# Want to piss me off as a dominos driver? Order 2 mediums... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 12, 2020, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355 "2020-03-12T18:44:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2020, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/61 "2020-03-13T12:17:00Z")
Er, um, you promised to ‘Crush’ a ‘bitch’ at the door, for giving you any ‘lip’! But all anyone is talking about here is the square footage of the pizza, and if it’s a good deal? The Dope never disappoints. (Unless you’re a woman, then, always!) ---
**Author:** ![Ashtura](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ashtura/32/2963_2.png) [@Ashtura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtura)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2020, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/62 "2020-03-13T13:53:21Z")
I don’t order pizza often, but when I do, it’s for a family of 6, and much more food than 2 mediums. From Dominos. I have never had smooshed toppings to my recollection, and they only take one trip. It really seems like your anger is misplaced. While I agree with other posters that you’re probably “doing it wrong”, you should not fault the customer for getting the best deal. Maybe the company for offering the deal, but not the customer. In either case, I do not think you have the proper temperament for this job. ---
**Author:** ![Grey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2020, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/63 "2020-03-13T14:55:44Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > You might want to double-check that math. Far too late to change it but you’re right. I \*2 instead of ^2. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![ZonexandScout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zonexandscout/32/544_2.png) [@ZonexandScout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZonexandScout)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2020, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/64 "2020-03-13T15:15:00Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Do your pizzas come with the topping all smashed up on one side of the box and then you call the store to complain? If not, then I’m sure the driver doesn’t care at all. I just don’t get the OP’s rant. It’s been years since I’ve had domino’s delivered, but is it really a common problem that medium pizzas get delivered with toppings smashed to one side? I would expect not, but I have almost no real-world experience in this. (The last few Domino’s I’ve gotten I’ve carried out.) No, they don’t. A typical order might be two medium pizzas, a couple pastas, and a couple miscellaneous items. My drivers have been extremely careful to keep the insulated containers level and slide the items out with caution. Everything is always perfect (physically, that is). ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2020, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/65 "2020-03-13T15:26:00Z")
So it’s already been proven that doing the 2 mediums special deal is an optimal strategy for dollar-for-sq-inch of pizza, which makes sense since that’s the whole reason it’s a promotion As for the problem of the boxes sliding inside delivery sleeves, that’s not on the customer but on the management And as for the problem of toppings getting smushed by the box due to stacking boxes on top of each other… Isn’t that why those little tables were invented like 30 years ago? > **[Pizza saver](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pizza_saver)** > > A pizza saver (sometimes referred to as pizza table, pizza stool, pizza bone, pizza chair, pizza lofter, package saver, pizza tripod, or pizza ottoman) is an object used to prevent the top of a food container, such as a pizza box or cake box, from collapsing in at the center and touching the food inside. > Secondary reasons for the pizza table include keeping the cheese and toppings in place during delivery, so the pizza will be in good condition when it reaches the customer, and enabling customer... If one isn’t enough for some reason, due to the size of the pizza or stiffness of the box or number of pizzas being stacked… Just put a few more of them in there to distribute the load. That would be on whoever is packing the pizzas. And finally, if everybody is ordering these “2 mediums” deals and complaining about smushed toppings, it should only come back to you as a problem if your deliveries get more complaints than anybody else, which we don’t know if that’s true. Maybe there IS something about how you do it that makes this more likely. Are you delivering these on a motorcycle by sitting on top of a stack of pizza boxes? ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2020, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/66 "2020-03-13T15:31:04Z")
> [@robardin](#): > > … And as for the problem of toppings getting smushed by the box due to stacking boxes on top of each other… Isn’t that why those little tables were invented like 30 years ago? > > [Pizza saver - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pizza_saver) [Now available as actual furniture.](https://hypebeast.com/2020/3/ikea-pizza-hut-sava-table-collaboration) ---
**Author:** ![Esprise\_Me](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprise_me/32/2947_2.png) [@Esprise\_Me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprise_Me)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2020, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/67 "2020-03-13T15:34:34Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Er, um, you promised to ‘Crush’ a ‘bitch’ at the door, for giving you any ‘lip’! > > But all anyone is talking about here is the square footage of the pizza, and if it’s a good deal? > > The Dope never disappoints. (Unless you’re a woman, then, always!) Nah, people have called out the threats of violence too. But there’s only so much you can say about that, and it’s probably best for the board culture that such rhetoric doesn’t immediately inspire 10,000 response posts. OP certainly needs to get a grip, but the most entertaining part of this thread is how amazingly and objectively wrong he is about the product he delivers. I mean, good God, can you imagine handling 12 and 14 inch pizzas all the live long day and thinking one of the latter is equal to two of the former? This is even better than when Sammy Sosa tried to pretend he didn’t know the bat was corked! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2020, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/68 "2020-03-13T15:47:07Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > 'Scuse me, but pie r not square, pie r ROUND! Harumph! 😃 _Cake_ r square! ---
**Author:** ![Kovitlac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/2bfe46/32.png) [@Kovitlac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kovitlac)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2020, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/69 "2020-03-13T15:51:04Z")
So I take it people are just not supposed to have parties? If I’m ordering pizza for a half dozen people, two mediums are probably a better way to go, unless everyone just so HAPPENS to enjoy the exact same toppings. Doubtful. And I’d rather have two pizzas to choose from than worry about all that _olives on one have, mushrooms and pepperoni on the other_ bullshit. This seems like an incredibly petty thing to complain about. I get having a minor frustration, but it sounds like your beef is more with Dominos than the customers. ---
**Author:** ![Kron](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kron/32/12444_2.png) [@Kron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kron)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2020, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/70 "2020-03-13T16:48:23Z")
> [@Melbourne](#): > > For a cylinder of height (altitude) a, and radius z, the volume is > > pizza I have never heard this before… my son will appreciate it when I share tonight! ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2020, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/71 "2020-03-13T16:56:40Z")
Next topic: “Want to really piss me off as a dominos driver? Place an order that requires change…” ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2020, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/72 "2020-03-13T18:52:54Z")
We are all missing the big picture here: shouldn’t it be “two media pizza?” ---
**Author:** ![Corry\_El](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Corry\_El](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corry_El)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2020, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/73 "2020-03-13T19:17:55Z")
> [@Saintly\_Loser](#): > > So you’re pissed off because someone calls your place of employment, and orders something that’s actually on the menu,… Something they actually flog constantly in their ads, if I recall half-listening to them correctly. 🙂 We have local ‘real’ little pizza places where I live (though you could also get Domino’s etc but farther away). Large pies are simpler, and those places don’t necessarily give you more for your money with medium specials. Funny thread though, not only the (albeit complete chain yank, possibly, I hope so) OP theme but the math trouble. Sheds some light on whether stuff like basic geometry (which I guess a fairly small % of Americans could do right, especially without Googling it) is really so useless. ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2020, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/74 "2020-03-13T19:26:15Z")
> [@RaftPeople](#): > > Next topic: > “Want to really piss me off as a dominos driver? Place an order that requires change…” But the Medium is the message… ---
**Author:** ![RioRico](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f04885/32.png) [@RioRico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RioRico)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2020, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/75 "2020-03-13T19:43:02Z")
> [@Corry\_El](#): > > We have local ‘real’ little pizza places where I live (though you could also get Domino’s etc but farther away). Nearest Domino’s is a half-hour away down in the county seat. Only UPS and DeFex (aka FedEx) deliver on our dirt track and I doubt they haul food orders. No delivery drones yet. For pizza we turn on the oven, phone the local bake-your-own pizza shack just five minutes away, order, get dressed, hand over a $20 at the drive-thru window for a giant that’s two dinners for two old farts, maybe stop at the market next door for a quart of Miller’s High Life, return home, slide pizza into oven, wait a bit, and feast. Easy-peasy. Bears have left hibernation and are rummaging trash cans. We leave no pizza scraps. Sorry, bears. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2020, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/76 "2020-03-13T21:17:56Z")
Why would the delivery person be upset carrying two mediums? There should be no surprises. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2020, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/77 "2020-03-14T01:43:21Z")
> [@robardin](#): > > And as for the problem of toppings getting smushed by the box due to stacking boxes on top of each other… Isn’t that why those little tables were invented like 30 years ago? > > [Pizza saver - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pizza_saver) > > If one isn’t enough for some reason, due to the size of the pizza or stiffness of the box or number of pizzas being stacked… Just put a few more of them in there to distribute the load. Those were standard when I was a kid in the 1980s. I haven’t seen one in the wild in years. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2020, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/78 "2020-03-14T03:02:06Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Those were standard when I was a kid in the 1980s. I haven’t seen one in the wild in years. They still use them. I’ve had pizzas delivered from Domino’s and Pizza Hut, and there’s always a pizza saver in the box. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2020, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/79 "2020-03-14T10:19:16Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > They still use them. I’ve had pizzas delivered from Domino’s and Pizza Hut, and there’s always a pizza saver in the box. I’ve never seen one on a Dominos Pizza; they changed the boxes to that octagonal shape, which was supposed to keep the pizza warmer and prevent the lid sagging onto the toppings. ---
**Author:** ![gdave](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gdave/32/3683_2.png) [@gdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gdave)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2020, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/80 "2020-03-14T14:04:28Z")
I think a lot of folks in this thread are talking past the OP, to some extent. Most of the posters seem to think that **Asuka** is saying that the tops of the pizza are being smushed when he delivers them (which a spacer or the octagonal pizza box design would prevent). I think what he’s saying is that the _sides_ are being smushed, due to the following. Domino’s, like other chains, uses a fabric bag with a reflective interior to transport pizzas and hold in the heat. Drivers aren’t issued bags sized for the specific order; they get a one-size-fits-all bag, which means it needs to be big enough to fit the largest item on the menu (X-Large Pizza), which means that medium pizzas have a significant gap between the box and the sides of the bag, which means that they have significant room to slide around in transit. And the reflective material inside the bag doesn’t provide much friction. And the pizzas themselves are smaller than the box they are transported in, so if the box slides around, the pizza may slide around inside the box. The end result, is that by the time the pizza gets to the door, it has often slide around so much and so violently that it’s smushed up against the side of the box. Whereas a large pizza box fits much more snugly in the transport bag, so it doesn’t slide much if at all during transport, so large pizzas typically arrive un-smushed. Is that right, **Asuka**? All of _that_ being said…I’ve been ordering pizza for decades. I won’t swear that this has never happened to any of my pizzas, but I don’t remember it ever having happened. It’s certainly not a routine occurence. I frequently order non-pizza items that come in even smaller boxes, and I don’t ever remember getting them in a condition that indicated they had been flung around inside the transport pouch. A couple of weeks ago, some friends and I ordered multiple medium pizzas, pasta, breadsticks, and a sandwich from Domino’s. Multiple different box sizes, all medium-pizza-size or smaller, and all arrived in perfectly good order. I’m having trouble envisioning the maneuvers the OP would have to be undertaking to produce the results he’s complaining about. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355.md?page=5)