# ". . . walks into a bar."
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [July 22, 2013, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170 "2013-07-22T06:43:18Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2013, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170/21 "2013-07-23T05:54:19Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#):
>
> From Joe Miller’s Joke Book (1739):
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > XXVII. — THREE CAUSES.
> > THREE gentlemen being in a coffee-house, one called for a dram, because he was hot. “Bring me another,” says his companion, “because I am cold.” The third, who sat by and heard them, very quietly called out, “Here, boy, bring me a glass, because I like it.”
>
> Okay, it’s not a bar, but it follows the basic format.
Just to get back on track a little, it’s worth noting that Miller’s jokes were mostly not at all original. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see the same sort of joke in ancient Greek or Roman texts.
For that matter, I’d expect to see stories like that in any culture that has any kind of informal social gathering place.
---
### Author:  [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2013, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170/22 "2013-07-23T11:58:44Z")
> [@Alley\_Dweller](#):
>
> Was it the minister’s day off?
It would be taxonomically illogical to add a minister. Then, to be consistent, you’d have to include both a Shiite imam and a Sunni imam, as well as both an Orthodox rabbi and a Reform rabbi.
(Man, are we running this joke, or what?)
---
### Author:  [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2013, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170/23 "2013-07-23T12:21:52Z")
> [@rjk](#):
>
> Just to get back on track a little, it’s worth noting that Miller’s jokes were mostly not at all original. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see the same sort of joke in ancient Greek or Roman texts.
>
> For that matter, I’d expect to see stories like that in any culture that has any kind of informal social gathering place.
Well, I did check out Bracciolini’s _Facetiae_ (1470), but didn’t find any there. There may indeed by a “a man walks into the public baths” joke from antiquity.
---
### Author:  [@ChickenLegs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChickenLegs)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2013, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170/24 "2013-07-23T12:26:01Z")
A three-legged dog walks into a bar.
“I’m looking for the man that shot my pa.”
---
### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2013, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170/25 "2013-07-23T14:22:53Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#):
>
> It would be taxonomically illogical to add a minister. Then, to be consistent, you’d have to include both a Shiite imam and a Sunni imam, as well as both an Orthodox rabbi and a Reform rabbi.
>
> (Man, are we running this joke, or what?)
To analyze a joke is to kill it.
---
### Author:  [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2013, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170/26 "2013-07-23T14:43:29Z")
A zombie walks into a bar then attacks a woman sitting on a stool in the corner.
The bartender yells " Hey get out!", we don’t serve your type here! "
Why? A zombie can’t get a drink around here?"
“No, zombies are OK, bot not drug addicts, that the Barbituate!”
---
### Author:  [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2013, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170/27 "2013-07-23T14:45:06Z")
On the 8th day, God walks into a bar…
---
### Author:  [@lawbuff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawbuff)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2013, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170/28 "2013-07-23T14:46:51Z")
A Skeleton walked in a bar and said “Give me a beer and a mop”!
---
### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2013, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170/29 "2013-07-23T14:49:54Z")
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply.
The first man then asks, “Where are you from?”
“I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man.
The first man responds, “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s have another round to Ireland.”
“Of course,” replies the second man.
“I’m curious,” the first man then asks, “Where in Ireland are you from?”
“Dublin,” comes the reply.
“I can’t believe it,” says the first man. “I’m from Dublin too! Let’s have another drink to Dublin.”
“Of course,” replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks, “What school did you go to?”
“Saint Mary’s,” replies the second man, “I graduated in '62.”
“This is unbelievable!”, the first man says. “I went to Saint Mary’s and I graduated in '62, too!”
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. “What’s been going on?” he asks the bartender.
“Nothing much,” replies the bartender. “The O’Kinly twins are drunk again.”
---
### Author:  [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2013, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170/30 "2013-07-23T14:52:14Z")
I’ve always liked this bit of throwaway from a Brian Daley novel: a bar sign reading
LOWER LIFEFORMS SERVED
What’ll You Have?
---
### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2013, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170/31 "2013-07-23T15:08:30Z")
This thread has inspired me to start [a contest to create an _original_ “Man walks into a bar” joke.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=16503399#post16503399)
---
### Author:  [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2013, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170/32 "2013-07-23T15:08:40Z")
A sandwich walks in to a bar…
bartender says, “sorry pal we don’t serve food here.”
---
### Author:  [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2013, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170/33 "2013-07-23T15:25:00Z")
I believe it went like this:
“In 1760, D. Boon walked into a Bar and cilled it.”
---
### Author:  [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2013, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170/34 "2013-07-23T15:43:21Z")
“Free Beer Tomorrow”
---
### Author:  [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2013, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170/35 "2013-07-24T00:12:53Z")
Newspaper column from 1956–
"Kangaroo walks into a bar and orders a martini. Bartender serves him. Kangaroo drinks it, pulls out a $5.00 bill. Bartender charges him $1.50 for the drink and gives change. Kangaroo gets up to leave.
Bartender tells customer on next stool–I’ve never had a kangaroo in here before, Kangaroo overhears this, turns and says—“at those prices, you won’t ever again.”
Adding to my info---------I think this form of the joke was invented by stand-up comics in the early 1950’s–their heyday.
---
### Author:  [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2013, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170/36 "2013-07-24T10:33:45Z")
A masochist marries a sadist
On the wedding night, the masochist says “Hit me, Hit me.”
And the sadist says, “No.”
---
### Author:  [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2013, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170/37 "2013-07-24T11:44:25Z")
> [@samclem](#):
>
> Newspaper column from 1956–
>
> "Kangaroo walks into a bar and orders a martini. Bartender serves him. Kangaroo drinks it, pulls out a $5.00 bill. Bartender charges him $1.50 for the drink and gives change. Kangaroo gets up to leave.
>
> Bartender tells customer on next stool–I’ve never had a kangaroo in here before, Kangaroo overhears this, turns and says—“at those prices, you won’t ever again.”
>
> Adding to my info---------I think this form of the joke was invented by stand-up comics in the early 1950’s–their heyday.
AAaawww inflation… makes me miss the good ol’ days.
---
### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2013, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170/38 "2013-07-24T13:29:57Z")
Hard to beat _The Far Side_: [http://www.sunshineoctopus.ca/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/3wiseguys.jpg](http://www.sunshineoctopus.ca/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/3wiseguys.jpg)
---
### Author:  [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2013, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170/39 "2013-07-24T14:55:12Z")
Former US President George W. Bush walks into a bar.
Ow!
---
### Author:  [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2013, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170/40 "2013-07-24T15:38:35Z")
A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.” “Why not? I’m a fungi.”
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170.md?page=1)
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/walks-into-a-bar/664170.md?page=3)