# Warning in "care for mother" thread **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [August 18, 2024, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-in-care-for-mother-thread/1005869 "2024-08-18T15:31:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![colinfred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colinfred/32/21338_2.png) [@colinfred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colinfred)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2024, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-in-care-for-mother-thread/1005869/1 "2024-08-18T15:31:40Z")
Continuing the discussion from [Care for Mother](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/care-for-mother/1005809/18): ---
**Author:** ![colinfred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colinfred/32/21338_2.png) [@colinfred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colinfred)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2024, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-in-care-for-mother-thread/1005869/2 "2024-08-18T15:34:27Z")
What the hell? the forum was IMHO. The OP was looking to cheat the system. Dinsdale had an opinion, and a pretty salient one. Not only was that not warning worthy, it’s what everybody should be asking, rather than trying to help him. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2024, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-in-care-for-mother-thread/1005869/3 "2024-08-18T15:52:05Z")
Cheat the system? That’s a stretch. Nothing wrong with trying to ensure an elderly loved one retains some dignity in their final years of life which includes having the funds to live comfortably enough. I see no reason why anyone should just pay through the nose when there may be legal options to conserve assets. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2024, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-in-care-for-mother-thread/1005869/4 "2024-08-18T16:09:53Z")
The OP of that thread was asking how to get Veterans’ benefits to pay for his mother’s care when she doesn’t qualify, because she and her husband have too many assets. Have I got that right? The intent of the way Veterans’ benefits are set up, it seems likely, is so that there will be funds available for the truly needy. One can argue either way on that point, the non-needy veteran has presumably earned such care as much as the needy one has, but on the other hand even Federal pockets are not infinitely deep and they have to draw the line somewhere. All the posters in that thread were careful to discuss only legal methods (perhaps this was mostly because other methods have been proven not to work, and/or because board rules require it) and so I think one has to concede that legal methods do not technically constitute cheating the system, at least not _de jure. De facto_ views might be another matter. Dinsdale might have made observations of this sort in that thread without getting a warning or being accused of thread-shitting. He did not do so. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2024, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-in-care-for-mother-thread/1005869/5 "2024-08-18T16:09:55Z")
The thread started out in, and the OP asked their question in, FQ. They were trying to understand their **legal** options (which, as a number of posters shared, _are_ complex, and may vary by state), not “cheat the system.” ---
**Author:** ![colinfred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colinfred/32/21338_2.png) [@colinfred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colinfred)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2024, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-in-care-for-mother-thread/1005869/6 "2024-08-18T16:14:11Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > Dinsdale might have made observations of this sort in that thread without getting a warning or being accused of thread-shitting Dinsdale’s question was phrased as neutrally as it could possibly be whilst getting the question over. I didn’t realise it started in FQ but it was in IMHO by the time Dinsdale asked the question. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2024, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-in-care-for-mother-thread/1005869/7 "2024-08-18T16:30:34Z")
It was a thread shit. Dinsdale should have taken it to a new thread. ---
**Author:** ![colinfred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colinfred/32/21338_2.png) [@colinfred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colinfred)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2024, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-in-care-for-mother-thread/1005869/8 "2024-08-18T16:35:12Z")
I don’t see why. If it had stayed in FQ it would have been, but [Why do you think the taxpayer should pay when your mother can afford to?] is a perfectly on point IMHO resoponse to [How do I move my mother’s money so the taxpayer will pay for her care?] ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2024, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-in-care-for-mother-thread/1005869/9 "2024-08-18T16:36:59Z")
That was not the thread for a philosophical debate on the ethics of government paid medical care. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2024, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-in-care-for-mother-thread/1005869/10 "2024-08-18T16:45:09Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > It was a thread shit. Dinsdale should have taken it to a new thread. > [@hajario](#): > > That was not the thread for a philosophical debate on the ethics of government paid medical care. This sums it up perfectly. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2024, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-in-care-for-mother-thread/1005869/11 "2024-08-18T17:13:05Z")
It’s fair, in an IMHO thread where an OP asks, “ **How** do I do XYZ” for people to question, “Is it **right** for you to do XYZ?” Imagine if the OP had been asking, “How do I get a low-income scholarship when I am not, in fact, low-income?” I don’t think Dopers would have gotten a warning for challenging the OP’s intentions. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2024, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-in-care-for-mother-thread/1005869/12 "2024-08-18T17:25:12Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > It’s fair, in an IMHO thread where an OP asks, “ **How** do I do XYZ” for people to question, “Is it **right** for you to do XYZ?” I think that part of the issue is that the thread, which the OP started in Factual Questions, got moved to IMHO by a mod. Now, IMHO is, of course, the designated forum for “legal advice,” which is, I think, what the OP really was looking for (and needs), and so, that’s why it was moved there. However, the OP asks a very specific question: “What are we legally able and entitled to do here?” The different topic of “is it **right** to do this?” is, of course, also an IMHO topic, as well, but at a minimum, it’s a threadjacking, especially when the original topic is still being discussed by the OP and others.