# Was I "sexually assaulted" by my gym coach? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 28, 2016, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-sexually-assaulted-by-my-gym-coach/753357 "2016-04-28T18:51:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Not\_Carlson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bc79bd/32.png) [@Not\_Carlson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_Carlson)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2016, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-sexually-assaulted-by-my-gym-coach/753357/21 "2016-04-29T01:43:04Z")
10 seconds is a long time to just stand there with your thumb down someone’s shorts! Maybe if was just a 1 second tweak followed by some comment like “Yep, that elastic’s a bit too loose there Mace. Better get the waist tightened”. Still inappropriate, but not necessarily skeevy. I’d say there’s definite grounds to suspect you’re coach was either testing the waters or going as far as he thought he could while playing out the rest of his fantasy in his mind. But as to whether you could call it “sexual assault”, I really dunno. It’s murky water. > [@Stringbean](#): > > If you have to ask, the answer is no. Good god in heaven above! I hope you don’t actually believe that. ---
**Author:** ![spamforbrains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@spamforbrains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spamforbrains)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2016, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-sexually-assaulted-by-my-gym-coach/753357/22 "2016-04-29T02:12:32Z")
I have nothing about the thumb-down-the-shorts, which is extremely weird, but this: > [@](#): > > Anyway, after that died down he expressed an interest in me in a way that I wasn’t used to from teachers - asking about my family, for example. Then one day he offered to drive me home, which I accepted and which he did. He stopped in front of my house, looked at the house, looked back and me and said good-bye. After that no interest at all. Nothing at all happened in the car but it always struck me weird. The teacher might have been concerned for some reason about neglect or abuse, and just seeing your home set his mind at ease. Or he was trolling for a victim and just seeing your home put you out of the running. Poor, neglected kids are much more likely to be victimized. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2016, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-sexually-assaulted-by-my-gym-coach/753357/23 "2016-04-29T02:12:34Z")
maybe not sexual assault “by the book,” but your description sounds like he might have been “testing the waters,” so to speak. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2016, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-sexually-assaulted-by-my-gym-coach/753357/24 "2016-04-29T02:57:55Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > The fact you froze and were puzzled is an indication that _something_ wasn’t normal or right, and that sort of instinct is usually pretty good. > > I agree that it wasn’t sexual assault, but it was approaching the concept. > > … This. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2016, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-sexually-assaulted-by-my-gym-coach/753357/25 "2016-04-29T03:52:51Z")
> [@spamforbrains](#): > > I have nothing about the thumb-down-the-shorts, which is extremely weird, but this: > > The teacher might have been concerned for some reason about neglect or abuse, and just seeing your home set his mind at ease. Or he was trolling for a victim and just seeing your home put you out of the running. Poor, neglected kids are much more likely to be victimized. Thank you. I could never quite put my finger on why this bothered me, but you have articulated it exactly. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2016, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-sexually-assaulted-by-my-gym-coach/753357/26 "2016-04-29T05:03:01Z")
OK, i can see that “sexual assault” isn’t really in play here, even if the move was inappropriate. There was no touching of the pee-pee (or other sexual areas), and that makes sense as a bright line for “sexual assault”. Thanks for the input. Makes lots of sense what most of you are saying. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2016, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-sexually-assaulted-by-my-gym-coach/753357/27 "2016-04-29T14:33:02Z")
Was he trying to stop you from backing into anything, or prevent you from being hit by something passing behind you? ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2016, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-sexually-assaulted-by-my-gym-coach/753357/28 "2016-04-29T15:21:05Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > . > > Freshman in college, our swim class was in the nude (but the teacher wore trunks, presumably because he didn’t get into the pool). One day he was teaching a frog kick or something, and he had each of us get on a table, out of the water, and frog kick against his hands so that he could tell if we were doing it right (we were all still nude, of course). I was last, and when I was done he gave me an odd look that I couldn’t figure out. Nothing else happened. umm, WTF? ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2016, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-sexually-assaulted-by-my-gym-coach/753357/29 "2016-04-29T23:55:50Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > umm, WTF? Up until the 1970s it wasn’t uncommon for males to swim in the nude in single-sex environments (like HS/college swimming classes, YMCAs, private gyms, summer camps, etc); I started a thread about it many years ago in GQ that get’s revived over & over again. > [@jz78817](#): > > maybe not sexual assault “by the book,” but your description sounds like he might have been “testing the waters,” so to speak. Agreed 100%. ---
**Author:** ![purplehearingaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@purplehearingaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehearingaid)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2016, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-sexually-assaulted-by-my-gym-coach/753357/30 "2016-04-30T00:39:46Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Yep. That’s exactly right. > > Nope, no acknowledgement. At least none that I was aware of. But I think I was trying to pretend like nothing was happening so that none of the other kids would notice. And no one did. if it made you feel that you had been touch improperly your coach was out of line . There was no reason for him to touch you in this manner . ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2016, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-sexually-assaulted-by-my-gym-coach/753357/31 "2016-05-01T22:26:38Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > Was he trying to stop you from backing into anything, or prevent you from being hit by something passing behind you? Yes, the coach’s erection. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-sexually-assaulted-by-my-gym-coach/753357.md?page=1)