Another vote for CAT FUD.
A bunch of guys in Hell, and a dog. One guy is saying, “Well, I always assumed he was just a bad dog.”
Two guys and a dog on a lifeboat, all looking at a third guy; “Sorry, we need to eat someone to survive, and you drew the short straw.”
“Yes, they are all fools, gentleman. But the question remains; what kind of fools are they ?”
At a butcher shop : “Well I never thought about it, but I’d let the kid go for, oh, two fifty a pound.”
A janitor walks into a room with a giant robot; “Well, it looks like our test run got a little more interesting.”
The one about home surgery, “Stop squirming, Edna, I’ve almost got it !”
“They needed a scapegoat. They found Dwayne”
“Vampires ! Beware the vampires” - spoken by the only guy on the street with a reflection
“Look at the laboratory equipment, the scribbled calculations - curiosity killed these cats.”
Two explorers in a field, with a huge water buffalo a foot behind them. “Buffalo breath ? Buffalo breath ?! Need I remind you of your incessant little grunting noises ?!”
A pair of moose, the male fat and in front of a TV, the female dressed like a housewife holding a phone; “It’ the call of the wild.”