# Want To Be Jennifer Lopez's Personal Assistant? Job Opening! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 18, 2010, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647 "2010-08-18T18:45:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647/1 "2010-08-18T18:45:32Z")
Yes, there is a job opening to become J.Lo’s personal assistant! There are a few [minor details](http://scoop.newsvine.com/_news/2010/08/18/4915444-jlo-has-diva-demands-for-her-new-assistant), but otherwise, gee - what a great opportunity to ensure you don’t have a life. OK - line forms to the left… ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647/2 "2010-08-18T19:13:40Z")
What’s crazy is. . . that’s not really all that much money, considering all the things that person would have to do. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647/3 "2010-08-18T19:30:39Z")
Hell, even if you leave aside the responsibilities and focus just on the hours, it’s not very much. If you work the _minimum_ hours that she suggests (6 days/week at 12hrs/day), and assuming you get 2 weeks vacation a year, and if she pays you the _top end_ of her scale ($65,000), you’ll be making $18 an hour. ---
**Author:** ![thirdname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@thirdname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdname)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647/4 "2010-08-18T19:31:06Z")
Yeah, but the low pay could be justified if the assistant also gets to be her [personal nipple tweaker.](http://www.amyth.com/Odd/Lopez.html) ---
**Author:** ![multimediac17](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/839c29/32.png) [@multimediac17](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/multimediac17)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647/5 "2010-08-18T19:38:15Z")
> [@](#): > > qualified candidates might even get to help dress Lopez for red carpet events and photo shoots …yippee? I think a job as a personal assisstant to a celebrity as notoriously diva-like as Jennifer Lopez would be a special kind of hell, no matter how close you’d get to be to lots of stars. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647/6 "2010-08-18T20:50:37Z")
It actually sounded pretty good to me, until I read this bit: > [@](#): > > but you may not get off for weeks What would be the point, then? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647/7 "2010-08-18T21:05:32Z")
[No thank you.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=575004)😃 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647/8 "2010-08-18T21:16:24Z")
Gee, I was thinking of retiring from my gov’t job and trying something else. This certainly would be something else. A nice way to supplement my pension. Or I could just stay home and poke sharp sticks in my eyes. Decisions, decisions… ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647/9 "2010-08-18T21:16:59Z")
This whore must be on drugs. [QUOTE=The Article] It pays $55,000 to $65,000 a year [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647/10 "2010-08-18T22:59:53Z")
Yeah, cause we know from the [Has the recession created a “lost generation” of permanently unemployed?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=573955&page=4) thread that you can’t even get a qualified machinist for $18 an hour - no one would possibly work for that who wasn’t a button pusher - and she wants a six day a week, twelve hour a day assistant who can cook, change diapers, handle foreign travel, knows the fashion industry, and put up with a diva for that. $18 an hour as a machinist starts to look darn good. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647/11 "2010-08-19T00:21:37Z")
That offa sounds mighty fine Ms. Lopez but if it is all the same to you, I think I will just stay right here on this plantation. Cotton pickin’ season is right around the corner and I would never want to miss that. I may not have much but the one thing I do have is self-respect. ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647/12 "2010-08-19T02:36:45Z")
You guys are forgetting the awesome severance package. Put up with her for 6 to 12 months, then blackmail the hell out of her. Or you could just marry her, though that’s the ethically questionable option. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647/13 "2010-08-19T02:40:00Z")
To marry her, you’d have to run off her husband, Skeletor. And you know he ain’t letting go of that booty any time soon. What I want to know is- is there any anal bleaching involved? Because that’s where I draw the line. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647/14 "2010-08-19T02:50:57Z")
If I had no job and no decent prospects, I might consider it. Otherwise I’m not taking a pay cut to put up with her. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647/15 "2010-08-19T13:01:01Z")
It’s not so much the cut in pay, the long hours, and the general humiliation. It’s that I’d have to put up with shit from a baby. Oh, and I’d also have to change diapers. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647/16 "2010-08-19T13:51:16Z")
If I was young, single and in good health, I would certainly consider it. There is nothing wrong with changing diapers, and I could certainly put up with long hours and hectic demands for a year or so. I would imagine that when she travels, you travel - so she will be paying for transportation, food and lodging. You get an opportunity to meet various entertainment companies personnel and make contacts, you could take the opportunity to get hooked into a set of contacts and change to a less demanding celebrity if you do a good job and have a good reputation. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647/17 "2010-08-19T14:15:24Z")
You know, its job offers like that one that make me re-think my settings on Career Builder. “Oh, piss-boy…!” _clap-clap_ ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647/18 "2010-08-19T14:22:38Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > I would imagine that when she travels, you travel - so she will be paying for transportation, food and lodging. That’s not specifically mentioned in the job description. Considering the description as a whole, it wouldn’t surprise me much if the assistant had to not only pay his or her own fare, but J-Lo’s as well. Yes, I have had bosses who were just that entitled. ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647/19 "2010-08-19T15:19:04Z")
But you guys don’t get it . . . you’d be in SHOW BUSINESS! ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-be-jennifer-lopezs-personal-assistant-job-opening/550647/20 "2010-08-19T16:13:00Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > If I was young, single and in good health, I would certainly consider it. There is nothing wrong with changing diapers, and I could certainly put up with long hours and hectic demands for a year or so. I would imagine that when she travels, you travel - so she will be paying for transportation, food and lodging. You get an opportunity to meet various entertainment companies personnel and make contacts, you could take the opportunity to get hooked into a set of contacts and change to a less demanding celebrity if you do a good job and have a good reputation. Yeah, you probably live in her house, so you have very minimal living expenses. But if you have to provide your own wardrobe, you are hosed - since the expectations of dressing properly for the environment will drain your salary. Since you are working 12 hour days six days a week, you aren’t going to have a lot of time for sightseeing when you travel, so that isn’t going to be terribly glamorous. It could be worse - LiLo apparently just hired a personal assistant recently. Course, right now its an easy job with the whole prison/rehab thing.