# Was I wrong to ask for my money back? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 22, 2022, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-wrong-to-ask-for-my-money-back/968374 "2022-07-22T12:44:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2022, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-wrong-to-ask-for-my-money-back/968374/41 "2022-07-24T18:01:05Z")
> [@DavidNRockies](#): > > When I worked in an e-commerce role, it was pretty amazing how many people went through the purchasing process, screen after screen, only to “drop off” (ie, abandon the order) when they got to the (first) page that displayed the cost of shipping. I’ve contributed to that count a number of times myself! ---
**Author:** ![Esprise\_Me](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprise_me/32/2947_2.png) [@Esprise\_Me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprise_Me)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2022, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-wrong-to-ask-for-my-money-back/968374/42 "2022-07-24T18:17:24Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > It’s a little weird that he didn’t pay you back without asking, it’s a little weird that he didn’t pay you back when you mentioned it, and it’s a little weird that you asked in the first place. My thoughts exactly. If I were the OP, I wouldn’t have asked, but if I were the brother, I would’ve paid it back and would’ve been mortified if I had to be reminded. I guess the brother’s conduct is weirder. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2022, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-wrong-to-ask-for-my-money-back/968374/43 "2022-07-24T18:49:00Z")
Also consider there may have been an equalizing transaction conducted between the wives. MY WAG While on a outing wife 1 borrows cash from W2 to make a secret purchase, let’s say it’s a gift for the OP 😉. W1 promises to reimburse W2 later at home. Later W2 when asked by husband for some tipping cash, she directs him to W1 for payment. Who whips out the cash without delay. Thereby confusing the husband. Who later confuses his brother. Just wait and see, You’ll get your 40 back. ---
**Author:** ![notadoctorshh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/notadoctorshh/32/9286_2.png) [@notadoctorshh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notadoctorshh)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2022, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-wrong-to-ask-for-my-money-back/968374/44 "2022-07-29T12:48:01Z")
Oddly enough, this was a recent topic in my business class (e.g., difference between [contracts and agreements](https://juro.com/learn/agreement-vs-contract)) of course in this scenario, the connotation is slightly different. It’s just interesting to see that an unspoken agreement can lead to false assumptions and miscommunication (now this is in my behavioral science class - which in this case, is more relevant!) The social dynamics between humans are weird. From a purely technical standpoint, you are not in the wrong because _technically_ you’re entitled to that money. But from a social/very-stretched moral perspective, it can be considered rude that you had asked in the first place knowing what he had willingly done for you and for your family. If you want to dive deeper for an answer - you can actually read up on autism. Because there is a spectrum in autism that lacks most of the basic social cues (i.e., giving someone a token of gratitude in exchange of a favor) and this is somewhat akin to that. Of course, I don’t know what culture you and your family are from - or what ethnicities you are (this plays a big role) so I’m just going off a limb. tl;dr - there’s no direct answer because there are too many factors in play! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-i-wrong-to-ask-for-my-money-back/968374.md?page=2)