# WANTED: Male dancers/strippers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 10, 2000, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407 "2000-10-10T15:04:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/21 "2000-10-10T21:46:22Z")
Xizor, If you stop hopping around like that and dance again I’ll give you a $20 and a drink of your choosing. 😃 I think I made a mistake when I opened the “The Men of the SDMB are…” thread. I meant it as a little jab, a challenge to their egos. Now I’ve got men dancing in here & in there. I think I may have over extended my ogling abilities. ---
**Author:** ![bashere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@bashere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bashere)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/22 "2000-10-10T21:47:33Z")
Little\*bits; I’d go for it, but I’m not worthy. I’ve only got 3 posts now. The other 2 are about java programming. Oh, yeah, that’s the other problem. I type for a living. ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/23 "2000-10-10T21:56:41Z")
Bashere, there is no excuse for not dancing at my bachelorette party (except projectile vomiting brought on by stage fright). Haul your tush up onto that stage, strip down & show us what you’ve got. ---
**Author:** ![bashere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@bashere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bashere)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/24 "2000-10-10T22:01:35Z")
Your wish is my command. Err…strip down how far? I’ll do a couple of shots of vodka to ward of the stage fright, so its an honest question. Just trying to give the audience what they want… Stage and not lap(dance), hunh? ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/25 "2000-10-10T22:17:43Z")
Strip as far as you feel comfortable. Ladies, how about some help. I can’t screen all the strippers by my self. ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/26 "2000-10-10T22:20:12Z")
:: Firefighter Wolf slides down from the ceiling on a brass pole :: Did you ladies call for a rescue? (cue the stripper music)…Ba-boom Ba-boom :: takes of fireman coat and twirls it in the air :: FLING! :: hands on hips, grinding most seductively :: I smell smoke…It’s starting to get _hot_ in here…I can’t believe how lucky I am to be trapped with ladies as beautiful as you… KICK! (off goes one boot) KICK! (off goes the other) :: more seductive grinding, then turning around and _so_ sexily shaking his ass, nice and slow, yeah :: Easy, girls, there’s plenty for all of you… :: he said, while flashing that killer smile and those steely blue eyes :: :: thumbs in the waist band, he teases them with a peek, then the pants are s-l-o-w-l-y slid down the legs, taken off, and twirled in the air :: FLING! :: he grabs little\*bit’s head and grinds his hips right in front of her face :: You like, baby? Mmmmmmmmmmm…you’re gorgeous… :: he said, while licking his full, luscious lips :: I’d like to hold you like a guitar and play you all night long… :: he strokes her hair ever so softly, and then :: RIP! :: off comes the shirt, flexing pecs that are glistening with steamy sweat :: Mmmmmmmm…You girls are turning me on… :: wearing nothing but a g-string and suspenders, Firefighter Wolf shakes his rock-hard gluteus to the maximus :: SNAP! goes one suspender… SNAP! goes the other… :: he continues to gyrate for the lovely ladies of the bachelorette party, until, could it be? wait…AHHHHHHH, there goes the G-String! :: :: he twirls it around on his finger, then shoots it into the adoring crowd :: Every good fireman should come equipped with a good, firm hose…don’t you agree? ---
**Author:** ![bashere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@bashere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bashere)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/27 "2000-10-10T22:29:02Z")
Oh, that didn’t raise the bar any. Err…where that vodka again? ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/28 "2000-10-10T22:32:18Z")
Someone hose me down!!! Not you Dire Wolf!!! On that note I think I’ll drive home & log on from there. I need some time to cool off. Hopefully there will be some more acts posted before I get back. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/29 "2000-10-10T22:42:05Z")
_blinks_ _fans self_ Damn…_points at Dire Wolf_ I want one!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bashere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@bashere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bashere)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/30 "2000-10-10T23:06:39Z")
::The (slightly swaying) bashere saunters on to stage, blinks a couple of times in the light, thanks god for vodka, and starts the music… ( she was a fast machine…) …grabs the pole with hands over his head and… (…she kept her motor clean…) ::undulates from head to toe and back… ( she was the best damn…err…wait…this is a horrible song in this context) ::reaches forward and rips of the tee-shirt ( from a defunct software company) exposing a washboard stomuch, honed from throwing up before work. ::Off go the battered nikes…followed by the jeans. Abs toned from hours of frantic mouse movement…legs bulging from running to meetings…ass of absolute steel…long blonde hair and blue eyes - (the dutch courage is finally kicking in). ::waits for the screams of the crowds and the waving of bills. ---
**Author:** ![sk8rixtx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@sk8rixtx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sk8rixtx)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/31 "2000-10-10T23:13:02Z")
Ladies, the FINEST entertainment has yet to come… :::::sk8 straps on nipple clamps, and glues booby tassles to ass cheeks:::::: ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/32 "2000-10-11T01:11:23Z")
I finally make it home, only to find that my strippers have all gone on break. 😕 ☹ :mad: ---
**Author:** ![bashere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@bashere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bashere)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/33 "2000-10-11T01:24:05Z")
I’m still here. And still pathetically eager to please! I’m like that. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/34 "2000-10-11T03:43:33Z")
Well, I’d dance, but you’d have to get sun-glasses first. The glare off of my scrawny pale body is not something to be taken lightly. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/35 "2000-10-11T04:04:28Z")
:: sticks head in on way home:: Look at all the women passed out…::hic:: looks like they had almost as much fun as we had… ::TAXI!!!:: ---
**Author:** ![Fonz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Fonz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fonz)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/36 "2000-10-11T05:39:38Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by little_bit \* > \*\*… and have yet to see any flesh. > \*\* Check out my signature line, m’dear. I’ll dance for you, and I don’t wear a g-string, so there’s no tipping. (A beer would be nice. Dancing is hot work!) ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/37 "2000-10-11T07:12:54Z")
I would love to apply. Miss Struuter, I believe you’ve seen my act before. Where do I sign up? ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/38 "2000-10-11T13:48:19Z")
Oh guys! This is so great! I can’t possibly tell you how much I appreciate your…_blinks at the fine bodies undulating around her_…your…uh…presence? bashere…very nice. I just had to tell you–and that’s not just for moral support. (frankly, I doubt we’ll be seeing much concerning morals around here before long…) 😃 Dire–never a dull moment with you. Thanks for giving it your all. And I do mean all… Fonz, very nice indeed. Drinks are on the house. xizor, jumping jacks? I don’t think my heart can take it. No, no! Don’t stop! 😃 BlackKnight, I’ve got my sunglasses right here. Don’t you worry about a thing. sk8–I’m speechless. What can I say? Um…nice tassles. You sure know how to use them. 😉 (sees lurker sneak out) chicken. ChrisP–You sign up right here. Yes, right here. I have seen your act–you don’t need to audition–unless you’d like to make my day… ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/39 "2000-10-11T13:55:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by struuter \* > \*\*xizor, jumping jacks? I don’t think my heart can take it. No, no! Don’t stop! 😃 > \*\* Wait until I start doing no-handed pushups 😉 ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/40 "2000-10-11T14:22:11Z")
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