# Was I really offensive? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 18, 2010, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560 "2010-04-18T21:12:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560/1 "2010-04-18T21:12:58Z")
I wrote something on my site years ago that mentioned that if the Italian Pasta Mafia knew how Dominicans cook their pasta we (Dominicans) would be in trouble. We have a lot of Italian visitors, and my best (male) friend is from Calabria and has read the article in question. Nobody had mentioned this before until today. I got a very angry letter from an Italian woman accusing me of calling all Italians mafiosi. I didn’t apologize, seeing as I believe I did not insult anyone but fictional Italian Mafiosi, and I didn’t offer to change the wording in question. I told her I meant no offense, and explained to her that I absolutely did not mean that all Italians are mafiosi (or Pasta Mafiosi even). Is talking about a fictional Italian criminal organization out of bounds. Was I really offensive? I am open to believing I am wrong, but I believe I am not. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560/2 "2010-04-18T21:16:46Z")
Some people are crazy. If you’re going to write anything on a public forum, you have to just be prepared to hear all kinds of crazy stuff about it. Not all public forums out there are as civilized as we are. Blog writers and the like have to have very, very thick skin. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560/3 "2010-04-18T21:49:21Z")
I’m of Italian descent, was a member of an Italian parish growing up, went to that church’s school. I don’t get offended by Mafia references, and I have never gotten that whole “disrespecting Italians” response to shows like the Sopranos. I have never, ever gotten the vibe that people think most (or even “a lot of”) Italians are connected. I have never felt offended by such a reference, though I suppose it’s possible. Maybe if some clod was belaboring it, in an obviously derisive “you know those wops” kind of way. Never encountered that though. Anyway, I wouldn’t (and didn’t) take offense. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560/4 "2010-04-18T22:22:22Z")
When Robert DeNiro was offered honorary Italian citizenship, the Sons of Italy lodged a protest, that his roles were offensive. The real Italians didn’t understand what the big deal was. And to expand on Alice’s post, people are even more crazy on the internet because they have [anonymity](http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/3/19/). Any anyway, talking about the mafia shouldn’t offend Italians. Only the southern Italians, and they’re all in the mafia anyway. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560/5 "2010-04-18T23:19:25Z")
I find it less offensive than jokes about rednecks (see my location), and I’m a Jeff Foxworthy fan. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560/6 "2010-04-19T00:08:29Z")
“Yeah? Whaddya gonna do about it, send Mario and Luigi over to break my kneecaps?” Maybe that wouldn’t be the best response. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560/7 "2010-04-19T04:52:57Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > “Yeah? Whaddya gonna do about it, send Mario and Luigi over to break my kneecaps?” > > Maybe that wouldn’t be the best response. Au contraire! That is the ONLY response! ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560/8 "2010-04-19T05:02:32Z")
So how do Dominicans cook pasta? ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560/9 "2010-04-19T06:33:22Z")
Signora Bitchalotti didn’t call because it was offensive (it’s not), but because she has a screw loose. Ignore. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560/10 "2010-04-19T09:06:47Z")
People use the term “mafia” for all sorts of groups - the Gay mafia, the PTA mafia, the Jewish mafia…it has become a term that simply suggests a select sub-group of people who might be somewhat dogmatic in their approach. It no longer has the purely “Italian” connotation, and even in your statement of Italian **Pasta** Mafia, you are making the jest that there are a bunch of Italians with rolling pins roaming the streets, and tossing macaroni at innocent bystanders. Ignore the thin-skinned bitch and move on… ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560/11 "2010-04-19T11:00:35Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > “Yeah? Whaddya gonna do about it, send Mario and Luigi over to break my kneecaps?” > > Maybe that wouldn’t be the best response. > [@FriarTed](#): > > Au contraire! That is the ONLY response! Nah, I think the OP should comb the internet for articles about pasta related crimes and e-mail the links to the woman as proof that there is so a pasta mafia. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560/12 "2010-04-19T12:48:48Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#): > > So how do Dominicans cook pasta? Too soft, and with a bunch of ingredients that would never be found in Italian pasta. It’s good in its own way, much like New York pizza is good but is a far cry from Neapolitan pizza. > [@DMark](#): > > People use the term “mafia” for all sorts of groups - the Gay mafia, the PTA mafia, the Jewish mafia…it has become a term that simply suggests a select sub-group of people who might be somewhat dogmatic in their approach. > > It no longer has the purely “Italian” connotation, and even in your statement of Italian **Pasta** Mafia, you are making the jest that there are a bunch of Italians with rolling pins roaming the streets, and tossing macaroni at innocent bystanders. This was almost word to word my response to her. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560/13 "2010-04-19T15:25:51Z")
I have to say I’m currently in love with the thought of large goons roaming around and randomly accosting passers-by with thrown manicotti. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560/14 "2010-04-19T15:30:34Z")
> [@Snickers](#): > > I have to say I’m currently in love with the thought of large goons roaming around and randomly accosting passers-by with thrown manicotti. And binding them with tagliatelle, and pelting them with pasta shells. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560/15 "2010-04-19T15:35:32Z")
Luca Brasi sleeps with the linguini. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560/16 "2010-04-19T15:56:45Z")
> [@Snickers](#): > > I have to say I’m currently in love with the thought of large goons roaming around and randomly accosting passers-by with thrown manicotti. Hey! You think the pasta mafia does things **randomly**? I assure you that the don of the pasta mafia does nothing randomly: his associates target only undesirables, like people who twirl their spaghetti using a spoon, and break into their houses to break their linguini to express the don’s dissatisfaction. ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560/17 "2010-04-19T16:42:55Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Nah, I think the OP should comb the internet for articles about pasta related crimes and e-mail the links to the woman as proof that there is so a pasta mafia. This. Oh please please please… ---
**Author:** ![Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560/18 "2010-04-19T17:08:00Z")
That’s a nice rigatoni marinara you got there. Be a shame if somethin’ happened to it. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560/19 "2010-04-19T17:09:44Z")
Some people just live to be offended. It justifies their persecution complex. Ignore her. ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560/20 "2010-04-19T17:10:09Z")
I ran into this problem (sort of) when I lived in Germany. I tend to throw the term “nazis” around - as in Grammar Nazis - and Germans get really upset about that sort of thing. I learned to modify my usage and used mafia instead never thinking that anyone would find that offensive. But apparently I was wrong… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-really-offensive/536560.md?page=2)