“No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife between the shoulder blades will seriously cramp his style.” - Jhereg proverb
No worries. I’m here. I’m a witch.
And that sofa is totally mine the second it’s built (and I save up a likely astounding amount of money.)
It depends on their age, but if they are young enough, try shouting “abracadabra” at them while pelting them with a pie. When the pie hits them, they’ll think they are dead.
**DAMN **you!
I came in to this thread to post that very quote.
<waves tiny fists of not-quite-rage>
Wizards? Why are you worried about wizards? You need to do something about those bees you’re covered in:
http://fafblog.blogspot.com/2008/05/in-case-of-emergency.html
A fifth level magic user has access to the spell Protection from Normal Missiles. Buckshot falls into the category of normal missiles. Nukes, on the other hand, don’t, but if you use nukes then it’s kind of hard to find loot afterwards. Using a Detect Magic spell or item is useless…EVERYTHING is glowing!
What?!
This sofa is only fabled to exist and you want me to just run out and buy twelve? I think not! We barely even have photographic evidence of its existence.
You sir, are not cut out for the adventurer lifestyle.
You may stay in your little ho-hum miscellaneous item shot, but I’ve got great things in store for me. Taking down wizards and acquiring rare and unique items from across the land!
As a Wizard, I take umbrage at the very idea that you would need to defend yourself against us or find reason to hunt us down.
Yeah, yeah, that’s what all the wizards say.
I’ve never had to track down a wizard. I just use my trusty old Wizard Summoning 101, which consists of one pan of lasagna. Gets 'em every time. Also works well on DMs.
“If he can’t breathe, he can’t cast spells” - Dwarven proverb.
I believe that TP also mentions a tendency to move toward strong drink and good food. Perhaps positioning a bar or buffet nearby would at least delay them. As for a permanent defence, let me check my notes.
No. Not that. That wouldn’t work at all. No. sigh
Well, it appears that I have no tutorials on defence against wizards. If you should find that you have a need for safety procedures pertaining to wizardly research, though, I have a few pamphlets. I can hook you right up.
Three couches for the Admins on the SDMB
Seven for the lurkers in their hidden ID’s
Nine for trolls doomed to be banned,
And one sofa for the Bee Lord covered in drones.
One sofa to rule them all
One sofa to lounge on
One sofa to host all guests
And in the night time sleep on
Something wrong with the scansion, but poetry is not my strong suit.