# "Wake Up with the King"--AAAHHHHHHH! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 2, 2004, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245 "2004-10-02T23:07:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/41 "2004-10-03T21:26:54Z")
Have noticed that the last 3 times that commercial was shown, no physical contact between the waker-upper and Plasto-King. Has Burger King gotten THAT much negative feedback on this mildly creepy bit of Americana? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/42 "2004-10-03T21:32:21Z")
> [@quiltguy154](#): > > Have noticed that the last 3 times that commercial was shown, no physical contact between the waker-upper and Plasto-King. Has Burger King gotten THAT much negative feedback on this mildly creepy bit of Americana? Just saw the ad again about an hour or so ago, and it hadn’t been clipped at all. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/43 "2004-10-03T21:38:13Z")
I just saw that again last night and commented to the person I was with how creepy it was. I also thought I remembered seeing a thread about creepy commercials so I made a mental note to myself to remember to post that and I came here today and see a whole thread dedicated to it. Sometimes I would like to be able to ask people responsible for these ads what the hell they were thinking … or smoking. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/44 "2004-10-03T22:02:34Z")
> [@Wile E](#): > > Sometimes I would like to be able to ask people responsible for these ads what the hell they were thinking … or smoking. They don’t call it “special” sauce for nothin’. ---
**Author:** ![ltfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@ltfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ltfire)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/45 "2004-10-04T00:36:58Z")
Ya know…the king seems to be a man from the neck down. It’s a full head piece or mask he’s wearing. So, I’m thinking that it’s the pervert from down the hall, who somehow got into the house, creeped through the rooms and silently slipped into the man’s bed. In my world, the self defence claim…well, I’d worry about that later. ---
**Author:** ![PetW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@PetW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PetW)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/46 "2004-10-04T02:40:38Z")
Here’s a short clip, which is nowhere near as great as the longer version [http://studentweb.stcloudstate.edu/gumi0301/Vids/bk.mpg](http://studentweb.stcloudstate.edu/gumi0301/Vids/bk.mpg) ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/47 "2004-10-04T07:06:15Z")
> [@Greywolf73](#): > > The voice-over for it is just as bizarre: \*Eggs, and meat and cheese…and meat…and cheese…" \* Maybe the “King” was looming threateningly over the voice-over guy too, making him fumble his lines and just ad-lib out of sheer terror. I thought the “Egg and meat and cheese…” was supposed to be the King’s voice. Eve, the “Plasticine Golem” phrase was worthy of Dennis Miller when he was at his prime. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/48 "2004-10-04T07:26:18Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Yeah, the whole rictus-grinning plastic mask thing gives it a _Halloween/Friday the 13th_ vibe. You get the feeling that three days later, when the schlub has failed to show up for work, the police break in to find his head skewered on the record-player turntable, spinning around and around, a Breakfast Burger stuffed in his mouth . . . …and he’s wearing one of those tacky paper crowns they give to kids at the restaurant. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/49 "2004-10-04T07:27:21Z")
Oh, and also: In a perfect universe, Plasticene Golem would have been the title to a Velvet Underground album. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/50 "2004-10-04T07:42:51Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > Eve, the “Plasticine Golem” phrase was worthy of Dennis Miller when he was at his prime. Now, I don’t want to get Eve off on a rant here… Who am I kidding? That’s exactly what I want! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/51 "2004-10-04T08:02:33Z")
I don’t think it’s that creepy. Then again, a lot of people on this board that got bent out of shape over the Asimo ads, so some guy in a mask probably isn’t too far away. Perhaps this take on it will settle you a little: Imagine some poor PR shlub who picked the short straw. “You gotta wear this mask, dress in a King Louis costume, and give that guy the new Crossanwich when he wakes up.” It’s a crappy job, and he knows it. So he sits in the man’s bed, just waiting. Waiting for this complete stranger to wake up so he can give him the damn sandwich and collect his check - minus costume cleaning, because seven layers of ruffles and a full-head plastic face covering are terribly stifling. Not to mention the codpiece. Finally, the dude wakes up. He’s the perfect BK customer, now that the King thinks about it. Here the room’s already fully lit by daylight and the target’s just waking up. What a lazy bastard, this kid who’ll drive out to a fast food joint to pick up breakfast instead of eating a bowl of cereal or a Pop-Tart at home. Wait - how long has the King been thinking about it? He’s just been staring at the guy for how long now? Oh Crap, the Crossanwich! Where’s the fricking Crosannwich?! He holds up a finger - “hold on, I had something to show you, I’m not here to steal your teeth, please please don’t call the cops and make me get a mugshot dressed like this” - and finds the Crossanwich, still steaming from its radiation bath, right where he put it on the nightstand. Surprisingly, the Target doesn’t mind being offered food from someone who snuck into his bedroom. Egg and meat (sausage) and cheese and meat (bacon) and cheese (more cheese)… It… It isn’t awful? The target likes it! Oh thank god! The King laughs, tilting back his torso because he has no mobility in his neck thanks to the ruff. The guy laughs along, because he obviously doesn’t know what’s going on but likes free meals. The King reaches out in camraderie - we survived this ordeal, buddy - and pats the target amiably. The Target looks down awkwardly. The King looks down to see his hand on the Target’s upper thigh. Ah, jeez. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/52 "2004-10-04T12:58:57Z")
You made me laugh at 9:00 a.m., quite the qccomplishment. ---
**Author:** ![todd33rpm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@todd33rpm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/todd33rpm)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/53 "2004-10-04T13:02:25Z")
I love **BraheSilver** ’s post…especially “hold on, I had something to show you, I’m not here to steal your teeth…” Which I think goes to the heart of this commercial. It’s good old-fashioned nightmare juice. Ask **bodypoet** , she’ll tell you I can’t _shut up_ about how disturbed I am by this commercial. Seeing that character’s head with that smile would have me reaching under the blankets to see if I still had my liver. Ewww…just ewww… ---
**Author:** ![Kaspar\_Hauser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b3f665/32.png) [@Kaspar\_Hauser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaspar_Hauser)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/54 "2004-10-04T17:26:57Z")
I hate the vast majority of commercials, but I love this one. I saw it about eighteen hundred times when I was watching that Spike CSI marathon a few weeks ago. I think the ‘bad touch’ version only plays on certain channels or at certain times. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/55 "2004-10-04T17:44:23Z")
> [@tracer](#): > > Hmph! Next you’ll be telling me you don’t want to eat those eggs-sausage-and-cheese breakfast Hot Pockets. Phillistine. Everybody knows the Phillistines only breakfast with steak, onions, peppers and cheese, served hot on a roll. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/56 "2004-10-04T17:54:05Z")
I’m ok with the commercial, but I had to pipe in and say I can’t believe someone doesn’t like Mr. Rogers! The guy was a f’n saint! ---
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/57 "2004-10-04T18:27:11Z")
Thought that commercial was hilarious from the first time I saw it. The way the King kind of awkwardly tries to avoid scaring the guy or giving him a gay vibe is brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/58 "2004-10-04T19:32:46Z")
It’s like a bad nightmare after a losing night of poker. The fucking King of Hearts is in my bed trying to force feed me junk food after boning me up the ass the night before. Haj ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/59 "2004-10-04T21:19:01Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > I can’t believe someone doesn’t like Mr. Rogers! The guy was a f’n saint! You kidding me? I’d rather meet a shark riding on an elephant’s back in a dark alley than Mr. Rogers and his creepy fucking peepee toucher puppets. “Hi there little boy, won’t you be my neighbor?” ---
**Author:** ![Psychodispotic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@Psychodispotic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psychodispotic)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/60 "2004-10-04T21:51:40Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > You kidding me? I’d rather meet a shark riding on an elephant’s back in a dark alley than Mr. Rogers and his creepy fucking peepee toucher puppets. > > “Hi there little boy, won’t you be my neighbor?” Fred Rogers was, amazingly, the brainchild of corporate America telecast to instill passivity into the youngest of our society, preparing them to be proper drones of the public school system, in turn giving them _just_ enough knowledge to feel _just_ good enough about themselves so the can get by placidly and without any greater demands on society than crappy cable television and fast food breakfasts delivered to them by slightly gay rejects from the H.R. Puff’N’Stuff cult. No wonder the freak is still on - He Feeds The Need [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245.md?page=4)