# Was Jayson Blair the Grapist? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 28, 2003, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950 "2003-05-28T04:26:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950/1 "2003-05-28T04:26:11Z")
Check out [this poem](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/blairpoems2.html) written by the esteemed reporter, journalist, plagiarist and nutjob. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950/2 "2003-05-28T04:30:19Z")
scared…so scared… ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950/3 "2003-05-28T04:40:32Z")
Sorry, I confused the subject of the rant with Scott Bairstow, the subject of [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=186358) rant. They just seemed to go together. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950/4 "2003-05-28T05:02:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tars Tarkas \* > \*\*scared…so scared… \*\* I’m sorry, **Tars.** Here, we can lock this poem away where it can’t hurt anyone anymore. I guess I should have provided a stronger warning on the horror that awaits anyone clicking the link. (You know it’s bad when it reduces a four-armed Martian to tears.) ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950/5 "2003-05-28T05:28:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tars Tarkas \* > \*\*scared…so scared… \*\* This post has been . . . eh, obvious joke. Nevermind. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950/6 "2003-05-28T05:30:50Z")
WTF??? That asshole wrote for the NYT produced that kind of crap? I was writing better shit in freakin’ _elementary_! The old grey lady ain’t what she used to be! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950/7 "2003-05-28T05:47:33Z")
Ho-lee fuck. That’s some mighty bad poetry. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/13edae/32.png) [@Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Cheatem_Undhow)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950/8 "2003-05-28T05:55:30Z")
Whether or not he’s the grapist, Jayson Blair is clearly a Vogon. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950/9 "2003-05-28T06:26:50Z")
Gah. My daughter’s 5th grade Valentine poetry was better. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950/10 "2003-05-28T07:23:59Z")
I don’t doubt it, **Arden** , I don’t doubt it at all. Man, that thing is bad. A rhyme scheme more simplistic than “roses are red”, no discernable meter (even “I am rubber and you are glue” has _meter_), and lines that don’t even rhyme. Emily Dickinson’s approximate rhymes are one thing, but this guy tried to rhyme “alone” with “home”. Huh, look at that. “lines that don’t even rhyme”. According to Jayson Blair, I guess I’m a poet. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950/11 "2003-05-28T08:00:30Z")
With all of those colors, it’s a wonder he isn’t writing about how Clinton likes his Super Mexicans deep fat fried. The day I write poetry that bad is the day I go public with my amazing new discovery in the field of illicit pharmaceuticals. That crap is so bad it _alone_ deserves to get him tossed off the staff of the NYT. - Cra\*ppy is a level of quality somewhere between godawful and drivel. - Goats are animals that are often the subject of deranged fantasies. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950/12 "2003-05-28T08:28:41Z")
> [@](#): > > **The green sparkle on the pupil, illicits a smile, and allows for a moment, to feel my tears dry.** Wow… it doesn’t scan… …and the naive dependence on mechanical spell-checking elicits a groan. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950/13 "2003-05-28T09:51:46Z")
I’m sure this is a case for DNFTT in real life. This guy is trying to make a career out of being a bad journalist and generally bad writer; why don’t we all just ignore him, and let him drop out of sight and sink to his natural level in life? (Mind you, I’m not sure where that level would be - based on his track record with language and communication so far, I’m not sure I’d trust him to say “Do you want fries with that?” right … ) ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950/14 "2003-05-28T10:29:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Derleth \* > **With all of those colors, it’s a wonder he isn’t writing about how Clinton likes his Super Mexicans deep fat fried.** But if he just buys those supercheap fat burners…! Gotcha ya! > [@](#): > > Cra\*ppy is a level of quality somewhere between godawful and drivel. > > \*\* “Cra\*ppy”? Cramppy? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950/15 "2003-05-28T14:38:53Z")
Cra_ppy? Looks like someone stole my ast_risk. that’s okay, I’ll share. Hey, if he can do it, anyone can: I’m tempted to try my own hand at shockingly bad verse… \*\*Chickeny (adj.) 1: Of, relating to, or resembling chickens. 2: Having a comb, gizzard, crop and laying eggs. A broken cloud, hurt and sad, trudging a scarry path Im really bummed because the world is sucky and I need a bath. The light came into sharp relief, and pierced my eyes like pins The sky turned to night I remember it mistily, then threw me in the rubbish bin. I fell apart, and broke the window, and my soul dropped a hammer on my toes. I hardened my heart, forever-and-more, who would I love? No one knows. I fixed the window, and I like being alone, but my life is one big mess. Where others see loveliness I don’t see a damn blasted thing, maybe I have glaucoma. I’m a sociable kind of guy - ouch, my heart. This pie? No, its not mine, help yourself. The sun came out, and my jaw dropped open I’m all self-conscious and stuff – remember, I hardened my heart in the second stanza. Holy goofball, Batman, my internal organs are revolting, blah, blah rhymes with stanza. Are you my evil twin? Is this a soap opera I’m living in? My jaw dropped open, fantasticalness in my peripheral vision. I like you for your mind, honestagod! I’m not a horny pigeon! My jaw is still open, I really like to play Scrabble. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it yet, but, hey “Rabble, rabble!” Do you have the time, on your nice Roex watch which you bought from the creepy guy on the street corner? Man, he sure did swindle you. Your car is like a summer sunset, rust, and brown and orange And can you tell me the 3rd word that ends in -gry, when you tell me what rhymes with orange? I havent said anything about chickens yet, which is somewhat perplexing. Can anyone tell me what the deal is with Bill Clinton and Mexicans? Ankles, chicken-like in their shape Hair, just the color of a Rhode Island Red hen, delicately descending to your nape You sure are obvious, I could read you like a book, I’m sure I only wish you were a good one, like Nineteen Eighty-Four. After all this angst and sorrow, your clucking has captured my hea rt. If I let you crash at my place for a few days, you wanna look after my “cat”?\*\* ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950/16 "2003-05-28T15:01:47Z")
Holy shit that’s so awful it gave me cramps. ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950/17 "2003-05-28T15:20:58Z")
Holy sh_t, \*\*Kn_ckers\*\*, that is the most ::cough:: beautiful ::gag:: thing I’ve read in my entire life! Seriously, that’s freakin’ hilarious! ::sniff:: I love it! ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950/18 "2003-05-28T16:13:40Z")
The coding was a beast, though. Ouch. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950/19 "2003-05-28T16:42:46Z")
Don’t you know that you’re my hero? [sub]my eyes! my eyes! stop the burning![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950/20 "2003-05-28T17:03:05Z")
Gah! He’s the real-life [Gildward](http://www.adventurers-comic.com/enc.html#encg)! It all seriousness, did he publish that dreck or was it a private poem that was somehow made public. I’ve definately written some truely awful poems to SOs that I’d rather not see the light of day. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-jayson-blair-the-grapist/177950.md?page=2)