# WANTED: Male dancers/strippers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 10, 2000, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407 "2000-10-10T15:04:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/61 "2000-10-11T19:05:08Z")
Consider it a standing offer, virtually šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/62 "2000-10-11T19:07:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by xizor \* > \*\*Consider it a standing offer, virtually šŸ™‚ \*\* Wow. Iā€™ve never had an offer for it ā€˜standing.ā€™ Virtual or otherwise. You are a man of surprises. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/63 "2000-10-11T19:17:13Z")
Yeah, and we havenā€™t even started the affair yet! Just imagine how much better it gets šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/64 "2000-10-11T19:18:24Z")
Since Crunchy & I have an ā€œunderstandingā€ I was kind of hoping I could find the man to ā€œopenā€ my marriage. šŸ˜ƒ (I am glad that my maid of ā€œhonorā€ is getting some good offers) ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/65 "2000-10-11T19:19:56Z")
AAAHHHHH!!! I just realized that struuter isnā€™t my ā€œmaid of honorā€. I guess that means you boys can have a free-for-all. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/66 "2000-10-11T19:21:46Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by little_bit \* > \*\*Since Crunchy & I have an ā€œunderstandingā€ I was kind of hoping I could find the man to ā€œopenā€ my marriage. šŸ˜ƒ > \*\* Iā€™m here to help in ANY way I can little\*bit. My affair with struuter is way in the future, so I got some timeā€¦ exactly what would you like me to ā€˜openā€™ first? šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/67 "2000-10-11T19:22:16Z")
šŸ˜‰ That I can do. ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/68 "2000-10-11T19:33:20Z")
Actually, I was hoping for another dance. Hopefully something with police officer theme. I have this thing for handcuffs & Mag-lights. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/69 "2000-10-11T19:40:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by struuter \* > \*\*šŸ˜‰ That I can do. \*\* Damn, but you guys post fast. Okay, xizorā€“Iā€™ll wait my turnā€¦Iā€™m sure youā€™re worth it. šŸ™‚ little\*bit, are you having fun? You certainly have enough to keep occupied for a while. Iā€™m glad we had such a good turn-out for you. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/70 "2000-10-11T20:20:57Z")
> [@](#): > > _little_bit \* > \*\*Actually, I was hoping for another dance. Hopefully something with police officer theme. I have this thing for handcuffs & Mag-lights. šŸ˜ƒ \*\* Officer Snow here, everyone get in line. Thatā€™s right against the wall and spreadā€™em! Hey, you! Yeah, you. You look like youā€™ve been a bad girl. Have you been bad? ::cue sirens and flashing lights:: You have the right to remain silent, though you may moan a little\*bit. You have the right to an attorney, though I would suggest a Pieceā€¦um, Peace Officer. Anything you say or do will be held against you, so say my name. Iā€™m going to have to restrain you now, maā€™am. Itā€™s for your own good. ::breaking out the handcuffs & **little\*bit** finds herself clipped inside one of those old Jupiter Jump things (you know, the air-filled ā€œridesā€ from carnivals):: Now maā€™am, Iā€™m going to have to search you, so this may tickle some. * * * damn, sorry folksā€¦boss is calling a meeting **Dire Wolf** , buddy, can you take over here? **Xizor** youā€™re on standby, step in if you think he needs assistanceā€¦or if you just canā€™t help yourself! ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/71 "2000-10-11T20:21:07Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by little_bit \* > \*\*Since Crunchy & I have an ā€œunderstandingā€ I was kind of hoping I could find the man to ā€œopenā€ my marriage. šŸ˜ƒ > \*\* Dire Wolf, stripper extraordinaire, at your service. _Full_ service, if you know what I mean. šŸ˜‰ I also have many uniforms and, uh, accessories. ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/72 "2000-10-11T20:31:23Z")
Itā€™s called ā€œGood Cop / Bad Copā€. Iā€™m the Bad Cop. The Very Bad Cop. Now that Officer Snow has you properly restrained, I shall now commence the full cavity search, but firstā€¦ahem. RIP! Goes the uniform topā€¦ FLING! Go the pantsā€¦ :: wearing nothing but his cop hat and holster, Officer Wolf begins to gyrate wildly :: SCHWING! Hey, little\*bit, this isnā€™t a Smith & Wesson hanginā€™ off my belt, Iā€™m just glad to see you! :: starts frisking little\*bit oh so friskily :: Alright, off with those cuffs. Itā€™s time to take you in the back room for an investigation with Internal Affairsā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/73 "2000-10-11T20:41:18Z")
NO!!! No, no, no. Leave the cuffs on. I could be a hostile witness. You should probably keep your weapon away from me. I could make a grab at you piece. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/74 "2000-10-11T20:57:55Z")
My lord. :eek: What a lucky, lucky woman. I just hope Crunchy doesnā€™t come wandering in hereā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/75 "2000-10-11T21:10:50Z")
I really donā€™t think heā€™d mind. We have an ā€œopenā€ marriage planned. Tally-Ho is his internet stripper mistress. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/76 "2000-10-11T21:22:35Z")
Good point, little\*bit. CLICKā€¦CLICK. Back on with the cuffs. You are indeed a hostile witness. :: Officer Wolf cracks little\*bit with his ā€œbatonā€ :: Now you calm down, missy, or youā€™ll get more and like it. If youā€™re _really_ bad, I will have to handcuff your ankles behind your head. Now you donā€™t want me to have to do that, do you? ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/77 "2000-10-11T21:37:16Z")
Iā€™d like to avoid that if at all possible. The chain tends to tangle in my hair. :eek: šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/78 "2000-10-11T21:38:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by struuter \* > **And I have no idea what sort of virtual spouse Iā€™d have, or whether it would be an open virtual marriage or a more conservative, monogamous virtual marriage. > In fact, the idea of virtually marrying anyone is a pretty important stepā€“especially for a virtual strumpet like myself. The virtual man who would enter into a virtual relationship with a virtual strumpet would have to have a very understanding and generous virtual personality. \** How about your bf back in SDMB high school? ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2000, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/79 "2000-10-11T22:19:19Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by little_bit \* > \*\*Iā€™d like to avoid that if at all possible. The chain tends to tangle in my hair. :eek: šŸ˜ƒ \*\* little\*bit, whatever youā€™d like. Iā€™m only here to please šŸ˜‰ [BTW] I just checked out your homepage. You have got the nicest collection of scenic pictures that I have seen in quite some time. Did you take them all? Theyā€™re beautiful, but none more so than that little\*bit of loveliness on the first page. [/BTW & shameless flirting] ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407/80 "2000-10-12T13:55:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\* > > How about your bf back in SDMB high school? \*\* You know what they say, no love is as intense as first loveā€¦ (that was sweet of you to say, iampunha) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-male-dancers-strippers/36407.md?page=5)