# Wanted: step-by-step instructions on time travel **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 18, 2005, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800 "2005-06-18T07:48:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800/21 "2005-06-18T20:52:15Z")
Diana Gabaldon (_Outlander_ series) Find a bunch of standing stones somewhere - these may be in Scotland or the U.S., but potentially elsewhere as well. Visit them on Samhain or Beltane. If you are able (seems to be genetic) to travel with the stones, you will hear them humming when you touch them. It helps (for your protection) to have a gemstone with you and have someone you love at the time you’re going to. Time moves parallel, so if you spend 20 years sometime and then return, you will find that 20 years have passed. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800/22 "2005-06-18T21:21:38Z")
> [@](#): > > Superman I - Use superspeed to zoom around the world in a direction opposite that of the earth’s rotation. (Backward time travel only.) Do this dozens of times and you’ll go back about 20 minutes or so. Warning: might cause parental displeasure. You must actually reverse the rotation of the earth. I have had people explain the hypothesis that he was mearly travelling backward through time and to his perspective the Earth would have seemed reverse, however that doesn’t hold up to the scientific fact. After travelling around the world many times, he stops, however the earth is still rotating in the opposite direction, So it’s not a matter of perception.He turns around and goes the other way to pull the rotation back in the normal direction. The rotation of the Earth is the key. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800/23 "2005-06-18T21:49:14Z")
> [@Turek](#): > > According to **Somewhere In Time** , self-hypnosis allows you to travel backwards in time. Or at least imagine you did. Just be sure to empty your pockets before you go. And forget all about your Kryptonian powers. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800/24 "2005-06-18T21:52:52Z")
Can anyone explain the time travel in Connie Willis’ _The Doomsday Book_? I have to admit I have absolutely no head for math or science, and didn’t pay too much attention to the more technical passages. I know it involves a net and a technician, who would presumably be able to explain it, if he weren’t a) fictional and b) sick as a dog. ---
**Author:** ![dotchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800/25 "2005-06-18T22:03:20Z")
Chrono Trigger-style time travel: \*Genius inventor friend - Steampunk teleportation device - Spunky tomboy princess - Shiny pendant made of dreamstone Or \*Rip in the space-time continuum generated by Lavos Or \*Time machine invented by Belthasar Power-Puff Girls-style time travel: \*Race home with your sisters Jackie Chan Adventure-style time travel: \*Get zapped with a funky time-related invention, then run real fast with the rabbit talisman ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Dirx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b77776/32.png) [@Sir\_Dirx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Dirx)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800/26 "2005-06-18T22:10:31Z")
**Futurama** - Park your spaceship next to a star about to go supernova, then microwave an aluminum popcorn package. To re-open the space hole and return home, microwave another package. **Timeline** - Something about shrinking down and utilizing quantum foam (quondam phone?), but I forget the details. ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800/27 "2005-06-18T22:23:08Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > Those learnt experts, Drs. Calvin and Hobbes, determined three things: > > 1. You can go back in time in a cardboard box, > > 2. That your going backwards or forwards in time depends on what way the cardboard box is pointing, and > > 3. That it takes complicated math to explain how the time machine works, so that it is best to not explain it. And NEVER argue with your past or future selves to decide who does the homework. ---
**Author:** ![dotchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800/28 "2005-06-18T22:34:09Z")
Ah, remembered another series. Doraemon-style time travel: 1. Live as a total loser all your life. 2. Marry your childhood sweetheart and have kids. 3. Wait for civilization to invent sentient robots and time travel. 4. Have your great-grandson send a robot assistant to you into your desk. ---
**Author:** ![Taran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Taran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taran)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800/29 "2005-06-18T22:47:54Z")
**The Anubis Gates** There are particular locations in space and time where magic works and advanced machinery does not. If you’re at the correct time and place, you can use sorcery to go to another such time and place. Travel by this method is paradox-free, which raises exciting free-will issues but makes meeting yourself much safer. Fair warning, though: you’re teleporting into a place where magic works and your high-tech toys don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800/30 "2005-06-18T22:58:21Z")
_Peggy Sue Got Married_ was filmed in my hometown. ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800/31 "2005-06-18T23:44:45Z")
I remember a book called ‘How to make scrambled Chickens’ that had Time travel instructions. 1. Dress in period clothing. 2. place a chair in the middle of the room. sit in it. 3. concentrate on the period you wish to visit. Hold your breath. 4. tip the chair so you fall over backwards. 5. You will be in the desired time period until you exhale. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800/32 "2005-06-18T23:54:45Z")
_The Bullwinkle Show_ (or more specifically, _Peabody’s Improbable History_): I’m not really sure. I know Mr. Peabody adopted Sherman, but I think he already had the WABAC Machine. I guess he’s a smart enough dog to have built it. There’s your answer: build a time machine. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Bongo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a9adbd/32.png) [@Winston\_Bongo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Bongo)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2005, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800/33 "2005-06-19T10:22:51Z")
Step one: Buy time machine off eBay. Step two: Set dial for 1982. Step three: Don’t forget to insert the crystals. _Sweet!_ ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2005, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800/34 "2005-06-19T11:12:53Z")
Wait until midnight, when the grandfather clock in the hall strikes 13. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2005, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800/35 "2005-06-19T14:14:13Z")
Pokemon: Find an ancient machine and make your Pokemon spin on it or simply find a Celbi, scare it, and hold on tight. Ecco the Dolphin: Find an ancient machine and make a high pitched sound at it or ask an all-powerful infinite being (which couldn’t hang on to all his parts with both hands) or get molested by two aliens. Easy enough. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800/36 "2005-06-20T11:39:42Z")
Time After Time: Use H.G. Wells’s time machine. Of course, it helps if you are H.G. Wells. ---
**Author:** ![audiobottle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@audiobottle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audiobottle)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800/37 "2005-06-20T13:15:41Z")
The Time Traveler’s Wife: Have a genetic mutation to give you temporal instability. Unfortunately, you might not be able to control it, but apparently atypical antipsychotics can help. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800/38 "2005-06-20T13:22:47Z")
Terminator movies - I DON’T KNOW! I DIDN’T BUILD THE FUCKING THING! ---
**Author:** ![NoCoolUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5fc32e/32.png) [@NoCoolUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoCoolUserName)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800/39 "2005-06-21T03:04:02Z")
Mentally construct a hyper-cube and then fold it around yourself, sealing the edges so that it becomes 1 (?) dimensional. \* Join the Time Patrol. \*\* Walk the pattern engraved/embossed in the floor of the cave. \*\*\* Invent the time machine, then send yourself back in time to invest a few dollars that will grow to be the largest fortune on earth so that you can afford the energy to run the time machine to send yourself back. \*\*\*\* - Heinlein \*\* Pohl \*\*\* Norton \*\*\*\* don’t remember (Harrison?) ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800/40 "2005-06-21T03:21:34Z")
[Time Cube](http://www.timecube.com/) explains it all. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wanted-step-by-step-instructions-on-time-travel/308800.md?page=3)