# "Wake Up with the King"--AAAHHHHHHH! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 2, 2004, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245 "2004-10-02T23:07:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/61 "2004-10-04T21:59:05Z")
> [@Psychodispotic](#): > > Fred Rogers was, amazingly, the brainchild of corporate America telecast to instill passivity into the youngest of our society, preparing them to be proper drones of the public school system, in turn giving them _just_ enough knowledge to feel _just_ good enough about themselves so the can get by placidly and without any greater demands on society than crappy cable television and fast food breakfasts delivered to them by slightly gay rejects from the H.R. Puff’N’Stuff cult. No wonder the freak is still on - He Feeds The Need Geez, did your Ritalin prescription run out? ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/62 "2004-10-04T22:00:34Z")
> [@Psychodispotic](#): > > Fred Rogers was, amazingly, the brainchild of corporate America telecast to instill passivity into the youngest of our society, preparing them to be proper drones of the public school system, in turn giving them _just_ enough knowledge to feel _just_ good enough about themselves so the can get by placidly and without any greater demands on society than crappy cable television and fast food breakfasts delivered to them by slightly gay rejects from the H.R. Puff’N’Stuff cult. No wonder the freak is still on - He Feeds The Need Funniest.post.ever. ---
**Author:** ![Psychodispotic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@Psychodispotic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psychodispotic)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/63 "2004-10-04T22:22:09Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > Geez, did your Ritalin prescription run out? Ahhhh - you make me feel right at home; and on my natal post, no less. Thanks for the reply. I just may have found a new place to call home 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/64 "2004-10-04T22:23:17Z")
> [@Psychodispotic](#): > > Fred Rogers was, amazingly, the brainchild of corporate America telecast to instill passivity into the youngest of our society, preparing them to be proper drones of the public school system, in turn giving them _just_ enough knowledge to feel _just_ good enough about themselves so the can get by placidly and without any greater demands on society than crappy cable television and fast food breakfasts delivered to them by slightly gay rejects from the H.R. Puff’N’Stuff cult. No wonder the freak is still on - He Feeds The Need Let me know if you can’t afford the subscription fee. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/65 "2004-10-04T22:26:33Z")
> [@Psychodispotic](#): > > Ahhhh - you make me feel right at home; and on my natal post, no less. Thanks for the reply. I just may have found a new place to call home 🆒 Uhhhh…you’re welcome? ---
**Author:** ![DirkGntly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DirkGntly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirkGntly)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/66 "2004-10-05T00:35:42Z")
Someone posted something along the lines of “unapologetically displaying their styrofoam containers…” I _miss_ the little styrofoam boxes! My Big Macs and Whoppers were BETTER when they were encased in non-biodegradable waste-fillers! (Seriously, the cardboard containers get greasy…oh, well) As for the OP - yeah, the first time I saw it, I was like, “the HELL???” but now, just kinda “meh”… ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/67 "2004-10-05T01:33:08Z")
That was me! The planet, meh. Those things were cool. And they didn’t squish right away or get greasy. And they came in psychedelic colors with funky fat early 70s flower power calligraphy. Sigh. I remember a bunch of guys cutting up some packets that had the big words “with cheese” and hanging them around the locker of a guy who had a…uhm…digestive problem sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/68 "2004-10-05T01:43:02Z")
The first time I saw the commercial I literally screamed at the TV. ARRGH then “What are they thinking? That’s gonna scare the shit out of everybody.” That’s the stuff of which nightmares are made. Come on admit it. The next time you wake up and the room is flooded with light you’re gonna be looking around for **him** aren’t ya? ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/69 "2004-10-05T01:44:30Z")
> [@BraheSilver](#): > > Wait - how long has the King been thinking about it? He’s just been staring at the guy for how long now? Oh Crap, the Crossanwich! Where’s the fricking Crosannwich?! He holds up a finger - "hold on, I had something to show you… > \ > The King laughs, tilting back his torso because he has no mobility in his neck thanks to the ruff. The guy laughs along, because he obviously doesn’t know what’s going on but likes free meals. The King reaches out in camraderie - we survived this ordeal, buddy - and pats the target amiably. The Target looks down awkwardly. The King looks down to see his hand on the Target’s upper thigh. Ah, jeez. OK, at this point, tears are running down my face. Damn, this was a good thread. ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/70 "2004-10-05T01:53:51Z")
Plasticene golem creates plastinated goyim! News at 11! Sorry. That made no sense at all, but I just had to say it. I’m thinking that the guy behind “Submissive Chicken” had something to do with this ad. ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/71 "2004-10-05T13:58:11Z")
I just went to the BK website and saw what the King looks like. Now that’s a face to wake up to. I just wish I could get the last link to work. I wanna see it! ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/72 "2004-10-05T14:58:26Z")
You think the Burger King looks like a child molester? Check out the old Ronald McDonald: [www.collegehumor.com/?movie\_id=69895](http://www.collegehumor.com/?movie_id=69895) ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/73 "2004-10-05T15:09:03Z")
I’m lost here. Which episode of **Oz** are we talking about. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/74 "2004-10-05T15:21:40Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > You think the Burger King looks like a child molester? > Check out the old Ronald McDonald: > > [www.collegehumor.com/?movie\_id=69895](http://www.collegehumor.com/?movie_id=69895) Good Lord, he WAS a child molester! Geez, that gave me the creeps. ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/75 "2004-10-05T15:29:45Z")
HAHAHAHA! That clip was funny. In a painfully embarassing way… god I’m old… I remember those ads… ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2004, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/76 "2004-10-05T16:25:34Z")
Never has the phrase “uncanny valley” been so appropriate. I saw the commercial once. I thought it was just a nightmare. Now I realize it was real. thanks a lot, guys. \ ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/77 "2004-10-13T00:42:41Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > You think the Burger King looks like a child molester? > Check out the old Ronald McDonald: > > [www.collegehumor.com/?movie\_id=69895](http://www.collegehumor.com/?movie_id=69895) You mean Ronald didn’t originally have red hair, and his nose was a _paper cup?!_ ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/78 "2004-10-13T01:11:49Z")
I was doing some mother/daughter TV bonding – watching one of those cautionary, purient A&E crime shows about serial rape when I saw it for the first time. I was so shocked and horrified that I think I actually screamed. Kid’s goning to put me in a home. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/79 "2004-10-13T01:17:38Z")
…a _nice_ home where they have spell checkers and stuff. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245/80 "2004-10-13T01:20:05Z")
Lookie what just found: [http://www.kerp.net/cronjob/cron21.html](http://www.kerp.net/cronjob/cron21.html) “Of course, all the McDonaldland characters were much better than those freaky Burger King ones. You had The Burger King who, naturally, had magical powers, and his fast-food-arch-nemesis, the Duke of Doubt, who went around doubting Burger King’s abilities. To be honest, I never really understood why the Duke was supposed to be the bad guy here. If some guy in a crown came up to me and told me a) He was the king of all burgers, and b) He could use his magic powers to make a school bus float, I’d be a little skeptical myself. (I mean, c’mon – we all know burgers live in a Democratic society.)” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wake-up-with-the-king-aaahhhhhhh/267245.md?page=5)