# war declaration on hitler??? why? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 6, 2000, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251 "2000-12-06T03:27:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Chronolicht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@Chronolicht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronolicht)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251/61 "2001-01-04T07:32:26Z")
Everyone knows that the bangers used for British dishes like toad in the hole and whatnot were in danger of being replaced by IG Farben’s Impolex G, which was a pre-methyl cellulose synthetic meat substitute. The British found their domestic market flooded with the German substitute, and declared war on Germany for it. This kids gonna walk away with a head full of mashed. I hope you guys are happy. ---
**Author:** ![everton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@everton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/everton)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251/62 "2001-01-04T14:20:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SDFMacross \* > \*\*As for Toad in the Hole, is it made with those sausages they call “bangers?” those are mmm-mmm good. \*\* “Bangers” is just an old fashioned nickname for pretty much any kind of sausages. The word is hardly ever mentioned nowerdays outside of the phrase _bangers ‘n’ mash_. The best sausages for toad in the hole are either cumberlands or lincolns. I would travel all the way to Paraguay to make war on Hitler all over again to avoid eating a frozen version - in fact I refuse to believe it exists. As far as I’m concerned pigs in blankets are sausages wrapped in bacon, not dough. BTW, is there any _American_ food? ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251/63 "2001-01-04T16:12:49Z")
> [@](#): > > BTW, is there any American food? Oh, yes, lots. Here’s one that may suprise you: Chop Suey. Inveneted in San Francisco in about 1906, IIRC. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251/64 "2001-01-04T16:20:37Z")
Wasn’t pizza invented in New York? Also, anything with corn, tomatoes, squash, chocolate, vanilla, or peppers is at least a Western Hemisphere food. I don’t believe I’ve ever been an integral part of a Threadspotting thread. I’d like to thank the Academy. ---
**Author:** ![right\_said\_fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9d8465/32.png) [@right\_said\_fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/right_said_fred)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251/65 "2001-01-04T16:59:04Z")
So I’m beginning to put together the Big Picture here, as it pertains to the Earth in the early throes of 2001. Hitler, not dead but in South America, has again declared war on the British. His new-age storm troopers are the bands of football hooligans spreading chaos across the Old World in an attempt to reinstate the Third Reich. To placate the everyday Englishman and hide the truth behind the hooligans ultimate solution, Hitler’s scientists have introduced “mad cow” disease to the island nation knowing full and well this disease would infiltrate the population through the weekly infestations of Toad in the Hole. To keep the CIA from detecting his plans for world domination, Hitler has again put his scientists to work controlling the television sets throughout North America. Evidence is fleeting, but I believe Hitler Labs, Inc. has created some sort of dimension pod whereby he has “created” a whole nother planet Earth, exactly one-half orbit from our present position, or possibly just a colony on the Dark Side of the Moon. It is in this dimension pod he has synthesized a population known as Poland which Hitler has controlled since the early eighties by white signs with red lettering and a short (see!) mustachioed (see!) puppet leader. Hitler runs his little dimensional puppet show, videotapes the “events” and secretly plants the “live feeds from Poland” in the televisions throughout the US and Canada. Through these newsreels, the Poles, claiming to be “oppressed”, have demanded a great deal of the attention of the CIA. To help solve the plight of the Poles – who we now know not to exist – the US has wired great sums of money to “Poland”, thus enriching Hitler’s cause. How else could he afford all those football tickets for the hooli-troopers? I’m thinking Hitler may also control the paparazzi. The “accidental” death of Princess Di is probably just his first step to eliminating Parliament and the Royals. He needed to test the effectiveness of his weapon (remember Spain?), and she stepped into the spotlight. But I can’t seem the figure how Delaware fits into the whole mix. I thought I drove through there once, but Hitler certainly proves to be a wiley character since I have the memory, but it didn’t really happen. Does he have some mind-control satellites (MCS) also? My personal lack of a space-faring vehicle does not permit me to verify this MCS hypothesis. Can someone at NASA look into this for me? In conclusion, for lunch I’ll be having the corned beef on pumpernickel with Lorraine Swiss and sanitized pre-packaged yellow mustard. I’m thinking of maybe some slaw on the side, and baked mini-pretzels. There will be an ice cold Diet Coke to wash down the whole thing. Yum. ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251/66 "2001-01-05T05:01:46Z")
On;y in the SDMB do we turn a troll OP into a discussion about British cuisine. I have a question, how do you make a butterpie, and if Chamberlain gave Hitler one, would chamberlain have struck a better deal? ---
**Author:** ![Myshelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Myshelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myshelle)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251/67 "2001-01-05T06:20:33Z")
The enitre history of Poland is one invasion after the other starting around the time of the vikings. There are only a few European countries who have not invaded Poland and of those Luxembourg is the most ferocious. When Germany invaded Poland it was just time to go to war over Poland again, just the natural course of events. Nothing to get excited over. ---
**Author:** ![Chronolicht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@Chronolicht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronolicht)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251/68 "2001-01-05T06:21:45Z")
BRITISH CUISINE!! Hanh! Harnunh! Ha! Rort rort rort! Titter, guffaw, chortle, smirk, involuntary micturation. Capacitor is one funny bloke! ---
**Author:** ![Clairmont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@Clairmont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clairmont)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251/69 "2001-01-05T09:05:11Z")
\*\*BANGERS AND BEANS[\b] But what do I know. I thought that don Jaimi’s post was brilliant, and I probably spelled his name wrong. At least I hope I did. ---
**Author:** ![Clairmont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@Clairmont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clairmont)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251/70 "2001-01-05T09:08:15Z")
And perhaps someday, I’ll learn the stupid codes. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251/71 "2001-01-09T10:58:28Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by absoul \* > \*\* I like lefse! Although technically you don’t wrap sausage in lefse, usually just sugar and jelly._\* Jelly? Urk. The thing you can wrap hot dogs in is called a _lompe_. Mostly popular with little kids, who find the standard roll is too big to fit in their mouths and, anyway, interferes with the pure mystery-meat-and-ketchup pleasure of eating hot dogs. A _lefse_ is sweet, eaten with butter and sugar, and maybe cinnamon or brown cheese, but never sausages. However, when most emigrants left Norway for the US and Canada, the word _lompe_ wasn’t in common use, and both types of pancakes were called _lefse_. Thus the sympathy for the Minnesotan who wants his hot dog wrapped in a _lefse_. ---
**Author:** ![Xerxes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/d2c977/32.png) [@Xerxes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xerxes)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2001, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251/72 "2001-05-09T15:58:11Z")
We’re the victims of historical Chinese whispers. Hitler’s real problem was the proliferation of extremely successful Eastern European spies infiltrating the Reichstag from early 1937 onward. These brave but ultimately foolhardy agents became well-known for hiding secret material in their bodily orifices… The infamous _Code in the Pole_ problem. ---
**Author:** ![trose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f9ae1b/32.png) [@trose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trose)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2001, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251/73 "2001-05-09T23:54:37Z")
After working on it for four months, the best you could come up with is _ **Code in the Pole???** _ Back to the drawing board, bub. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2001, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251/74 "2001-05-10T01:27:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Clairmont \* > \*\*BANGERS AND BEANS > But what do I know. > \*\* That’s bangers and _bloaters_, dammit. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Baloo_\*\* > . . .to the patent insanity of a “meal” that’s been skewered on a stick as if it were a pork lollipop.\*\* Now, _The Pork Lollipops_ would make a great name for a punk band. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2001, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251/75 "2001-05-10T01:31:43Z")
Ack! Zombie thread! Kill it! Diediedie_diediedie_! ::mommy!:: ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2001, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251/76 "2001-05-10T02:34:22Z")
A thread this funny deserves to live. Notice that the thread starter never returned? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2001, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251/77 "2001-05-10T05:29:48Z")
I think we’ve exhausted the possiblities of debating Toad in the Hole and its causitive role in the Second World War. It’s time to move one. Thanks to wartime jingles, we all know about the testicle situation of the Nazi leadership: Adolf Hitler, dictator of the Third Reich and architect of mass genocide, possessor of only one ball; Joseph Goebbels, Nazi minister of propaganda, the owner of two testicles, albeit two of less than normal size; Heinrich Himmler, master of the SS, a man whose testicles were similar to Goebbels; and Herman Goering, head of the Luftwaffe, a eunuch with no balls at all. So with the exception of the always enigmatic Martin Borman, we have a tight grip on the testicles of the Nazi heirarchy. But what of the penis situation? Specifically, who was the Nazi who had the Spotted Dick? ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2001, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251/78 "2001-05-10T05:30:20Z")
Oh, [he returned](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=49737) alright, **jab**. He asked the same dumb question in a different thread. Short-lived, that. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2001, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251/79 "2001-05-10T05:35:07Z")
Wait, who the hell _was_ Little Nemo again? Goddamn it! Quit switching names on me! rrrgggghhhhh! ---
**Author:** ![Xerxes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/d2c977/32.png) [@Xerxes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xerxes)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2001, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251/80 "2001-05-10T10:34:34Z")
trose said: > [@](#): > > After working on it for four months, the best you could come up with is Code in the Pole??? > > Back to the drawing board, bub. Puns being better the worse they are, this was the _worst_ I could come up with, so thanks. [sub]I guess[/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-declaration-on-hitler-why/44251.md?page=5)