I normally avoid Walmart like the plague, but a few months ago Mrs. Giraffe wanted a hula hoop, and we couldn’t think of any place else that was open that might have one. Off we went. It was truly like entering another dimension. I saw many of the denizens described by Scylla, but the worst was the Abandoned Children. These are the kids whose parents have decided to make a weekend out of their trip to Walmart, or perhaps kids whose parents have realized they can be halfway to Nevada before anyone notices they’re gone. The Abandoned Children run through the store in packs, and spend hours playing on the floor of the toy section. It scares me to think that there are people for whom going to Walmart is an evening (weekend?) out with the kids.
Or perhaps Walmart has started breeding new employees themselves, so as to expand their ranks ever faster. Scary.
Around here it’s a choice between WalMart and Meijer. (There’s Kroger-The Magic Elf Card People, but I hate them.) They’re both pretty much the same. I go to whichever is closer usually. Sometimes I’ll need a specific item that only one of them carries but mostly it’s a coin toss.
We’ve got a Walmart and a Target in my town, within a few miles of eachother. It may be where I live, but they’re of equal quality, IMHO, which is suprising since I’m a Target girl through and through, and would jump on the chance to bash Walmart. I won’t shop there anyways, after hearing about all of the awful treatment of their employees.
What is this “shop at Walmart at 1:00am” of which you speak? Our local one closes at 9, I think, as does our Target. Of course, this entire town shuts down at 9:00 pm, so that’s not suprising.
And I_Dig_Bad_Boys, I’d rather kill time at Home Depot, you could run around all of the kitchen and living room “set up’s” and pretend that you live there! Not that I’ve ever done that…
I have nothing against people, really. I’m actually quite social. But, for some reason, Walmarts scare the living hoo-hah out of me. People do act weird there. Guys stare. Women stare. If they’re not staring straight into your pupils, they’re avoiding your gaze like the plague. Not sure why people act so weird there. My mother says it’s my imagination, so it’s quite refreshing to hear from others that it is indeed NOT just my imagination. And a bloody good rant, as well. Maybe Walmart is proof of the twilight zone. Or maybe they’re what make the universe expand. I certainly can understand… I’d be trying to get away as well.
I was once run down by a small child riding a Big Wheel. I thought at first that he had liberated it from the toy department. Then I looked closer. It was beat up and dirty, leaving me to conclude that someone had actually BROUGHT the Big Wheel to the Wal-Mart for the child to ride.
There’s a Wal-Mart and a Target right across the street from each other here. Strangely enough, sometimes I will go to the Wal-Mart instead of the Target, and I have no idea why?
You know, I worked for Wal-Fart for over a year. Now, maybe it’s my part of the country or something, but I never really had a bad experience with the company. All the people I ever dealt with as far as employees and supervisors go were pretty good. The pay blew, but benefits were pretty decent, especially for long-term employees. Like I said, though, maybe that’s my part of the country.
As far as that rant goes (hilarious, by the way), it describes just about ever Wal-Fart ever. And if you think having to shop there is bad, imagine being confined there for 8 HOURS A DAY. Those people don’t only get there when you do. They’re there all the time. We should have gotten paid extra for having to run a damn obsticle course as part of our daily routine. We had to find the parents of those Abandoned Children (who we caught trying to stick small toys in their pockets because their parents weren’t around). It was just plain ugly. I worked in the shoe department, where all the ghetto immigrants (I’m not even being racist, the majority of my customers were immigrants!) would try shoes on their kids, let the kids run around, get the shoes dirty, and throw them on the ground. People are lame. If you guys want some more stories, I’ve got them…lots of them…I’ve had experience with all the people that you guys have…and have no problem talking about it!
One day for no good reason I ended up shopping for groceries at Wally World. In the meat department…These steaks look good, I thought. Nice and pink, very attractive.
Go home and cook them. Mrs. S, “Do these taste odd to you?”
“Yes”, I said. “Kind of salty”.
I dug the wrapper out of the trashcan. Printed in very small type at the top of the label was “Contains a 10 per cent solution”.
Almost makes you want to start smoking again, huh?
Our SuperStores are great, but the Neighborhood Markets? Another story.
SuperStores are open 24-7 here. Middle of the night shopping does increase risks.
The secret is to go in armed and ready for anything.
First and foremost is the WalMart Walk™. Get it down pat, and NObody will get in your way.
Greeters? The ones I know, I visit with, others I just give a big ‘Howya doin?’, and breeze on through.
The Look. Variations of same can wither the snottiest little kids, worst leches, and groups of gossipy aisle hogging women.
NEVER move over when meeting groups of people walking abreast. Especially giggly girls, or smart ass college guys. At worst, they’ll bump into you, and (yes, they will) apologise.
Can’t find something? Grab ANYbody with a blue vest, even if you have to go 3 departments over. Don’t let them out of your sight until you get what you want, or they too, will disappear.
Checkout people. Try to discern if they are just learning, or totally clueless. Treat accordingly.
Cart guys. Honk. The Look. A wave, as in ‘Move’. If all else fails, act like you’re going to run over them. Ignore vile comments, unless you’re really feeling froggy.
An “enhancement” solution to make the meat more juicy I believe. Don’t blame WalMart for that one. I can’t find a stinking unenhanced chicken or chop in this town. Just the mutant meat.
I hate wal-mart. At first I hated them for what they do to the communities they occupy. When one was slated to open near me my backward ass, dirt munching, cousin marrying neighbor was so thrilled. “Oh think of the jobs they will bring” What Jobs? a bunch of crappy, part time, no benifit, non-union, minunum wage jobs. So I decided I would boycott them and never set foot inside. After a few years, I guess my boycott did’nt shut them down, my wife suggested I should go with her just to check it out. So I went. It was just as bad as I thought it would be. First we enter the building after making our way across the parking lot full of monster trucks with the obligatory stickers of Calvin pissing on something. We are greeted by some old codger at the door. We walk through housewares, looking for vacum cleaner bags. We accost some guy in a blue vest and ask him where they might be and we got the standard wal-mart reply " I dont work in this department". After much searching we find them and all that remains is to work our way through the throng of other wal-mart shoppers, let me describe them. The typical shopping unit is a family; the dad, Mark is about 6’2" 320 with two days growth of beard he is wearinga baseball cap, burmuda shorts, in spite of the fact that it is January, High top basketball shoes and a starter jacket over his t shirt with the cartoon figure Taz just about leaping off the fabric. He has his wife Donna with him. White shorts that fit a few years ago, bleached blonde hair with dark roots and a tight, striped sweater that does not come all the way down to the shorts so we can se her stretch marks that came from having Travis. Travis is about 10 years old, dressed like dad but with red hair with a mullet, he looks like the worlds smallest lesbian. When children are playing in the balls at Mcdonalds and travis shows up mothers get their children out of there because they know that someone will soon be crying and it isnt going to be Travis. We get through the checkout, the cashier expressing a dislike for her both job and the hangover she is currently suffering, and get back in our car. As we pull out we see Mark, Donna and Travis door ding the care next to them as the load ther bags of Little Debbie snack cakes and mountain dew into their camaro with the red number three and a halo stuck to the rear window. It was all I could have hoped for.
I worked for Wal-Mart for nearly three years. I started off in Paradise, and somehow, left when it turned to Hell.
There is a SuperCenter in Mesa, Arizona. It’s on Stapley Drive. Busy as hell, constantly, but…IT’S CLEAN. IT’S WELL LIT. IT’S OPEN AND WIDE AND SPACIOUS AND GODDAMN, I LOVE THAT PLACE.
I went in February (to get married) and I, the new Mr Wolf, and the Baby Brother went to that store. It was still clean and well lit and spacious and open and I missed it!
When I left Arizona, I just transferred to the one here in Portland - the one over on 82nd and Holgate.
I got fired seven months later, and I returned only the next day to get my severance check. Haven’t been back since.
But what made it the Pit of Despair…dark, dank, dirty, poorly lit, crowded…just downright disgusting. On the SECOND DAY THERE…the SECOND BLOODY DAY…I was swearing up and down I was going to quit.
Then I got fired for the most idiotic thing ever, and while I moped for a bit (I was fired?! I’ve never been fired before!), I’m now a much happier Doper.
What ** elf6c ** and G-RAY said. I can’t stand walmart and refuse to shop there for pretty much the same reasons they stated. Walmart is an abomination on the retail landscape and is anathema to my desires as a consumer.
I love you. 