# War with Canada **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 23, 2000, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-canada/23336 "2000-06-23T16:27:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-canada/23336/21 "2000-06-23T20:10:11Z")
I ran into this on Snope’s [http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/petition/joesrant.htm](http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/petition/joesrant.htm) I thought it was germain to the flame war…err, genteel discussion. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-canada/23336/22 "2000-06-24T12:35:22Z")
[quote] I was wondering what could cause a war between the US and Canada. [quote] Bryan Adams Pamela Anderson Jim Carey Michael J. Fox William Shatner **Celine Dion** I think it’s clear who started the hostilities. ---
**Author:** ![Nika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ba9def/32.png) [@Nika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-canada/23336/23 "2000-06-24T14:33:42Z")
Zed or Zee… will the war ever end?? By the way I am all for ZED!!! Even in Men In Black they recognized this. ZED ZED ZED ZED ZED ZED ZED ZED ZED ZED ZED ZED ZED ZED ZED have you ever noticed if you say something too much it loses meaning?? ---
**Author:** ![Dylan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e95f7d/32.png) [@Dylan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dylan)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-canada/23336/24 "2000-06-24T14:45:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > Because the average Canadian penis has roughly the same girth as a beer can, > \*\* um…excuse me…please direct me to the province in which you live… ---
**Author:** ![vd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b19c9b/32.png) [@vd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vd)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-canada/23336/25 "2000-06-24T15:39:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > We’d have to even things up, like just Idaho vs Alberta or something. > \*\* As a Calgary resident, I say NO WAY!! Not with all of those militia types in Idaho! If it’s one-on-one, I’ll take Sandpoint, ID resident Ben Stein. Then you’ll have to win MY money. ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-canada/23336/26 "2000-06-24T19:28:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*\* > > > > Because the average Canadian penis has roughly the same girth as a beer can, > > \*\* > > um…excuse me…please direct me to the province in which you live… > \*\* Sweetie, thats ALL the provinces. Why do you think the Canadians seem so content? ---
**Author:** ![VaHermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ed655f/32.png) [@VaHermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VaHermit)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-canada/23336/27 "2000-06-24T20:10:55Z")
When I was sixteen, I got into a fight with a lifelong friend who had moved to Canada in grade school and become a citizen. He was visiting for the summer and decided to make time with my girl friend. He proceded to whip my ass big time, war over…defeat conceded. He went home, I married her. Fade out… 30 years later, He and I are still friends, She and I are divorced. It’s not worth it, Just give 'em the country, they’ll be sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Dylan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e95f7d/32.png) [@Dylan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dylan)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-canada/23336/28 "2000-06-24T20:46:10Z")
wait, wait, wait… is this supposed to be a King Can of beer, or a regular can?..I’m in Quebec… we usually drink beer from a bottle…what girth are we talking then?.. Kellibelli…are you sure it’s ALL provinces? ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-canada/23336/29 "2000-06-24T21:38:14Z")
Didn’t we blow up the White House once? I seem to recall it being mentioned in social class… [hijack]I just wanted to say Hey vd and welcome to the boards. As a Calgary resident as well I have to agree with you on that. No way! Though maybe they might send my little brother off to fight (him being in cadets) and he won’t return… hmm has possibilities…[/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-canada/23336/30 "2000-06-24T21:44:46Z")
Dylan, isn’t that why some are called “gross” and some “p’tit”? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-canada/23336/31 "2000-06-24T22:46:10Z")
Consider the Canuck’s advantages in military leadership. William Shatner/aka Captain James Tiberius Kirk Lorne Green/aka Commander Adama of the Battlestar Galactica Adama was the only Colonial Warrior leader that didn’t fall for the Cylon trap. And **KIRK!!!** WELL!!! The hideous , Canuck/aliens would blast our cities to ashes with their Death Rays, and decend upons us to suck out our brains & eyeballs!!! AAAAHHHHHH!!! And now that Microsoft is being broken up, we can’t hack into their computers & shut down their force-fields! The moral—FIRST STRIKE NOOOOWWWWWW!!! **AAATTTTTAAAAACCCCKKKKKKK!!!** ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-canada/23336/32 "2000-06-25T06:19:51Z")
Planning for the Canadian invasion of the US will take place here: [Stubblejumper Doper-fest in Weyburn!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=26802). Spies from the other side of the border are welcome, but will be interrogated mercilessly. (Especially any Mata Hari types. ;)) ---
**Author:** ![JimmyNipples](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@JimmyNipples](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimmyNipples)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-canada/23336/33 "2000-06-26T17:57:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*\* > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > \*\* > > > > > > Because the average Canadian penis has roughly the same girth as a beer can, > > > \*\* > > > > um…excuse me…please direct me to the province in which you live… > > \*\* > > Sweetie, thats ALL the provinces. Why do you think the Canadians seem so content? > \*\* Yup…we’re polite because we’re just too exhuasted from marathon sex sessions. PS…Real Canadians use toques for condoms. ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-canada/23336/34 "2000-06-26T21:52:30Z")
I hear the Canadian government is mailing a free beer to each citizen. You Canadians better go wait by your mailboxes, you don’t want it to get skunky. Or worse, stolen. . . . . . . . OK, now that the Canadians are gone, you Americans should stop worrying about Canada. Our plans to get them to attack themselves by funding the Quebec separatists is going according to plan. Nice and non-violent (for us at least). Quit taunting them, so they don’t get suspicious, and blame us. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-canada/23336.md?page=1)