# War with IRAN! No! No! HELL No! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 26, 2003, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655 "2003-05-26T23:00:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655/61 "2003-05-27T03:19:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by milroyj \* > \*\*Because I don’t see anything to get particularly mad about. You didn’t see this coming, what with the Axis of Evil and all? As the President already stated on September 13, 2001, anyone harboring terrorists ain’t gonna last. Supposedly, the co-ordinated attacks in Saudi were directed from Iran. Ergo, they are history. \*\* Funny what a difference a little word like “supposedly” can make, ain’t it? \*\* > [@](#): > > Simple really.\*\* I’d say that “simple” is a word that certainly applies here, yes. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655/62 "2003-05-27T03:25:31Z")
Yeah, people are just horrified that we’re finally using our leverage to win a war that started at least as far back as 1979. Years and years and years and years ago people started decrying the fact that America was insulated from terrorists and that we never had to face Islamic fundamentalism and that a few isolated incidents wouldn’t be enough to make us get involved on the War on Terror that the Germans, the French, the Brits, etc. were fighting for us. Well, we’re involved now, buddy boy. Hope the message spreads fast, because as much as I’d hate to have to harry al Qaeda and supporters of Islamic fundamentalist terrorism and motherfuckers who pay royalties to families of suicide bombers to the uttermost island of Indonesia, well hell, if that’s what it takes… The War on Terror is World War 3. We’re in it. Been in it for years. It’s about fucking time we decided to win it. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655/63 "2003-05-27T03:27:35Z")
Well, **furt** , its kind of like hearing a guy swear hes gonna wipe his ass with a prickly pear cactus. No matter how many times he says it, you can’t really believe he’s dumb enough to do it…and then he does. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655/64 "2003-05-27T03:30:23Z")
Ah. **Ogre** Aptly ylclept. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655/65 "2003-05-27T03:33:08Z")
**furt** : I’d guess that the surprise you’re puzzled about isn’t so much that the U.S. is going after another country using terrorism as a justification; rather, the surprise and dismay results from the fact that the _last_ war turned out to have no justification except lies and distortions, and yet we are set to do the exact same thing again using the same transparent excuses. ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655/66 "2003-05-27T03:33:43Z")
I’m just not seeing the ramp-up to invading Iran. The US recently says to Iran that it believes figures connected with the Riyadh bombings are working from there…first Iran denies it, then hedges, now they’ve apparently arrested some, and say they will continue to work against al-qaida. Good so far, no surprises. If Iran had refused to budge on it, or if the US was making absurd claims to find a premise for attacking, then we have a story. But neither seems to apply. So…what have I missed. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655/67 "2003-05-27T03:34:32Z")
You know, I can’t help but think that Dubya would be less tense and worried and prepared to declare war on anybody who stick out their tongue at him and more inclined to stick to business if he could just get a nice blowjob from some intern … 'Course Laura Bush could help out there, too, but she’s a Republican woman and all … ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655/68 "2003-05-27T03:36:16Z")
Indeed, in this particular area. That I remain ogrish toward people whose stated aim is to establish a pan-Arabic and eventually greater Islamic theocracy is not something I see as a fault. Who does Khamenei idolize? Whose photograph graces his walls? None other than our old buddy Khomeini, who orchestrated the incident that should have thrown us headlong into the battle in the first place…but which we allowed to just faaaaade away. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655/69 "2003-05-27T03:37:48Z")
Yeah, sure, but she’s a _librarian_. You haven’t had some librarian noggin, you ain’t lived. Take you an hour just to uncurl yer toes! ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655/70 "2003-05-27T03:39:31Z")
> [@](#): > > _Fool me once, > Shame on me > Fool me twice. > Shame on me, again_ \*\* Or as GWB once said: “There’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas, it’s probably in Tennessee --that says, fool me once, shame on … shame on you. Fool me … You can’t get fooled again.” - G.W. Bush quoted by the Baltimore Sun - Oct 6, 2002 ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655/71 "2003-05-27T03:40:27Z")
Psssst! **Ogre**. Iranians aren’t Arabs. They’re Persians. 'Course, once they’re dead, they’re all pretty much the same. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655/72 "2003-05-27T03:41:29Z")
Actually, **elucidator** , may I steal that line, for all its intended sarcasm? My girlfriend is a librarian, and it would tickle her. Two things, incidentally: 1. Neither she nor I are Republicans. 2. You have _not_ lived until you’ve shagged a librarian. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655/73 "2003-05-27T03:41:46Z")
**milroyj:** _Prediction: regime change in Iran within 6 months. Message: stop fucking with the United States._ “Message” according to **whom**? That may be the message you **hope** an invasion of Iran would send, and that may be the message the Administration would **like** it to send, but sweetie, what really matters is the message that the people on the receiving end are **hearing**. And the message a lot of people in the Muslim world and elsewhere are hearing loud and clear right now is “The United States reserves the right to fuck with you to any extent on any trumped-up excuse, whenever it wants to. Nuclear weapons are your only hope of deterrence, and terrorist attacks your only hope of revenge.” Greeeeeeeeaat message, that. :rolleyes: And you imagine that unilaterally invading Iran would change it rather than reinforce it? ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655/74 "2003-05-27T03:42:03Z")
Hello, Verilux (speak the truth, bring light), I dig your rap. This is a fucked up place run by the inmates. **I’d kind of like to see a discussion on the topic of making a change.** We are villains. I pay taxes, I am part of the system, I am an accomplice to this. We go to Iran because it’s just hop-scotch, after all. Ladies out there, let’s hear you in the cheap seats: [http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2003/05/24/MN135276.DTL](http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2003/05/24/MN135276.DTL) ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655/75 "2003-05-27T03:42:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by milroyj \* > \*\*Prediction: regime change in Iran within 6 months. > > Message: stop fucking with the United States. > > \*\* I think the message they will get is “The United States has declared war on Islam. Fight or die!” Still, no plans for a regime change in N Korea. Must be afraid they’d shoot back. Wouldn’t look good in the news bytes. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655/76 "2003-05-27T03:44:48Z")
> [@](#): > > Psssst! Ogre. Iranians aren’t Arabs. They’re Persians. 'Course, once they’re dead, they’re all pretty much the same. Pssst, **elucidator** , you did see where I said “eventually greater,” right? I’m perfectly aware of the cultural history of Iran. Yours, Ogre, Master of Science, Geography, 1998. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655/77 "2003-05-27T03:47:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aspidistra \* > \*\*Anyway, about this war … ummm… I think we’ll just be sitting this one out, if you guys don’t mind. > > At least, I haven’t caught any of the whiff of jingoism in the press that would indicate we’re being pushed that way. We’ve been a little busy with changing irrelevant figureheads and other important stuff like that.\*\* We may be a little busy with changing irrelevant figureheads at the moment, but wouldn’t little Johnny just love us to have something else to talk about instead? I wouldn’t be betting a single penny that if Gee Dubya does something silly in Iran, we’ll won’t be in there boots and all, true to the Gallipoli tradition of bravely and heroically and stupidly getting killed in other people’s wars like the loyal little lap poodles we are. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655/78 "2003-05-27T03:48:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by furt \* > \*\*I’m really surprised at the surprise here. > > GWB said repeatedly in the months after 9/11 that: > > 1. His plan to eliminate terrorism would take years, not months > 2. It would involve numerous states > 3. In some but not all cases military means would be involved. > 4. Any state that was not cooperative would be potentially be considered hostile > 5. The overall goal was to reshuffle the political deck in the middle east. > > And yet we have people aghast that Iraq wasn’t the end of the whole thing. > > None of this bears on the wisdom or folly of the plan in general; one can well think it’s the continuation of madness, or an unneeded acceleration or diversion from an otherwise good plan. But anyone who is amazed that this would be a possibility has simply not been listening. \*\* W had no right to make those statements in the first place and has no legal authority to back them up. Declaring an intention to commit crimes beforehand is not a defense to _committing_ the crime. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655/79 "2003-05-27T03:51:00Z")
> [@](#): > > “The United States has declared war on Islam. Fight or die!” Perhaps in the short term, but as the much-maligned W & Co. demonstrated in Iraq, wars can be prosecuted against terrorism-sponsors without the appearance of anti-Islamicism…at least as far as the population of the country in question is concerned. And as for the “we’ll just create more terrorists” clause, well, it’s a war. We’ll probably have more incidents here in the US, at US interests abroad, etc. If we eventually democratize and secularize the governments of the Islamic world, it’ll be worth it. There’s no reason to think that we’re fighting Islam itself. We just can’t have theocracies. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2003, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655/80 "2003-05-27T03:52:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Princhester \* > \*\*We may be a little busy with changing irrelevant figureheads at the moment, but wouldn’t little Johnny just love us to have something else to talk about instead? > > I wouldn’t be betting a single penny that if Gee Dubya does something silly in Iran, we’ll won’t be in there boots and all, true to the Gallipoli tradition of bravely and heroically and stupidly getting killed in other people’s wars like the loyal little lap poodles we are. \*\* At least your guy, Howard, confines his Bush lackeyism to just a little butt-sniffing and doesn’t flat out hump his leg the way Poodle Blair does. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/war-with-iran-no-no-hell-no/177655.md?page=5)