# Want opinions on relationship

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-opinions-on-relationship/955091>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [November 28, 2021, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-opinions-on-relationship/955091 "2021-11-28T22:34:09Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 10\
**Page:** 2

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\
**Post date:** [November 29, 2021, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-opinions-on-relationship/955091/21 "2021-11-29T20:17:33Z")

</div>

Thanks for the link. The saying I love you too soon, the blaming the disease for the insults (he wasn’t insulting for the first two months) , the drug dependency (he has a medical card to buy luster pods and smokes the legal weed all the time, or he’s miserable he says) , the fact that he’s gaslighting me by saying I’ve been a bitch (then why not end it back then instead of letting me get attached) . An author once said Dating isn’t for mating, it’s for evaluating. I overlooked the evaluating. Though I’m still considering calling the Animal Place as he’s not able to take care of her properly, I don’t want him to get in trouble, but I need to be an advocate for a cat that can’t help herself. Meow! She keeps saying. I would just be quitting over verbal abuse, not getting in trouble as we didn’t have relations during work hours. If you quit, can you get unemployment? My last shift is tomorrow morning.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\
**Post date:** [November 29, 2021, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-opinions-on-relationship/955091/22 "2021-11-29T20:19:48Z")

</div>

Never have sex with the people you are working for, regardless of the profession. You should definitely quit being his paid health provider. There are plenty of jobs out there. If you do that, you could try and make the relationship work, even including taking care of the cat. Who knows, the sex might get better.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\
**Post date:** [November 29, 2021, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-opinions-on-relationship/955091/23 "2021-11-29T20:21:44Z")

</div>

Omar, I ts a bit late to make it work. Read my above post

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\
**Post date:** [November 30, 2021, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-opinions-on-relationship/955091/24 "2021-11-30T00:19:25Z")

</div>

We talked again. He still thinks I’m taking stuff. He said he doesn’t want anyone. So he had a change of heart four months ago and neglected to tell me. He says he doesn’t want to have sex with someone if they aren’t getting along. I said he’s the only guy who does that.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\
**Post date:** [November 30, 2021, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-opinions-on-relationship/955091/25 "2021-11-30T01:16:40Z")

</div>

Supposedly, I’ve been a complete bitch for four months but he has no remembrance of how, no examples. Not sure why he bought me a jacket and shoes to show he cared if I was such a bitch. Smh

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\
**Post date:** [November 30, 2021, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-opinions-on-relationship/955091/26 "2021-11-30T01:21:06Z")

</div>

Sorry you’re going through this.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\
**Post date:** [November 30, 2021, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-opinions-on-relationship/955091/27 "2021-11-30T01:48:17Z")

</div>

Me too. He may be surprised when he realizes I’ve quit tomorrow.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2021, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-opinions-on-relationship/955091/28 "2021-12-01T18:58:50Z")

</div>

I’ve talked to other neighbors and they said he always accuses his aides of stealing. I called the humane society, hopefully he’ll be awake and let them in.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\
**Post date:** [December 2, 2021, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-opinions-on-relationship/955091/29 "2021-12-02T00:27:23Z")

</div>

> [@SuntanLotion](#):
>
> I’ve talked to other neighbors and they said he always accuses his aides of stealing.

I have a theory.

We think that we’re all individual snowflakes, precious in our uniqueness, and when things happen we struggle to understand. How do we reconcile the information?

The bad news: you’re nothing special to him. He treated you like he treated lots of other people. That’s his M.O. You thought you rose to some special level but you didn’t.

The good news: you’re nothing special to him. You didn’t provoke him to be a dick, that’s just how he is\*, so you don’t need to feel bad about yourself.

\*Yeah, I know it’s more complicated than that.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\
**Post date:** [December 3, 2021, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-opinions-on-relationship/955091/30 "2021-12-03T15:46:04Z")

</div>

I feel happier. When you’re unhappy in a relationship for months, you know it’s not right. He had told me, about a month ago, that I deserved better. The bible says In an abundance of counselors there is wisdom. Who better to be objective than the Dopers?

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-opinions-on-relationship/955091.md?page=1)
