# Warning: Football-Like Substance Found! **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [September 8, 2008, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617 "2008-09-08T15:03:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/61 "2008-09-17T13:54:59Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > And when the entire staff gets tossed, and you get an offensive coordinator who isn’t completely retarded, maybe he won’t have to put up all his stats in the first one and a half quarters every week. > > I wasn’t watching the game but I was glancing at the [NFL.com](http://NFL.com) Gamecenter thingy occasionally, and once Smith got to 40 yards (on 10 carries) Detroit literally gave up on the run completely. In the second quarter! Funny, he’s getting the same stats that Kevin Jones got last year with the same amount of usage. So, what do you want your new user name to be? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/62 "2008-09-17T14:01:12Z")
> [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](#): > > Funny, he’s getting the same stats that Kevin Jones got last year with the same amount of usage. > > So, what do you want your new user name to be? Bah! There’s still time for all the other rookie backs to get injured. Or for a midseason coaching change. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/63 "2008-09-17T14:21:42Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Bah! > > There’s still time for all the other rookie backs to get injured. > > Or for a midseason coaching change. Or for the other pieces of the running back Voltron to come together. If you’re counting, the other pieces are Christian Okoye, Barry Sanders, Jim Brown, Walter Payton, and Natrone Means (for his postseason abilties, alone. Talk about a guy that disappeared during the regular season!) ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/64 "2008-09-17T14:43:53Z")
> [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](#): > > Or for the other pieces of the running back Voltron to come together. > > If you’re counting, the other pieces are Christian Okoye, Barry Sanders, Jim Brown, Walter Payton, and Natrone Means (for his postseason abilties, alone. Talk about a guy that disappeared during the regular season!) I always liked cars and planes Voltron way better than lion Voltron. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/65 "2008-09-17T15:01:55Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I always liked cars and planes Voltron way better than lion Voltron. Lion Voltron would still probably only get 3 and a half hards per attempt. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/66 "2008-09-17T15:05:45Z")
> [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](#): > > Lion Voltron would still probably only get 3 and a half hards per attempt. And would be benched in the third quarter for the modular combat robot who was better at catching passes out of the backfield. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/67 "2008-09-17T15:07:51Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > And would be benched in the third quarter for the modular combat robot who was better at catching passes out of the backfield. Fuckin’ robots… Can I omit Sunday from my life completely? I’m glad I haven’t been able to watch the games so far. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/68 "2008-09-17T15:54:02Z")
Detroit paper suggests that Kitna is unhappy with the new offense. He was happier with the Martz throw, throw, throw. It lost . The prick tossed 3 intercepts in the 4th quarter after we got the lead. It was throwing that killed the drives. ---
**Author:** ![DSYoungEsq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2008, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/69 "2008-09-17T20:19:16Z")
> [@gonzomax](#): > > Detroit paper suggests that Kitna is unhappy with the new offense. He was happier with the Martz throw, throw, throw. It lost . The prick tossed 3 intercepts in the 4th quarter after we got the lead. It was throwing that killed the drives. Only because he was FORCED to throw then because he wasn’t allowed to throw like a maniac at the beginning of the game. Duh. :smack: Yeah, well it sounds pretty stupid to me, too, but hey, he’s the great Jon Kitna, he’s done awesome things with a lot of different franchises, so why wouldn’t they recognize his incredible ability to win games throwing the ball??? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/70 "2008-09-18T01:25:08Z")
> [@DSYoungEsq](#): > > Only because he was FORCED to throw then because he wasn’t allowed to throw like a maniac at the beginning of the game. Duh. :smack: > > Yeah, well it sounds pretty stupid to me, too, but hey, he’s the great Jon Kitna, he’s done awesome things with a lot of different franchises, so why wouldn’t they recognize his incredible ability to win games throwing the ball??? :rolleyes: He is so much better than Joey Harrington. the day he stepped in the team played better.More crisp and team seemed more together. I guess that is more about Joey. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2008, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/71 "2008-09-18T01:52:10Z")
> [@DSYoungEsq](#): > > Only because he was FORCED to throw then because he wasn’t allowed to throw like a maniac at the beginning of the game. Duh. :smack: > > Yeah, well it sounds pretty stupid to me, too, but hey, he’s the great Jon Kitna, he’s done awesome things with a lot of different franchises, so why wouldn’t they recognize his incredible ability to win games throwing the ball??? :rolleyes: \*\*gonzomax \*\*speaks the truth. Kitna is WORLDS ahead of Joey. It was apparent the very first day. Kitna is a decent quarterback, but he’s so much better than Joey. That makes me cry thinking about it. No. It makes me puke. Okay, I’ll vomit tears. ---
**Author:** ![DSYoungEsq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2008, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/72 "2008-09-21T22:30:35Z")
What excuse for football is that being played by the Lions this week??? Poor Toledo, Ohio. They get both the Lions AND the Browns games.:eek::eek::eek: ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/73 "2008-09-22T00:15:56Z")
Football season is over. Pack it up. Done. Gone. I never thought I’d sound like the Indians fans in “Major League”… ---
**Author:** ![whatami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/85f322/32.png) [@whatami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whatami)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/74 "2008-09-22T00:21:11Z")
> [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](#): > > Football season is over. Pack it up. Done. Gone. > I never thought I’d sound like the Indians fans in “Major League”… Well, at least my niners have managed to tie the record of the other great team of the NFC west… Arizona and San Fran have the top records in the NFC west. Words I never thought I would type,. ---
**Author:** ![DadWagonDriver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/edb3f5/32.png) [@DadWagonDriver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DadWagonDriver)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/75 "2008-09-22T05:41:00Z")
> [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](#): > > Football season is over. Pack it up. Done. Gone. > I never thought I’d sound like the Indians fans in “Major League”… How long did you last? I went to a bar to catch the game on satellite (that whole Arizona thing really screws up my football schedule, ya know), and we left at halftime. It was pathetic. I feel like the high school I work at could have a chance against them. I think our starting LT would do a better job, or at least the same quality job, as Jeff Sack-us. I’m hoping that the bye week brings some changes. Here’s what I’d like to see: 1. Fire Millen (duh) 2. Fire Joe Barry - 21 points in the first half of every game? See ya. 3. Fire Rod. He hasn’t fired his son-in-law (Barry) yet. See ya. 4. Bench INTna. I honestly would rather watch Joey Harrington throw to the running back every play than watch Jon wait for the pocket to collapse, run around like a wounded donkey, and throw the ball to the opposing team ever again. 5. Start Stanton. I grew up Green, so I’m biased. But, dammit, he can’t be worse than Jon. 6. Cut the entire defensive secondary. Don’t even line anyone up back there; then at least there’s an excuse! 7. Fire Millen. Again. Then re-hire him, so we can fire him a third time. Public flogging is deserved in this case. He’s commited atrocities against humanity! Seriously, what’s my other option here? The Cardinals? The Broncos? No and no, thank you! It’s Detroit or nothing, so I’m settling for nothing right now. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/76 "2008-09-22T13:15:41Z")
I wanted to keep Martz from last year. Switching your offensive coordinator every year helps nothing. At least last year’s offense had a puncher’s chance. Don’t you ever wish for Joey again. Kitna is STILL better than Joey was. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/77 "2008-09-22T17:38:23Z")
Stanton is injured. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/78 "2008-09-22T18:54:12Z")
> [@gonzomax](#): > > Stanton is injured. No he’s not (he was, but he’s fine now). He just hasn’t been activated for a game yet because Dan Orlovsky is the #2 quarterback. ---
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/79 "2008-09-22T19:22:52Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > No he’s not (he was, but he’s fine now). He just hasn’t been activated for a game yet because Dan Orlovsky is the #2 quarterback. Loved Orlovskys only pass of the game.What’s the opposite of a thing of beauty? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/80 "2008-09-22T20:08:30Z")
> [@MadTheSwine](#): > > Loved Orlovskys only pass of the game.What’s the opposite of a thing of beauty? Roseanne Barr. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617.md?page=5)