# \*WARNING\*- SPOILER! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 19, 2000, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886 "2000-06-19T19:08:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/1 "2000-06-19T19:08:58Z")
Bruce Willis is dead the whole time. Maggie shot Mr. Burns. Edward Norton is Tyler Durden. The chick in the Crying Game was actually a guy. The narrarator is the Once-ler. Harry died of natural causes. Darth Vader is Luke’s father. And the rock star mythos is a lie- like the Easter Bunny. Or Sasquatch. ---
**Author:** ![ReservoirDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@ReservoirDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReservoirDog)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/2 "2000-06-19T19:22:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > The narrarator is the Once-ler.\*\* I don’t get that one. ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/3 "2000-06-19T19:27:54Z")
RD, you gotta go to the classics for that one. It’s from _The Lorax_. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/4 "2000-06-19T19:37:01Z")
Keyser Soze? He’s Verbal. It’s all an elaborate hoax. The killer is a nutcase who is doing in people in accordance with the Seven Deadly Sins! It’s his wife’s head in the box! Bob woke up, and realized it was all a dream. Captain Picard actually caused the rift in time that almost destroyed all humanity. They all lived happily ever after. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/5 "2000-06-19T19:41:45Z")
The narrator did it. They all did it. ---
**Author:** ![sdimbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sdimbert/32/20204_2.png) [@sdimbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sdimbert)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/6 "2000-06-19T19:43:06Z")
The stupid castaways never, ever, _ever_ get of the fucking island. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Oh, and when they do, in a god-awful made-for-TV-movie, they just get their asses stuck on the same stupid island _again_. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/7 "2000-06-19T19:44:48Z")
Beaches – she dies. Steel Magnolias – she dies. Terms of Endearment – she dies. Bang the Drum Slowly – he dies. Saving Private Ryan – he dies. The Last Temptation of Christ – He dies. ---
**Author:** ![SmoothOperator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SmoothOperator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmoothOperator)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/8 "2000-06-19T21:24:36Z")
He dies? Oh no, say it isn’t so. : much wailing and beating of the breasts. sackcloth and ashes!: No! NO! NO! ::sorry, couldn’t control myself:: ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/9 "2000-06-19T21:42:59Z")
Smoothie, He comes _back_ (_Last Tempation of Christ II – The Return_) but, yes, He dies first. ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/10 "2000-06-19T21:48:37Z")
“Rosebud” was his sled. Kevin Costner really _is_ a Russian agent. The bomb is in Jeff Bridges’ trunk. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/11 "2000-06-19T21:51:11Z")
The Americans win. But the gruff-talking, big-hearted kid from Brooklyn takes one in the helmet in the last scene. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/12 "2000-06-19T21:51:37Z")
The Titanic sank. The Red October was defecting. The dinosaurs get off the island. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/13 "2000-06-19T21:52:56Z")
It’s the name of a club in New York. Everyone dies (sort of.) ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/14 "2000-06-19T21:59:52Z")
> [@](#): > > It’s the name of a club in New York. Everyone dies (sort of.) Ummmm, Hitchiker’s Guide? It’s his twin brother. It’s his sister. It’s his father come back from the dead. It’s his mother, wait… no, it’s actually him dressed up as her. ---
**Author:** ![funneefarmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@funneefarmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funneefarmer)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/15 "2000-06-19T22:02:05Z")
42 ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/16 "2000-06-19T22:06:16Z")
42? I thought it was 23. ---
**Author:** ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/17 "2000-06-19T23:03:47Z")
Soylent Green is made of People! ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/18 "2000-06-19T23:08:04Z")
The princess is his long-lost sister–yeah, I know they kissed in the second one, but who knew? The blonde writer did it–oh, wait, that was obvious (dumb, evil movie). And then at the end, when you think everything’s gonna be ok, all the phones start ringing–everywhere. * * * I’d do more, but I hate to do it to a _good_ movie. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/19 "2000-06-19T23:14:55Z")
Rosebud was not his sled. Rosebud was his nickname for his mistresses pussy [See RKO 280, the story of Citizen Kane]. On the X Files, the aliens ALWAYS DID IT. ---
**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/20 "2000-06-19T23:24:55Z")
Young Holland Perry is dead the whole time. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886.md?page=2)