# Want to piss me off as a dominos driver? Order 2 mediums... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 12, 2020, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355 "2020-03-12T18:44:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2020, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/81 "2020-03-14T16:25:08Z")
> [@gdave](#): > > I think a lot of folks in this thread are talking past the OP, to some extent. Most of the posters seem to think that **Asuka** is saying that the tops of the pizza are being smushed when he delivers them (which a spacer or the octagonal pizza box design would prevent). I think what he’s saying is that the _sides_ are being smushed, due to the following. I don’t think the specific details about what is happening are the key points, but rather that the OP’s anger is misdirected. Instead of getting mad at the consumer, he should be getting mad at Obama. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2020, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/82 "2020-03-14T19:57:01Z")
> [@Asuka](#): > > Then these moronic bitches call the store to complain because they know I would crush them if they gave me lip at their door. What, you gonna sit on them? Crush them with all that lard from eating what you deliver? ---
**Author:** ![DinoR](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dinor/32/2821_2.png) [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2020, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/83 "2020-03-14T20:08:24Z")
> [@gdave](#): > > I’m having trouble envisioning the maneuvers the OP would have to be undertaking to produce the results he’s complaining about. I imagine something like [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAtd7IjXKYE) “documentary.” ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2020, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/84 "2020-03-14T21:51:32Z")
> [@Asuka](#): > > You’re right, the Trump economy is so amazing everyone is actually employed in white collar jobs now. You’re right–2016 was a pretty long time ago economy-wise. That you didn’t deliver pizzas then doesn’t mean that you can’t be doing it now. However, you apparently weren’t delivering them [two months ago](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=887923), either. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2020, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/85 "2020-03-14T22:05:28Z")
And you definitely weren’t less than a year ago: > [@So when will fast food places start charging for napkins and ketchup packets?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-when-will-fast-food-places-start-charging-for-napkins-and-ketchup-packets/834498/1): > > Where I work is within walking distance of a fast food plaza so I’ve been able to see the freebies go away in real time for the past five years. > … > > Similarly, every pizza place near me has gotten rid of both Parmesan cheese and red peppers in their little paper packets and are now selling them in small containers for an additional fee of course. This must have happened at all chains at the same time fairly recently as I still have Pizza Hut and Dominos red peppers packs in my work desk for future use. Also, not only do you have problems with _what_ pizza people order, you have [a problem with who orders it](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=854488). ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2020, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/86 "2020-03-15T01:38:53Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > 'Scuse me, but pie r not square, pie r ROUND! Harumph! 😃 > [@RTFirefly](#): > > _Cake_ r square! Pie r round. Cake r square _or_ round. \*\*CORNBREAD \*\*r square. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2020, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/87 "2020-03-15T02:09:18Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > Pie r round. Cake r square _or_ round. > > \*\*CORNBREAD \*\*r square. Not when you make it in a cast iron skillet. Which is what you should do. ---
**Author:** ![peccavi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peccavi/32/388_2.png) [@peccavi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peccavi)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2020, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/88 "2020-03-15T02:46:46Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > What, you gonna sit on them? Crush them with all that lard from eating what you deliver? No, he’s going to crush them [this way](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8t4pmlHRokg). In fact, based on the general tenor of the OP, that may actually be him in the linked clip. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2020, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/89 "2020-03-15T02:51:13Z")
> [@Asuka](#): > > …instead of 1 large. These dumbasses do it all the time because of a 2 for 5.99 deal. So i have to carry two medium sized boxes that shift in the pizza warmer box and sometimes get smashed making the toppings come off the pizza. Then these moronic bitches call the store to complain because they know I would crush them if they gave me lip at their door. > > Just order a large pizza and do half toppings on one side, half on the other. It’s not rocket science and it’s easier to deliver. So, you are blaming the customers for taking advantage of a good deal? Poor little snowflake. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2020, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/90 "2020-03-15T03:58:18Z")
If I fucking want two fucking medium pizzas, then I’m fucking going to order two fucking medium pizzas, and any delivery boy who does not like it can go get another fucking job. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2020, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/91 "2020-03-15T04:29:19Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > If I fucking want two fucking medium pizzas, then I’m fucking going to order two fucking medium pizzas, and any delivery boy who does not like it can go get another fucking job. At the end of the day, yes. I’m also having difficulty believing the OP is that much of an idiot that they can’t get a pizza to their destination without fucking it up beyond all recognition such that their customers call to complain but, well, I’ve never worked for Domino’s. I have, though, been a delivery driver in the past (oh, twenty-plus years ago) and I’ve never had a complaint about the state of my deliveries. Seriously, as I said above, what the fuck are you doing in your car that all your toppings slide off your pizzas? ---
**Author:** ![RioRico](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f04885/32.png) [@RioRico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RioRico)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2020, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/92 "2020-03-15T04:53:58Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Seriously, as I said above, what the fuck are you doing in your car that all your toppings slide off your pizzas? Slaloming down Dead Man’s Hill while playing bluegrass banjo. That messes up stuff. Q: How does a banjo player make their car go faster? A: Take the DOMINO’S sign off the roof. ---
**Author:** ![OldOlds](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a3d4f5/32.png) [@OldOlds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldOlds)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2020, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/93 "2020-03-15T11:57:49Z")
> [@wguy123](#): > > Can you create some sort of shimming system with old bread sticks? To be fair, it should be the Domino’s Engineering Department that determines the appropriate Pie Lockdown Mechanism (PLM for those in the business) and not the driver. That said, personally I would just use a can of expanding foam. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2020, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/94 "2020-03-15T11:59:44Z")
“The Deliverator belongs to an elite order, a hallowed subcategory. He’s got esprit up to here. Right now, he is preparing to carry out his third mission of the night. His uniform is black as activated charcoal, filtering the very light out of the air. A bullet will bounce off its arachnofiber weave like a wren hitting a patio door, but excess perspiration wafts through it like a breeze through a freshly napalmed forest. Where his body has bony extremities, the suit has sintered armorgel: feels like gritty jello, protects like a stack of telephone books.” ---
**Author:** ![OldOlds](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a3d4f5/32.png) [@OldOlds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldOlds)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2020, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/95 "2020-03-15T12:01:39Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > I ordered two mediums once. It didn’t make the seance any better. Are you saying we should order two media pizzas? ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2020, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/96 "2020-03-15T12:11:20Z")
Snow Crash. I loved it. ---
**Author:** ![GreenWyvern](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greenwyvern/32/2834_2.png) [@GreenWyvern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenWyvern)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2020, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/97 "2020-03-15T12:22:06Z")
> [@OldOlds](#): > > Are you saying we should order two media pizzas? I ordered two cheesy media paparazzi, but they arrived smashed. ---
**Author:** ![jerez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c68b51/32.png) [@jerez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jerez)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2020, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/98 "2020-03-15T18:22:43Z")
Driving fast and braking hard will slide everything to one side. About the XL delivery bag, rolled-up kitchen towels would help keep it in place. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2020, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/99 "2020-03-15T18:47:22Z")
I dunno. Seems to me that Domino’s Pizza wants me, the customer, to buy two medium pizzas, and doesn’t give a rat what the delivery driver wants, or his comfort, or his convenience, or much of anything else. This is what happens when command decisions are made in corporate boardrooms as opposed to by them what has to deal with the consequences. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2020, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355/100 "2020-03-15T20:29:53Z")
I would keep ordering my pizzas from that Domino’s but state explicitly on the phone that if the OP is the delivery person, I will not even open the door. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/want-to-piss-me-off-as-a-dominos-driver-order-2-mediums/849355.md?page=6)