# \*WARNING\*- SPOILER! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 19, 2000, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886 "2000-06-19T19:08:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2001, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/241 "2001-02-07T16:26:01Z")
> [@](#): > > Norman weeps for the employer he served and says, “You thought you loved him, but what about me?” The Dresser ---
**Author:** ![Alias](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@Alias](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alias)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2001, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/242 "2001-02-07T17:11:59Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by goboy \* \*\* > [@](#): > > 1. The boy’s parents touch the Evil in the toaster and explode. > John walks out on the beach he created with his mind and meets the girls he loves, but who doesn’t know him. > > John Goodman marries the Laziest Woman in the World. > \*\* Time Bandits? Somewhere in Time? Roseanne? ---
**Author:** ![monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monster)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2001, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/243 "2001-02-07T17:20:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Protesilaus \* > > * * * > > He finally realizes his entire life is a sham and escapes into the world. \*\* The Truman Show ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2001, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/244 "2001-02-07T19:01:32Z")
> [@](#): > > John Goodman marries the Laziest Woman in the World. True Stories, from 1986, starring John Goodman, Swoosie Kurtz, Spalding Gray, with songs by Talking Heads ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2001, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/245 "2001-02-07T19:42:57Z")
Everyone dies but Ripley. Everyone dies but Ripley and two others. Oops, they actually did die. And Ripley dies too. Wait, I guess she’s still alive. Space aliens are running all advertising, and you can see them with special glasses. It was Earth all along. The hero saves the world, but splits the atom with his sword. The good guy gets ‘the glow’ and beats up the bad guy. He also catches a bullet with his teeth. ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2001, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/246 "2001-02-08T00:56:16Z")
The Title Character cuts off his best friend’s finger, then dies saving some Vietnamese orphans in a men’s room at the Phoenix Airport All the world’s water is turned to ice. The Title Character is killed by an old neighbor from his chldhood, in a wrestling room. Marilyn Monroe didn’t die, she had plastic surgery and is now known as Meryl Streep. The Narrator and his sister finally have sex, after years of mutual yearning. She then marries a professional football player, and he marries the ‘bear’. Snitter and Rowf are fished from the sea by a passing boat, and are reunited with Snitter’s owner. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2001, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/247 "2001-02-08T09:21:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lawoot \* > **All the world’s water is turned to ice.** Cat’s Cradle > [@](#): > > **The Narrator and his sister finally have sex, after years of mutual yearning. She then marries a professional football player, and he marries the ‘bear’.** Hotel New Hampshire? ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2001, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/248 "2001-02-08T09:27:23Z")
Very good, Rilchiam. that’s two out of five. ---
**Author:** ![Sagesgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@Sagesgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sagesgirl)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2001, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/249 "2001-02-09T03:16:33Z")
> [@](#): > > The younger Scot must reluctantly kill his older clansman to become strong enough to fight the bad guy. Highlander IV > [@](#): > > Space aliens are running all advertising, and you can see them with special glasses. They Live! _God, I really_ don’t\* have any taste in movies, do I?\* 😃 Cary Elwes saves the future Mrs Penn with the aid of a wrestler and a Spaniard. ---
**Author:** ![Protesilaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2001, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/250 "2001-02-09T05:41:18Z")
\*Cary Elwes saves the future Mrs Penn with the aid of a wrestler and a Spaniard. \* The Princess Bride Your taste is fine. Sure, _They Live_ was cheesy, but that’s the point. Noone said we could only enjoy movies of _quality_, right? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2001, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/251 "2001-02-10T02:19:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Protesilaus \* > > She gets to act on stage, but has to go to America. He gets inspired by her when he writes. > > \*\* Shakespeare in Love. ---
**Author:** ![ignatzmouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b2d939/32.png) [@ignatzmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ignatzmouse)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2001, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/252 "2001-02-10T17:04:43Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. The stamps are in a WATER tower. > 2. Dad’s prisoner in caves below the house. > 3. There are counterfeiters in the mill. > 4. The mis-identified friends are on Blacksnake Island. And in all cases, “That case that’s keeping dad away strangely links with ours!” and… an oranguatan on the mantle the young man, not the ruffians ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2001, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/253 "2001-02-10T17:20:42Z")
Joe Maffia is Andy’s father. Somersault. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/254 "2001-02-13T21:57:54Z")
I still have not a seen a reply to these: > [@](#): > > The Captain is dirty, the prostitute really loves him (not the Captain) and the new guy learns some important lessons. [sub](and Danny Devito dies) [/sub] > > She wasn’t dead or a coward, they called in the air-strike to cover up their wrong-doing. He tells the family it was his fault (not the air-strike, btw). > > He surprises Cary Elwes and passes on the outside to win. > > They finally make it to Montana, but then one of them has to bring the others body back to Texas. > [@](#): > > **Annie-X** > The Comic Book Guy loses his virginity to Agnes Skinner (and I’m still laughing!) Well, that would be the Simpsons from two weeks ago. > [@](#): > > **LNO** > Everyone dies but Ripley. > Everyone dies but Ripley and two others. > Oops, they actually did die. And Ripley dies too. > Wait, I guess she’s still alive. > > It was Earth all along. Alien Aliens Aliens III Aliens IV (which should never have been made) Planet of the Apes Here’re some more: He cuts off his own hand to get away after feeding brains to the prick FBI agent. (“Smells delicious!”) He realizes it was his boss and his friend that set him up, kills one and the Chinese (mob) kill the other. There really is a conspiracy, he was an agent, but he didn’t kill her father. He finds out who is doing the blackmailing, but more importantly, why she was doing it. He also finds the keys. After telling the story, the man dies. As the sailors light his pyre, the ice begins to break and the monster returns, but they get away. He freaks her out by killing the assassin, but gets her back by killing the assassin hired to kill her father. The leaders brother is shot in the last robbery, but survives long enough to sky dive, then dies. The agent tracks them, finding the last robber in the midst of the 100-years storm…and lets him go to meet his fate (he dies). His friends rescue him from prostituting himself again for drugs, but have to fight their way out. He dies in the Corvette as they drive into the morning. He almost makes it out of the building before being shot in the head. He gives the agent a “message” “from Matilda.” She goes back to school. ---
**Author:** ![monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monster)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2001, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/255 "2001-02-13T23:06:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by thinksnow \* > \*\* > His friends rescue him from prostituting himself again for drugs, but have to fight their way out. He dies in the Corvette as they drive into the morning. > \*\* Less Than Zero ---
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2001, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/256 "2001-02-14T04:00:41Z")
> [@](#): > > He freaks her out by killing the assassin, but gets her back by killing the assassin hired to kill her father. Grosse Pointe Blank > [@](#): > > The leaders brother is shot in the last robbery, but survives long enough to sky dive, then dies. The agent tracks them, finding the last robber in the midst of the 100-years storm…and lets him go to meet his fate (he dies). Point Blank Here’s another “classic film.” Cary Grant finally recovers his intercostal clavicle. He pieces together the complete dinosaur skeleton. His fiancee dumps him (finally). Katharine Hepburn loves him, tells him, and ruins his dinosaur. ---
**Author:** ![sheilajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@sheilajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sheilajo)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2001, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/257 "2001-02-14T05:59:03Z")
The Long Walk, by Stephen King is not a movie and does not, I believe end this way. I think he crosses the finish line, but in any event, it is not a movie. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by eggo \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by corvidae \* > > I got that one! That’s from the Stephen King short story _The Long Walk_, isn’t it? Make mine chocolate chip. \*\* > > you got it, and you should be reciveing a cookie when you save your password [rimshot] > > \*\* ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2001, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/258 "2001-02-14T14:16:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*AlbertRose \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > The leaders brother is shot in the last robbery, but survives long enough to sky dive, then dies. The agent tracks them, finding the last robber in the midst of the 100-years storm…and lets him go to meet his fate (he dies). > > \*\*Point Blank Oohhhhhh, so close, but not quite. ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2001, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/259 "2001-02-14T15:18:04Z")
> [@](#): > > Point Blank > Here’s another “classic film.” I think you mean “Point Break”, but you’re right about the “classic” part:) ---
**Author:** ![71-Hour\_Achmed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/57b2e6/32.png) [@71-Hour\_Achmed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/71-Hour_Achmed)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2001, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886/260 "2001-02-15T00:56:33Z")
He can’t bear to throw it into the volcano, but a previous owner attacks him to take it back and falls in with it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-spoiler/22886.md?page=14)