# Warning: Do not insert this in your anus **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [June 30, 2006, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-do-not-insert-this-in-your-anus/362784 "2006-06-30T19:10:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-do-not-insert-this-in-your-anus/362784/1 "2006-06-30T19:10:49Z")
[http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2\_216b.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_216b.html) Annnnnnnnnnnnd now it’s a light bulb: [http://articles.news.aol.com/news/\_a/doctors-remove-lightbulb-from-mans-anus/20060629073509990018?\_mpc=news.10.3&cid=936](http://articles.news.aol.com/news/_a/doctors-remove-lightbulb-from-mans-anus/20060629073509990018?_mpc=news%2e10%2e3&cid=936) One in a million, doc! ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-do-not-insert-this-in-your-anus/362784/2 "2006-06-30T19:13:06Z")
[Scooped you.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=377817)😉 ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-do-not-insert-this-in-your-anus/362784/3 "2006-06-30T19:41:02Z")
So you did! I’ll put a link to Cecil’s column over there, too. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-do-not-insert-this-in-your-anus/362784/4 "2006-06-30T22:38:13Z")
Since you linked to the orginal article (and at the risk of questioning God) I have a few problems with said article, specificaly > [@](#): > > “Insertion of foreign bodies into the rectum,” as it is formally known, is by no means confined to gays. Many cases are ascribed to autoeroticism on the part of straights. Leaving aside victims of assault or accident, however, practitioners do have one thing in common: they’re incredibly stupid. First of all it’s not confinded to gays, true, but it’s not confined to autoeroticism in straight either. How 'bout just straight sex? Which tend to include (for some of us) a lot of “insertions” (including anal sex itself.) We’re not stupid and we don’t end up in the emergency room. > [@](#): > > You don’t need to be an Einstein to realize that insertion of objects presents enormous health risks. The rectum can become lacerated, torn, or infected. Long-term effects can include a flaccid sphincter and fecal incontinence. :dubious: Enormous health risks? No, like most (most I said) sexual practices it presents managable health risks. And from what I’ve heard flaccid sphincter and fecal incontinence are essentially myths, confined to people who are completely irresonsible about what they stick up their ass and how. (like gerbils and light bulbs) Maybe that’s not what Cecil meant but he could have choosen his words more carefully. Shall not the god of all the site do right? bete"Abraham" noir ---
**Author:** ![chorpler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chorpler/32/2888_2.png) [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-do-not-insert-this-in-your-anus/362784/5 "2006-07-01T00:33:24Z")
Several of my leaders in Boy Scouts when I was a teenager tld us that you could definitely tell who the gay guys at the supermarket were, because they were the ones always buying tampons and maxi pads. Because, of course, their sphincter muscles had become completely stretched out and useless from all that anal sex, so they had to use tampons and pads to absorb the feces that was constantly streaming out of them. At the time, with no Internet and no SDMB to help me out, I thought “Wow, it must really suck to be gay.” Now, being older and not so incredibly gullible, I’m almost positive that flaccid sphincter and fecal incontinence are not the usual consequences of anal sex or anal insertions, and it pains me to see Cecil saying that I’m wrong… ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-do-not-insert-this-in-your-anus/362784/6 "2006-07-01T00:45:43Z")
[QUOTE=chorpler] Several of my leaders in Boy Scouts when I was a teenager tld us that you could definitely tell who the gay guys at the supermarket were, because they were the ones always buying tampons and maxi pads. [/QUOTE] I think those are the _married_ guys. ---
**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-do-not-insert-this-in-your-anus/362784/7 "2006-07-01T03:59:44Z")
[QUOTE=foolsguinea] I think those are the _married_ guys. [/QUOTE] Ya. Way to encourage guys to buy tampons for their SOs, scout troop leaders! D: ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2006, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-do-not-insert-this-in-your-anus/362784/8 "2006-07-01T04:22:22Z")
You chuckle, but I imagine those Scoutmasters felt they owed it to the boys _not_ to let them grow up to be the softy new-age kind of husband who would buy his wife feminine hygiene products without a shred of shame. ---
**Author:** ![MelCthefirst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@MelCthefirst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MelCthefirst)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-do-not-insert-this-in-your-anus/362784/9 "2006-07-03T01:42:19Z")
That’s strange - I’m sure I’ve asked on here before now, but a friend of mine went to buy tampons in London’s Soho (a gay area I believe) once and the guy in the chemist said “that’s unusual seeing a woman buy these!”. She really didn’t understand what he meant but eventually concluded that it must be that men who have lots of anal sex do have leakage issues. Why else might men buy tampons? (if they don’t have female partners to buy them for). [QUOTE=chorpler] Several of my leaders in Boy Scouts when I was a teenager tld us that you could definitely tell who the gay guys at the supermarket were, because they were the ones always buying tampons and maxi pads. Because, of course, their sphincter muscles had become completely stretched out and useless from all that anal sex, so they had to use tampons and pads to absorb the feces that was constantly streaming out of them. At the time, with no Internet and no SDMB to help me out, I thought “Wow, it must really suck to be gay.” Now, being older and not so incredibly gullible, I’m almost positive that flaccid sphincter and fecal incontinence are not the usual consequences of anal sex or anal insertions, and it pains me to see Cecil saying that I’m wrong… [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![Daffyd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daffyd/32/8923_2.png) [@Daffyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daffyd)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-do-not-insert-this-in-your-anus/362784/10 "2006-07-03T05:26:31Z")
[QUOTE=MelCthefirst] That’s strange - I’m sure I’ve asked on here before now, but a friend of mine went to buy tampons in London’s Soho (a gay area I believe) once and the guy in the chemist said “that’s unusual seeing a woman buy these!”. She really didn’t understand what he meant but eventually concluded that it must be that men who have lots of anal sex do have leakage issues. Why else might men buy tampons? (if they don’t have female partners to buy them for). [/QUOTE] Maybe the chemist had a weird sense of humour and decided to screw with your friend’s mind? I can honestly say in my \*\* many \*\* decades of being Gay that I’ve never met a Gay person who needs tampons (Or told me they do) … The only time I’ve ever heard of “anal leakage” is in people who eat products with Olestra…