# Warning! Bad poetry alert! (mine, that is) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 21, 2001, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899 "2001-03-21T17:51:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899/1 "2001-03-21T17:51:13Z")
Run! Run! Take your SO, the kids, Fodger the Dog, and your Air Supply eight-tracks and run posthaste to the hills. This might not be pretty! Just testing something out. I got a mass mail about a monthy poetry contest with a cash prize, so I figured I’d enter. Hey, it’s free to enter (not all are like that…). I don’t have the link or site with me here at work, but I did manage to scare up my submission. Comments welcome! If you want, maybe you could rate it on a 1-10 scale, with 1 being really, really cwappy and 10 being a bit better. (Oh, and the contest said the maximum length was to be 20 lines, I think. Around that, anyway.) * * * Pardon me dear my errant gaze, For peeking 'round shadows sprinkled there Your visage struck me with an elegant stare Ascending like a phoenix from the golden haze. My hand flies to my lips to stave a cry And your hand copies mine, shutting a smile Eyes astonished, mouth agape for a while, I need a lifetime of hello and none of goodbye. But now you turn! and lamentably run Cold pity peeks in on my maligned soul Til overcome with sorrow I grab a nearby pole And for bringing you here thank the sun. Gracious Lady, rising, bright Bestow’d 'pon me endless dreams of light. [sub]Ugh. After a third or fourth or thirtieth reading, it kinda sucks. But oh well! This isn’t The Pit, so I know you’ll all… um… be… constructive… what’s that axe for?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899/2 "2001-03-21T18:03:14Z")
I liked it. Really, I did. And I don’t usually get into rhyming poetry (only one of mine does, and it sucks. It’s also, unfortunately, the only one I can remember off the top of my head. The rest are on my machine at home) I like the imagery. I say go for it. What DO you have to lose, if it’s free? Is the contest for [Poetry.Com](http://Poetry.Com), by any chance? I submitted one there (have it up there still, too… the one I’m the most proud of… if anyone wants to see it, let me know and I’ll either e-mail you the poem or the link or post the link here… choice is yours) ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899/3 "2001-03-21T18:19:25Z")
Nothing to lose at all, **TP**! (Seems odd to call you **TP** … but I digress…) I don’t think it was for [Poetry.com](http://Poetry.com), although I’ve been tempted to enter theirs sometimes. This one was for this site’s March contest, so I expect to hear one way or another in a few weeks. Since I didn’t have anything to lose, I don’t think I’ll be terribly distraught when I don’t win, either. 🙂 Which is good, because I don’t have the stress of “Oh I spent years working on this poem, and if they don’t accept it, I’m doomed, doomed I tell you.” Heck, if they don’t like it, they don’t like it. I don’t mind. Thanks for the support. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899/4 "2001-03-21T18:22:05Z")
Hey, I entered that too! My poem is kinda depressing. Or maybe debate inspiring-at least that’s what happened in the writing workshop I presented it in. You’re competing with \*me **dantheman**. 🙂 \*[sub]and 6 million other people[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899/5 "2001-03-21T18:50:40Z")
Now, now, now, O Edible One! How do you know it’s the same site? There’s gotta be at least … um… a gabillion jillion million that are offering free contests! I think. Anyway, make you a deal. If I win, you come East and engage in a mad sexual romp with me! If you win, I come westerly and engage in a mad sexual romp with you! Deal? Gotta love the odds… ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899/6 "2001-03-21T19:18:46Z")
The e-mail: > [@](#): > > Poets! > > Free Poetry Contest! > > Your poem could win $10,000 ! > All amateur poets invited. The International Library of Poetry has just > announced that over 1175 prizes, totaling $58,000.00, will be awarded in > the International Open Amateur Poetry Contest. The contest is open to > everyone, and entry is free. > > [http://s.maildart.net/link\_2942\_5619011\_1\_15433714\_15366730\_0\_e](http://s.maildart.net/link_2942_5619011_1_15433714_15366730_0_e) That contest? ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899/7 "2001-03-21T19:26:48Z")
I honestly can’t remember. It does look like that one, though. I’ll let you know in a few hours, when I get home. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899/8 "2001-03-21T23:17:03Z")
This is the e-mail I got… * * * A PICTURE MAY BE WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, BUT A POEM IS WORTH A THOUSAND BUCKS! ## Submit an original, English-language poem in our online poetry contest, and you could win $1000 - there’s no cost and no commitment! Click here: [http://mx01.edirectnetwork.net/cgi-bin/eclick.cgi?cm=1410&link=7007&em=](http://mx01.edirectnetwork.net/cgi-bin/eclick.cgi?cm=1410&link=7007&em=) Brought to you by The International Library of Poetry, this contest opens countless doors for amateur poets, whether you just want your work to be read by your peers, or whether you want a shot at a publishing contract, or whether you’re interested in a chance to win our monthly $1000 award for the best poem! The International Library of Poetry will award prizes totaling $58,000.00 to amateur poets in the coming months. All poems are reviewed by our editors! Click here: [http://mx01.edirectnetwork.net/cgi-bin/eclick.cgi?cm=1410&link=7007&em=](http://mx01.edirectnetwork.net/cgi-bin/eclick.cgi?cm=1410&link=7007&em=) Each submitted poem remains the property of the artist. By submitting a poem for this contest, the artist may also be eligible for the publication of the poem by The International Library of Poetry. It is absolutely FREE and a great way to get your work read by thousands! Click below to go to our site and submit your poem! [http://mx01.edirectnetwork.net/cgi-bin/eclick.cgi?cm=1410&link=7007&em=](http://mx01.edirectnetwork.net/cgi-bin/eclick.cgi?cm=1410&link=7007&em=) Ok, so it smacks of a used-car ad. But as it says over and over, there’s no cost involved. And when I submitted the poem, it still said that. And asked for no financial info. So I guess it’s harmless. Same place, **Arden**? ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899/9 "2001-03-21T23:32:15Z")
Looks that way, babe. So, you realize this means war? ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899/10 "2001-03-21T23:40:49Z")
May the best poem win! But if your skill with words is as strong as your inner beauty, it’s a war you’ve already won. :: smiles :: ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899/11 "2001-03-21T23:46:29Z")
_blush_ You seek to win me over to your side with your silvery tongue! “Bah!” I say! It can’t be done! ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899/12 "2001-03-21T23:50:12Z")
Maybe it **could** be done, if you would log onto AIM… Unless, of course, you’re cloaked on it so that I don’t bug ya! ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899/13 "2001-03-21T23:53:04Z")
Oh, and before I forget, **Arden** … HAPPY 1,000! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2001, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899/14 "2001-03-22T00:53:09Z")
:: Looks at post count in confusion:: :eek: Dear lord, I need a life. :: sigh :: No, I’m not blocking you, dear. I just discovered this morning that AIM has something called a rate limit which I have apparently exceeded (what was I saying about needing a life?). So until it goes down, no AIM. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2001, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899/15 "2001-03-22T01:01:24Z")
They do not have a rate limit. That message is simply a “bug” (and I use the term VERY loosely) in the program. AIM is a completely free service; even if they were to suddenly charge you per minute or hour, how could they get your credit card number? And yes, I’m aware AOL is owned by the biggest media empire in the universe, but in order for AOL itself to use that info, whether a partner company has it or not, they would have to ask you directly. Which I bet they haven’t done! I get the message sometimes, too. I am ALWAYS on that thing. They’re not charging me. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2001, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899/16 "2001-03-22T01:14:04Z")
I’ve only had it a year. It’s free? Really? 😛 And there’s nothing about a credit card number. What _are_ you talking about, dear? ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2001, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899/17 "2001-03-22T03:07:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\*I’ve only had it a year. It’s free? Really? 😛 > > And there’s nothing about a credit card number. What _are_ you talking about, dear? > \*\* Um… well, that’s kind of the point. What are you so afraid of that you have to close it? I was under the impression you were closing it because of the stupid rate message. sub[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2001, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899/18 "2001-03-22T03:15:32Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by dantheman \* \*\* [QUOTE] Um… well, that’s kind of the point. What are you so afraid of that you have to close it? I was under the impression you were closing it because of the stupid rate message. QUOTE] Noo… it says “you have exceeded your post rate”. Meaning they’ve set an arbitrary number to the account and when you surpass you have to wait for it to go back down, which it does on it’s own apparently. According to the help menu it’s to encourage responsible posting or some crap. I hate AOL. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2001, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899/19 "2001-03-22T03:17:00Z")
: grumble, mutter, snarl : Damned vB coding. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2001, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899/20 "2001-03-22T03:23:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\*: grumble, mutter, snarl : > > Damned vB coding. \*\* Arden, dear… It’s bullshit. There is no “post rate.” The message is pure whimsy. AOL is not tracking you to see if you’re “posting” too much. That’s complete horse manure. That message comes up either because there’s a bug in their program (I know, how unlikely!) or because AOL decided to scare its customers. Why they’d do the latter, I don’t know. It’s not to their advantage. Having me turn off the product doesn’t serve them better. It might if the program took up oodles of bandwidth, but it assuredly does not. So, since there’s no reason for them to cap your posts, the whole thing is bullshit. I’m on this thing constantly. I talk to maybe up to 5 at a time, all night long, and have been for years. I don’t turn the damn thing off if and when that message shows up. And what a surprise! I still have the program. In case I hadn’t mentioned it yet – it’s bullshit! 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-bad-poetry-alert-mine-that-is/58899.md?page=2)