# Warning: Football-Like Substance Found! **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [September 8, 2008, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617 "2008-09-08T15:03:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/121 "2008-10-12T22:26:58Z")
I hate football. I may have mentioned that. I’ll now shove myself into a wood chipper. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2008, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/122 "2008-10-13T03:34:27Z")
Lions lost. U of M lost to Toledo. What a weekend for a sports fan in Michigan. Toledo was 1-4 in the MAC. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/123 "2008-10-19T22:15:54Z")
…And the beat goes on. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/124 "2008-10-19T22:23:17Z")
Lions got a first down late in the first quarter. The first time they got a first down in the 1st quarter since game 3. They seem to start a little slow. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/125 "2008-10-20T13:26:23Z")
> [@gonzomax](#): > > Lions got a first down late in the first quarter. The first time they got a first down in the 1st quarter since game 3. They seem to start a little slow. I hear they expect to be ready for the 2008 season in June or July. 😃 I was watching the Gametracker thingy online… I wasn’t surprised at all when they were down 21-0, but I was really, really surprised that they came back to make it 28-21. It was almost like they spent the first half learning how football works (“Okay, so that’s the running back, and we should tackle him, right?”) and had it down by the start of the second half. I watched all the highlight shows and _nobody_ was showing the 96-yard pass. They showed the second half of it (ie., Megatron running down the sideline) during Keith Olbermann’s wrap-up on NBC. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2008, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/126 "2008-10-20T16:13:24Z")
He got about 2 yards clear and was hit perfectly by the pass. The announcers kept saying every time Calvin gets 1 on 1 coverage, they should try to hit him. Problem is it is not that easy to tell during the play. QBs seem to be kind of busy. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/127 "2008-10-23T04:40:39Z")
It is hard to believe. Favre supposedly called the Lions and told them how to beat the Packers. They still lost. How much help do we need.? ---
**Author:** ![inkysplotchy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/2bfe46/32.png) [@inkysplotchy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkysplotchy)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/128 "2008-10-23T05:16:09Z")
Not many people can grasp the nuances of the “Just go out and gunsling” advice that Favre gives. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/129 "2008-10-23T14:38:33Z")
Exerpt from “Advice from Favre”: “You know when you throw the ball to a receiver? Yeah? Well, throw it _harder_.” ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/130 "2008-10-23T18:33:56Z")
> [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](#): > > Exerpt from “Advice from Favre”: > > “You know when you throw the ball to a receiver? Yeah? Well, throw it _harder_.” and more accurately. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/131 "2008-10-23T18:35:55Z")
> [@gonzomax](#): > > and more accurately. …and to the opposing team. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/132 "2008-10-23T23:10:07Z")
Lions? :dubious: We need to redirect our ridicule to an even more inept franchise, and by golly, that would be my beloved bungling Bengals! At least the Lions have a GM. The Bengals have Mike Brown, mired in money and mediocrity, just as he likes it. OK, calling the Bengals mediocre is unfair to actual .500 teams. The Bengals suck staph-infected donkey balls. Sorry \*\*Senor Beef \*\*for the dig against your Browns. What is it with them and staph infections? ---
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/133 "2008-10-23T23:25:51Z")
It’s weird. They paid for a team from the CDC to test their entire facilities twice for possible infection sources and such, and they wiped the whole place clean both times. They also did something similar for the Cleveland Clinic (which is one of the more highly regarded medical facilities in the country) - and yet it’s still a big problem. ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/134 "2008-10-23T23:32:02Z")
> [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](#): > > I hate Wayne Fontes because his brand of mediocrity is the gold standard for “success”. Yeah, remember the glory days of 9 and 8 or 10 and 7? God they suck, and I say that having been born in Detroit, and living in the area. I’d watch if they’re going to play Stanton to see how he does, but only because I went to MSU. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2008, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/135 "2008-10-23T23:45:30Z")
Well, there was the 13 and 3 in '96… ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/136 "2008-10-24T01:15:48Z")
> [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](#): > > Well, there was the 13 and 3 in '96… :dubious: [In 1996 the Lions were 5 and 11.](http://www.sportsecyclopedia.com/nfl/det/lions.html) The previous year they were 10 and 6 and lost their playoff game. In 1997, they were 9 and 7, and lost their playoff game. My “9 and 8 or 10 and 7” comment was with reference to them losing in their first playoff game if they manage to make it in. In 1991, they were 12 and 4 (their best record), or 13 and 5 counting their playoff record, which was the only year they won a playoff game in the last 50 years. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/137 "2008-10-24T02:03:28Z")
They had Barry Sanders. [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OOeq_8AMR4) ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/138 "2008-10-24T02:09:48Z")
On the bright side, LOUNE, I expect you’ll have started a shortlist of ideas for my new name by now… ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/139 "2008-10-24T02:37:36Z")
> [@ZenBeam](#): > > :dubious: [In 1996 the Lions were 5 and 11.](http://www.sportsecyclopedia.com/nfl/det/lions.html) The previous year they were 10 and 6 and lost their playoff game. In 1997, they were 9 and 7, and lost their playoff game. > > My “9 and 8 or 10 and 7” comment was with reference to them losing in their first playoff game if they manage to make it in. In 1991, they were 12 and 4 (their best record), or 13 and 5 counting their playoff record, which was the only year they won a playoff game in the last 50 years. See, it was so far behind, I forgot what year it was. It was around that year; they went 13-3 and got crushed by the Cowboys (I believe). ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2008, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617/140 "2008-10-24T02:39:08Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > On the bright side, LOUNE, I expect you’ll have started a shortlist of ideas for my new name by now… This is true. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-football-like-substance-found/462617.md?page=8)