# "Wake Up with the King"--AAAHHHHHHH! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 2, 2004, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245 "2004-10-02T23:07:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Marsie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Marsie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marsie)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/21 "2004-10-03T05:36:22Z")
That commercial scares the bejeebes out of me. The moment it comes on, my husband or I change stations, but just seeing it creeps me out. Take it off the air, take it off the air…take it off the air…pllleeeeaaaasssseeeee!!! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/22 "2004-10-03T06:20:58Z")
> [@NDP](#): > > Does anyone even remember the first set of commercials from the 70’s featuring the “Burger King” character? The Burger King was a combination fast-food monarch/magician who was obviously BK’s answer to McDonald’s long-running Ronald McDonald/McDonaldland campaign. (He even had a nemesis named The Duke of Doubt.) However, as I recall, the Burger King was not as successful as attracting the kid market as Ronald and the character was dropped after a couple years. However, he **was** successful enough that for a few months, Ronald McDonald suddenly had magic powers that he could call forth with a snap of his fingers. Apparently, the Mickey-D’s ad execs thought the whole “magician” angle of the Burger King was what the kids liked to see. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/23 "2004-10-03T06:33:24Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > I HATED HATED HATED Mr. Rogers, even as a very young kid. I hated the man, the character, and his stupid puppets. My mom didn’t like us watching him because he had the demeanor of a child molestor and I completely agree to this day. Well, he _was_ an ordained minister. 😃 That joke would work better if he had been a priest. ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/24 "2004-10-03T06:52:15Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Yeah, the whole rictus-grinning plastic mask thing gives it a _Halloween/Friday the 13th_ vibe. You get the feeling that three days later, when the schlub has failed to show up for work, the police break in to find his head skewered on the record-player turntable, spinning around and around, a Breakfast Burger stuffed in his mouth . . . Just the other day I was describing him as Duracell family meets Enzyte Bob. Creepy indeed! ---
**Author:** ![PetW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@PetW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PetW)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/25 "2004-10-03T08:25:41Z")
I thought it was the best fast food commercial I had ever seen. I guess the reason I thought it was so funny was because I had no idea what the commercial was for until it said “Wake up with the King.” ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/26 "2004-10-03T09:29:28Z")
> [@NDP](#): > > Does anyone even remember the first set of commercials from the 70’s featuring the “Burger King” character? The Burger King was a combination fast-food monarch/magician who was obviously BK’s answer to McDonald’s long-running Ronald McDonald/McDonaldland campaign. (He even had a nemesis named The Duke of Doubt.) However, as I recall, the Burger King was not as successful as attracting the kid market as Ronald and the character was dropped after a couple years. Now, in an attempt to appeal to Gen-X consumers with _very_ good memories of obscure pop culture ad icons, BK’s brought back the King for this series of irony-tinged commercials for its breakfast menu. However, as Eve points out, the fact that public reaction to the ads frequently feature the word “creepy” should tell you something about the ads apparent lack of success. > > Incidentally, I’ve noticed in one of the commercials that the King and schlub quickly recoil in panic after realizing that one of the pats seems to go on too long. Did you guys know that McDonald’s was successfully sued by the makers of H.R. Pufnstuf? [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a990827.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a990827.html) ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/27 "2004-10-03T14:16:44Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Henry VIII is the last person in the world I’d want a one-night stand with. You feel used in the morning, and then he has you beheaded. Catherine of Aragon - divorced Anne Boleyn - executed [french swordsman type, not big axe] Jane Seymore - died, complications after childbirth Anne of Cleves - divorced Katheryn Howard - executed Katherine Parr - widowed ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/28 "2004-10-03T14:24:43Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > Catherine of Aragon - divorced > Anne Boleyn - executed [french swordsman type, not big axe] > Jane Seymore - died, complications after childbirth > Anne of Cleves - divorced > Katheryn Howard - executed > Katherine Parr - widowed Schlub he woke up with - horribly murdered, head skewered on record-player turntable ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/29 "2004-10-03T15:00:58Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > “I swear to God, I will NEVER super-size again!” Pttt!!! OK, now _that_ was funny!!! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Roboto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@Mr.Roboto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Roboto)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/30 "2004-10-03T15:34:13Z")
I woke up once with a chick who looked like that once! ``` The Sardonic grin and that shellacked face.... I'm sorry,I'll never do that again! ( what was I drinkin'?) ``` ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/31 "2004-10-03T15:36:09Z")
> [@Mr. Roboto](#): > > I woke up once with a chick who looked like that once! :eek: You slept with Tammy Faye!!! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/32 "2004-10-03T16:43:43Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > Catherine of Aragon - divorced > Anne Boleyn - executed [french swordsman type, not big axe] > Jane Seymore - died, complications after childbirth > Anne of Cleves - divorced > Katheryn Howard - executed > Katherine Parr - widowed Listen, when you’re making a joke you sometimes have to sacrifice historical accuracy to get to the punchline. Given his 1/3 divorce rate and 1/3 execution rate, plus his obesity, I think anybody would be wise to stay away from the guy all the same. ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/33 "2004-10-03T17:34:11Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > The Levi’s commercial with the store dummy following the guy home is the creepiest mutherfucking commercial ever. No, the creepiest is that Juicy Fruit ad with the CPR dummy. That thing gives me the willies. Which is all probably a sign that animated plastic homunculi are a bad idea in commercials. That said, the “Wake Up With the King” ads, despite being decidedly unsettling, amuse me nevertheless, in that “That is _so_ freaky” way… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/34 "2004-10-03T17:41:10Z")
The voice-over for it is just as bizarre: \*Eggs, and meat and cheese…and meat…and cheese…" \* Maybe the “King” was looming threateningly over the voice-over guy too, making him fumble his lines and just ad-lib out of sheer terror. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/35 "2004-10-03T19:01:13Z")
I think that the next ad should feature the King, waking up with the King. The Mr Sardonicus Burger King sits up and gently taps the lump in the sheets. The sheets are thrown back to reveal, Zombie Elvis. He sits up, leaving bits of green skin on the bed. Zombie Elvis turns empty, sunket sockets toward the shivering Burger King. “Mughhg! Nuuugh! Ahem. Hech. Hem. Thar. Thass Better. Y’all got any bacon?” The Burger King slowly, and shakily brings out a breakfast sandwich. “Thinkyew. Thinkyew very much.” Zombie Elvis takes huge bites. Strangely, he keeps looking at Burger King’s hands as he eats. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/36 "2004-10-03T19:02:50Z")
According to Burger King’s site (they still have not had the nerve to post even an image of the Creepy King), what the schlub was handed was a “CROISSAN’WICH® with sizzling sausage, egg and melted American cheese. It’s everything you need to get you going.” Everything you need to projectile vomit, after wolfing it down in sheer terror, five seconds after waking up and finding yourself confronted by a Plasticine Golem in bed with you. Who the hell could eat that first thing in the morning even under normal circumstances?! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/37 "2004-10-03T19:10:29Z")
Hmph! Next you’ll be telling me you don’t want to eat those eggs-sausage-and-cheese breakfast Hot Pockets. Phillistine. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/38 "2004-10-03T19:15:55Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > According to Burger King’s site (they still have not had the nerve to post even an image of the Creepy King), what the schlub was handed was a “CROISSAN’WICH® with sizzling sausage, egg and melted American cheese. It’s everything you need to get you going.” > > Everything you need to projectile vomit, after wolfing it down in sheer terror, five seconds after waking up and finding yourself confronted by a Plasticine Golem in bed with you. Who the hell could eat that first thing in the morning even under normal circumstances?! I hope it’s not real cheese, but that stuff from the can! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/39 "2004-10-03T19:47:27Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > According to Burger King’s site (they still have not had the nerve to post even an image of the Creepy King), what the schlub was handed was a “CROISSAN’WICH® with sizzling sausage, egg and melted American cheese. It’s everything you need to get you going.” > > Everything you need to projectile vomit, after wolfing it down in sheer terror, five seconds after waking up and finding yourself confronted by a Plasticine Golem in bed with you. Who the hell could eat that first thing in the morning even under normal circumstances?! Hot Sausage!!! Getcher Hot Sausage Here!!! Inna Bun!!! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/40 "2004-10-03T19:49:03Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > Hot Sausage!!! Getcher Hot Sausage Here!!! And Other Rejected Pickup Lines… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245.md?page=3)