily, and I know them! ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670/73 "2009-06-23T18:45:02Z")
> [@ashman165](#): > > If I start getting a long to-do list, then I make a go of it by drawing it out as long as possible, with the manager of course. “Oh, that’s interesting. May I speak with your manager?” > > I figure if I can waste his/her time while I’m waiting on my food, I’ve somehow sought justice for all the maligned diners in the world. Particularly when I add at the end, “I’m sure this was as much fun for you as having my dinner hijacked by your speeches was for me.” Wow. If you don’t like hearing the long speech - stop the person, and say you are ready to order, and you don’t want to hear about the specials. Otherwise, you are there to get a service. That service is how they provide it, unless you ask for it to change. You then face a choice - don’t go there again if it is all too much for you, or stay. As mentioned, you can even interrupt the speech. But being a total douche about it strikes me as more than a little silly. I mean I go out to dinner to enjoy myself, not get all worked up and self righteous. And while waiting for my food, I would rather be talking to my date or friends than the manager. But each to their own. In the three or four restaurants I frequent most, its more likely to be “Hey villa, I cannot believe I got stuck with you in my section tonight - you want a bottle of wine or a Miller Lite tonight…” But even when I step wider, I’ve never found the waiter’s spiel to be so irritating it ruins the evening, cannot be ignored, or, more simply, isn’t able to be stopped with a simple “I’m not interested in the specials, thanks…” Though why I wouldn’t want to find out what the chef has that is interesting and not on the menu I have no idea. ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670/74 "2009-06-23T18:52:09Z")
> [@ashman165](#): > > What’s even worse is the air of familiarity some of them feel free to butcher by seating themselves at _my_ table with _my_ friends to talk to us. Or the ones who touch my shoulder after walking up behind me. I don’t like being touched by strangers in the first place, let alone from behind with no warning. What?!? There are restaurants where the waitstaff sit down at your table and chat?!? :eek: That’s way too much familiarity, thanks very much. Are you in a booth when this happens? Do they pull up an extra chair? I know that waitstaff are people, and deserved to be treated with respect. But I don’t know you and I didn’t invite you to sit with us… what if we’re discussing how to dispose of Aunt Gertie’s ashes, or one of us passes gas with abandon? I have no problem with the spiel - you’re a guest in their “house,” they have a right to tell you what they have that might be of interest. And of course, you can politely say no. I went to Bucca di Beppo recently and got the “have you been here before” spiel, which was not terrible and actually helpful. No idea why anyone would want to eat in the kitchen, though… ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670/75 "2009-06-23T19:06:46Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > They seem just fine with it. Everyone has a little laugh and we move on a little more relaxed. We’re not fine with it. We ‘have a little laugh’ because we can’t say, “Wow, real original there. Hadn’t heard that one before.” Every little ‘cutesy’ thing a customer does and thinks is funny is annoying as fuck to us. You hear out spiel once when you come out to eat, I hear you’re stupid quips, puns, and bad jokes dozens of times in a night. A list of the worst offenders include: The aforementioned ‘I’m bob and I’ll be your customer.’ Asking ‘Yeah, why did they use that font/color’ when I ask if you have questions about the menu. Being as weird as possible when ordering a rare steak. Just say rare, don’t tell me just to cut of the horns and hooves, or make sure it’s still mooing, or what have you. ---
**Author:** ![ashman165](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@ashman165](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ashman165)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670/76 "2009-06-23T19:08:33Z")
> [@villa](#): > > Wow. If you don’t like hearing the long speech - stop the person, and say you are ready to order, and you don’t want to hear about the specials. Otherwise, you are there to get a service. That service is how they provide it, unless you ask for it to change. You then face a choice - don’t go there again if it is all too much for you, or stay. As mentioned, you can even interrupt the speech. > > But being a total douche about it strikes me as more than a little silly. I mean I go out to dinner to enjoy myself, not get all worked up and self righteous. And while waiting for my food, I would rather be talking to my date or friends than the manager. But each to their own. > > In the three or four restaurants I frequent most, its more likely to be “Hey villa, I cannot believe I got stuck with you in my section tonight - you want a bottle of wine or a Miller Lite tonight…” But even when I step wider, I’ve never found the waiter’s spiel to be so irritating it ruins the evening, cannot be ignored, or, more simply, isn’t able to be stopped with a simple “I’m not interested in the specials, thanks…” Though why I wouldn’t want to find out what the chef has that is interesting and not on the menu I have no idea. Largely because it’s rude to interrupt people. I do this to manager because, presumably, it’s their job to set the tone of the restaurant. If they don’t want their time wasted by discussing the discussion each patron has to endure before being able to order, they should perhaps consider reducing the litany. If that’s your definition of a douchebag, then I guess you don’t get out all that much as it’s pretty mild to discuss with management their policies. A simple “Welcome to _ **, my name is** _\_, let me know if there’s anything I can do for you” is quite elegant. **Anaamika** : Yes! there are restaurants where the staff will sit down with you! In a booth, at a table, doesn’t matter. They do that a lot at The Outback, which is why I no longer eat there. It’s been about 5 years since I’ve gone. I don’t enjoy being touched in a general sense. Only a few select people have blanket permission to do so. I have had a couple of coworkers whom I’d shake hands with, but that’s about it. Except our Chair; she and I would hug. Either way, there’s at least _some_ degree of familiarity with these people; they aren’t strangers who just walked up and touched me. I very much do not appreciate that. Like I used to tell people when I’d decided not to write them a ticket and they’d try to shake my hand, “We aren’t friends, bud, drive carefully.” ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670/77 "2009-06-23T19:14:01Z")
“Have you been here before?” is helpful for places like Bucca di Beppo and Carmine’s so you know one order is jimungous. OK, I could eat one all by myself but most people would choose to share one. And speaking of shouting across the restaurant, I love the part in As Good As It Gets TWO HARDSHELL CRAB DINNERS, PITCHER OF COLD BEER! ONE BAKED, ONE FRIED! I’LL TELL YOUR WAITER! ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670/78 "2009-06-23T19:15:40Z")
> [@ashman165](#): > > Largely because it’s rude to interrupt people. I do this to manager because, presumably, it’s their job to set the tone of the restaurant. If they don’t want their time wasted by discussing the discussion each patron has to endure before being able to order, they should perhaps consider reducing the litany. If that’s your definition of a douchebag, then I guess you don’t get out all that much as it’s pretty mild to discuss with management their policies. > > A simple “Welcome to _ **, my name is** _\_, let me know if there’s anything I can do for you” is quite elegant. Discussing with management their policies or [QUOTE=ashman165] I figure if I can waste his/her time while I’m waiting on my food, I’ve somehow sought justice for all the maligned diners in the world. [/QUOTE] It’s not rude to interrupt the waiter to say you don’t want to hear the specials. Again, I have no idea why I would be going to the restaurant if I didn’t want to hear the specials, but YMMV. And there is nothing wrong with talking about policies to management, but you really don’t strike me as doing it to improve the situation (and, incidently, your improvement is also a deterioration for others). Instead, you made very clear you were doing it to fight back in some pathetic way. I just don’t see the point of going out to get pissed off. I can turn on Fox News and do that for free at home. If I go out, I’m looking to have as good a time as possible with whomever is accompanying me. It seems this is a much greater problem in corporate chains. In which case, if it bothes you that much, eat out less frequently in better places. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670/79 "2009-06-23T19:17:06Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Does that mean if you pay $30-50 for an entree at some pretentious 5-star restaurant you **are** entitled to treat people like shit? > > Also I’m gonna go ahead and say it: I like the Olive Garden food. It’s tasty. I don’t care if all they did was microwave it, it’s better than anything my sorry ass can “cook” at home. Surely you can make Chef Boyardee at home. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670/80 "2009-06-23T19:20:48Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > We’re not fine with it. We ‘have a little laugh’ because we can’t say, > “Wow, real original there. Hadn’t heard that one before.” > > Every little ‘cutesy’ thing a customer does and thinks is funny is annoying as fuck to us. You hear out spiel once when you come out to eat, I hear you’re stupid quips, puns, and bad jokes dozens of times in a night. A list of the worst offenders include: > > The aforementioned ‘I’m bob and I’ll be your customer.’ > Asking ‘Yeah, why did they use that font/color’ when I ask if you have questions about the menu. > Being as weird as possible when ordering a rare steak. Just say rare, don’t tell me just to cut of the horns and hooves, or make sure it’s still mooing, or what have you. We’re not making fun of you. It’s sincere. Much more sincere than the empty gesture you perpetuate, even when no one is looking. My husband is a friendly guy. If you don’t like people, you need to get in another line of work. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/waiters-with-prepared-speeches/500670.md?page=5)