# Want a BIG penis? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 26, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-a-big-penis/164334 "2003-03-26T17:37:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-a-big-penis/164334/21 "2003-03-27T01:54:58Z")
**catsix** - Some perversions are covered over with a decent silence. Even on the SDMB. Consider yourself rebuked. Regards, Shodan Laundry! Ewwwww! ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-a-big-penis/164334/22 "2003-03-27T02:35:31Z")
Uh, woops? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-a-big-penis/164334/23 "2003-03-27T02:52:01Z")
Out of curiosity what is the difference between a _butch_ penis and a non-butch penis? Does the butch penis own a chain saw, a pickup truck and all of Tracy Chapman’s albums? ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-a-big-penis/164334/24 "2003-03-27T02:53:38Z")
No, it’s K D Lang’s albums. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-a-big-penis/164334/25 "2003-03-27T03:11:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by slortar \* > \*\*I think it’d be cooler if I could grow several more penises, instead of make my current one longer. Purpose on the end of 18 foot long tentacles? \*\* You want to be a Centauri? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-a-big-penis/164334/26 "2003-03-27T03:14:10Z")
I want a smaller nose. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-a-big-penis/164334/27 "2003-03-27T03:15:50Z")
You and me both, **Lobsang**. ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-a-big-penis/164334/28 "2003-03-27T03:29:29Z")
Yeah, I’ll go ahead and go for the huge penis. While you’re at it, why don’t you fix me up with some of those enormous breasts, as well? Then you can sell me one of those little X-10 cameras and I, too, will be able to work from home! ---
**Author:** ![stockton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5a626/32.png) [@stockton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stockton)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-a-big-penis/164334/29 "2003-03-27T03:45:02Z")
Can anyone help me find some Viagra, phenteramine and steroids? And some help with my mortgage? And GOLF BALLS, dammit I need GOLF BALLS!!! Fucko off! My dick is bigger than SPOOFE’s, and is currently supporting a major railroad trestle around the corner from the house. Unfortunately, my colossal boobs are keeping me housebound… and I’m a dude. The horny nympho teens have NOT shown up yet. Upon preview: Ringo beat me to everything. I won’t bother blasting those fucking X-10 popups. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-a-big-penis/164334/30 "2003-03-27T07:52:30Z")
Darn it, **catsix** stole my joke! 🙂 Can I have what she’s having? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-a-big-penis/164334/31 "2003-03-27T13:44:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\*On a whim, I once decided to respond to all the “Increase your penis size!” E-mails, all at once, and tried all their products. > > My penis is now thirty-four feet long. \*\* … and deep too! ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-a-big-penis/164334/32 "2003-03-27T14:59:20Z")
“It’s so big you’ll need a sock to keep it warm” ---
**Author:** ![sciguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@sciguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciguy)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-a-big-penis/164334/33 "2003-03-27T23:45:11Z")
**Gawd** , now I’m reminded of the “101 Big Dick jokes” in Drew Carey’s book “Dirty Jokes and Beer” My favorites were: My dick is so big I can use it for a necktie, but I don’t because if I saw a hot chick I’d strangle myself. My dick is so big it has its own dick, and even my dick’s dick is bigger than your dick. ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-a-big-penis/164334/34 "2003-03-28T06:57:58Z")
Funny, sciguy! I was just quoting my favorite cock-enhancing spam ad LoL ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-a-big-penis/164334/35 "2003-03-28T08:56:31Z")
I don’t need a bigger penis, thank you. But I wouldn’t mind having a nice place to put this one. 😉 (Males need not apply.) Actually, I answered an ad that promised my penis would grow a foot. It did. I can’t screw anymore, but I’m a hell of a marathon runner. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-a-big-penis/164334/36 "2003-03-28T15:47:58Z")
I got one of those “Spam Buster” programs, and now my dick is about the size of an acorn!! I knew something was wrong, I’m gonna go open some spam RIGHT NOW!! ---
**Author:** ![NutWrench](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nutwrench/32/20193_2.png) [@NutWrench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutWrench)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-a-big-penis/164334/37 "2003-03-28T19:16:38Z")
_\>Want a BIG penis?_ Yes, please. 🙂 And a big piano. What? ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-a-big-penis/164334/38 "2003-03-29T07:59:40Z")
What a cock-and-bull thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-a-big-penis/164334.md?page=1)