# Warning to Darren\_Garrison \[in Deaths that sort of define a person thread\] **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [July 14, 2023, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031 "2023-07-14T14:32:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2023, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031/21 "2023-07-14T17:21:31Z")
Or maybe a four-word essay, like “It’s a Seinfeld quote”. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2023, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031/22 "2023-07-14T17:28:21Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > > [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > > > and I took it for granted that it would’ve been recognized as a _Sienfeld_ reference. > > FWIW, I was a fan of _Sienfeld_ and watched the entire series, and I didn’t get the reference. [Maybe because it’s not a direct quote.](https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Implant.html) ---
**Author:** ![ASL\_v2.0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asl_v2.0/32/3525_2.png) [@ASL\_v2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASL_v2.0)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2023, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031/23 "2023-07-14T17:33:22Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > If you get a mod note, apologize and walk away. Personally, I just walk away. Love means never having to say you’re sorry. ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2023, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031/24 "2023-07-14T17:50:37Z")
As I read it in-thread, it was a very off-color post, and @chronos was correct with the mod note. As I read it yesterday, they felt it could/should be more but was getting other opinions, which is fine, better to have multiple options rather than go straight to a warning. IMHO -at that stage- I would have stopped with the “very stern Mod Note.” But as @MrDibble pointed out, it was arguing the moderation, and not well done at that. And posting a blind, unprepared video link, especially with our ongoing youtube issues as an ‘explanation’ or ‘rebuttal’ is possibly the worst way to do it. While I _personally_ didn’t see it as doubling down, which would be an equally fair analysis of it when D\_G didn’t bother to document it in any way, it’s a response that raises eyebrows especially in regards to the direct quote above. I don’t know enough about D\_G’s body of work to know if this was a one off, or a tendency. But at best, it was extremely poorly thought out. A warning isn’t a last thread by any stretch, and maybe it’s a good way to make D\_G think about not only what, but how they post. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2023, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031/25 "2023-07-14T17:59:09Z")
Arguing Moderation in thread is a really good and fast way to get a warning. Also, stop interpreting **Chronos** ’s writing as him being annoyed or angry. You can ask him if he was, but don’t put words in his mouth. > [@kayaker](#): > > If you get a mod note, apologize and walk away. > [@Telemark](#): > > Or bring it up to the mod via PM or open an ATMB thread if you must. But not in the thread. Exactly and everyone should really know this by now. * * * * * * > [@ParallelLines](#): > > I don’t know enough about D\_G’s body of work to know if this was a one off, or a tendency. But at best, it was extremely poorly thought out. A warning isn’t a last thread by any stretch, and maybe it’s a good way to make D\_G think about not only what, but how they post. To the best of my knowledge, @Darren_Garrison is far from a problematic poster. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2023, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031/26 "2023-07-14T18:06:48Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > Arguing Moderation in thread is a really good and fast way to get a warning. This site has what is, to me, a quirky definition of “arguing” moderation. I didn’t say anything about questioning the moderation in the thread, simply posted a link clairifying my meaning. I see it often with other posters, too, when they attempt to clairify something _but do not actually question the moderation_ they are accused of “arguing the moderation” when they are not. Perhaps it would be better to simply say “do not comment on the moderation in any way in the thread” rather than to call it something that it isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2023, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031/27 "2023-07-14T18:11:43Z")
Also, if there is one thing I’m guilty of it is assuming that media references are more universally familiar than they are. I actually had a similar event with you a while back: > [@How do I found out if a book or author is really a best-seller?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-found-out-if-a-book-or-author-is-really-a-best-seller/939436/34): > > Spice Weasel is named after a Futurama reference. Spice Weasel likes Futurama quotes. Spice Weasel mentioned wanting to write SF romance. I’m 99% sure Spice Weasel got the joke I was saying to Spice Weasel. It was neither random nor off-subject. [[i find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies] ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMbEmeu85EU) ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2023, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031/28 "2023-07-14T18:22:02Z")
LOL, well at least you didn’t get a warning from me. But that time you didn’t just barelink a video in the reply either. Words do tend to help. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2023, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031/29 "2023-07-14T18:31:41Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > This site has what is, to me, a quirky definition of “arguing” moderation. I didn’t say anything about questioning the moderation in the thread, simply posted a link clairifying my meaning. But without saying that you were quoting that scene (which you really didn’t, btw), it looked to me like you said something crude, then used that obscure scene to justify what you said after the fact. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2023, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031/30 "2023-07-14T18:44:28Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > then used that obscure scene to justify what you said after the fact. Here’s the thing–that is not an obscure scene. That video is from the Turner Broadcasting System’s official Youtube channel. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2023, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031/31 "2023-07-14T18:46:25Z")
Here’s the thing-You didn’t quote the scene. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2023, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031/32 "2023-07-14T18:49:35Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Here’s the thing–that is not an obscure scene. Not every scene from _Seinfeld_ is gold, Darren. Gold! ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2023, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031/33 "2023-07-14T18:53:52Z")
Why is it that the people with breasts on this board must always suck it up and take a “poor attempt at humor” in stride? When @Chronos solicited mod input on the post, I spoke up and said I found the comment gross and gratuitous. Nothing said in this thread persuades me it was anything else. The fact that it was humorous 30 years ago to some on a television program does nothing to make it less offensive in the present day. Furthermore, it wasn’t even an accurate statement about Ms. Mansfield’s death or why her death should be considered a “death that sort of defines a person.” When I think of Jayne Mansfield, I don’t automatically think, “Oh, yeah. She was the one who died because her breasts smothered her.” When I think of a death that sort of defines a person, I remember the father of one of my brother’s girlfriends who was a cop. He died in the line of duty. He was directing traffic for a funeral and got run over by the hearse. Not a famous person, but his death absolutely defines him. I recommended a warning. @Chronos showed restraint and didn’t issue one until the non-clarification clarification was posted. We’re trying so hard to reduce casual misogyny on this board. Please think twice about if your post will be found humorous by many posters. In this case, I think not. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2023, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031/34 "2023-07-14T18:54:14Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Here’s the thing–that is not an obscure scene. That video is from the Turner Broadcasting System’s official Youtube channel. How many videos are on the Turner Broadcasting System’s Official YouTube Channel™? Are they all well known to everyone? ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2023, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031/35 "2023-07-14T18:57:56Z")
They can’t all be Ovaltine. > [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Here’s the thing–that is not an obscure scene. That video is from the Turner Broadcasting System’s official Youtube channel. Obscure isn’t in reference to the show _Seinfeld_, one of the most celebrated sitcoms of all time. It’s that particular quote, made out of context. There were a number of memes, catch phrases, and popular lines that came from that program. (The first one that pops into my mind is, “not that there’s anything wrong with that”.) But your quote isn’t one of them. It’s an obscure quote from a popular (now classic) show. And devoid of context, it’s not something the average person is going to pick up on. Or even someone who is a big fan of the show and has seen pretty much every episode, many more than once. (I’m talking about myself here.) It was a really poor choice of a quote, very tone deaf, and your defensiveness around it and general response to the moderation and other criticism does not look good at all. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2023, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031/36 "2023-07-14T19:10:13Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > your defensiveness around it Let the record show that _I_ didn’t actually create the ATMB thread… ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2023, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031/37 "2023-07-14T19:11:51Z")
Personally, watching @Darren_Garrison’s _defense_ of the usage is convincing me that the warning is deserved. If they had, perhaps, apologized for an extremely off color, inaccurate, and sensationalist post and a mea culpa for posting a bare link with zero explanation, I’d be of other minds. The “it was a joke” and “everyone should share my cultural assumptions” defense is beyond threadbare. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2023, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031/38 "2023-07-14T19:12:34Z")
Know your audience. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2023, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031/39 "2023-07-14T19:20:52Z")
> [@ParallelLines](#): > > a mea culpa for posting a bare link with zero explanation The link _was_ the explanation. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2023, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031/40 "2023-07-14T19:20:52Z")
> [@ParallelLines](#): > > Personally, watching @Darren_Garrison’s _defense_ of the usage is convincing me that the warning is deserved. If they had, perhaps, apologized for an extremely off color, inaccurate, and sensationalist post and a mea culpa for posting a bare link with zero explanation, I’d be of other minds. Exactly my thought. If it went like, “Crap, I thought you all would get that, my bad, never mind, won’t do that again.” I’d say, we’ve all done that before. (I know I have.) The “no apology, I did nothing wrong, it’s your fault if you didn’t get it” response is pretty bad. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/warning-to-darren-garrison-in-deaths-that-sort-of-define-a-person-thread/987031.md?page=3)