# Was just "defriended" by a childhood friend because I'm not a Born Again Christian **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 25, 2014, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493 "2014-09-25T03:17:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493/41 "2014-09-25T20:13:40Z")
> [@lost4life](#): > > You should have just poked her first. That was the initial encounter he eluded to. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493/42 "2014-09-25T20:38:48Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > Yup, coach. THIS… combined with a Diet Coke… is why I must now get a new keyboard. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493/43 "2014-09-25T21:01:45Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > Wait a minute. I don’t know facebook at all, but this was a message everyone could see? On the ‘wall’. Not a private conversation? It was a private conversation. I would NEVER post something like that on her Timeline! I’m not shocked you guys think that little of me. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493/44 "2014-09-25T21:03:20Z")
What about all the other stuff people have asked? Did you ask her this out of the blue? Are the two of you close, or are you just acquaintances? ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493/45 "2014-09-25T21:10:57Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > It was a private conversation. That just moves your actions from super-creepy to creepy. I don’t think defriending you had anything to do with her religious status. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493/46 "2014-09-25T21:12:04Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > It was a private conversation. I would NEVER post something like that on her Timeline! I’m not shocked you guys think that little of me. Were your kids friends with her? They must be sad. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493/47 "2014-09-25T21:21:21Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > It was a private conversation. I would NEVER post something like that on her Timeline! I’m not shocked you guys think that little of me. So rather than sexually harassing her her publicly, you did it privately. Because a guy whispering in your ear that he wants to fuck you is so much better than a guy yelling it on the street. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493/48 "2014-09-25T21:28:25Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > I had asked her about our sexual exploration as kids. She thought just me mentioning it was sinful. Lookingbat her Timeline, not surprised she’s religious. Sad she felt need to “unfriend” me. Was this sexual activity something that happened between the two of you? If so, I don’t personally find it nearly as creepy as others seem to. ---
**Author:** ![Lobot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce7236/32.png) [@Lobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobot)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493/49 "2014-09-25T21:50:28Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > Was this sexual activity something that happened between the two of you? If so, I don’t personally find it nearly as creepy as others seem to. The OP is 36. We’re looking at an event that occurred around 30 years ago. Kids sometimes do things that, once they’re adults, they keep tucked away in a compartment in their head that is kept well out of sight from their everyday conscious thoughts. **etv78** , you need to understand that not everyone wants to remember such things. Is she married? If not, would you have sent that message to her if the reverse were true and she _was_ married? Those are clues as to why such messages are ill-advised at best. ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493/50 "2014-09-25T21:54:52Z")
> [@Lobot](#): > > The OP is 36. We’re looking at an event that occurred around 30 years ago. > > Kids sometimes do things that, once they’re adults, they keep tucked away in a compartment in their head that is kept well out of sight from their everyday conscious thoughts. > > **etv78** , you need to understand that not everyone wants to remember such things. Is she married? If not, would you have sent that message to her if the reverse were true and she _was_ married? Those are clues as to why such messages are ill-advised at best. I don’t see why marriage makes a difference. I really doubt any adult woman (or any well adjusted adult man) wants to be reminded of childhood sexual experimentation. Gross. I think it would be in extremely bad taste to privately message the girl I was sleeping with _last_ year, and say ‘hey remember when…’. And that was just a year ago. ---
**Author:** ![Lobot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce7236/32.png) [@Lobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobot)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493/51 "2014-09-25T22:03:59Z")
> [@Hector\_St\_Clare](#): > > I don’t see why marriage makes a difference. I really doubt any adult woman (or any well adjusted adult man) wants to be reminded of childhood sexual experimentation. Gross. > > I think it would be in extremely bad taste to privately message the girl I was sleeping with _last_ year, and say ‘hey remember when…’. And that was just a year ago. I agree. The point I’m making is that if the OP thinks it’s inappropriate to send such a message to a married woman, then that highlights that it crosses sexual boundaries and really shouldn’t be sent to pretty much anyone. Of course, the OP may think it’s totally fine to send such a message to a married woman. But I’m being optimistic. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493/52 "2014-09-25T22:05:46Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > It was a private conversation. I would NEVER post something like that on her Timeline! I’m not shocked you guys think that little of me. Well, you know, mommy boards. Your stock pretty much tanked. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493/53 "2014-09-25T22:09:18Z")
> [@Lobot](#): > > The OP is 36. We’re looking at an event that occurred around 30 years ago. > > Kids sometimes do things that, once they’re adults, they keep tucked away in a compartment in their head that is kept well out of sight from their everyday conscious thoughts. > > **etv78** , you need to understand that not everyone wants to remember such things. Is she married? If not, would you have sent that message to her if the reverse were true and she _was_ married? Those are clues as to why such messages are ill-advised at best. Eh, wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. But then, there’s virtually nothing about my sexual history I wouldn’t be fine with being reminded of. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493/54 "2014-09-25T22:19:43Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > It was a private conversation. I would NEVER post something like that on her Timeline! I’m not shocked you guys think that little of me. Still creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493/55 "2014-09-25T22:25:38Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > “Sexual exploration as kids” does not sound as normal as you think it does. It’s worse if autocorrect changes ‘as’ to ‘of’. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493/56 "2014-09-25T22:26:57Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > I’m not shocked you guys think that little of me. It’s a pretty creepy story, and you’re not giving a lot of details for some reason. You’re actually encouraging people to make assumptions and putting yourself in a bad light. ---
**Author:** ![Lobot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce7236/32.png) [@Lobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobot)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493/57 "2014-09-25T22:40:22Z")
The one question I’d like to get an answer to is why even bring up the subject with her? It smacks of someone looking to drag an unwilling accomplice into their own masturbation fantasy. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493/58 "2014-09-25T23:33:25Z")
> [@Lobot](#): > > The one question I’d like to get an answer to is why even bring up the subject with her? It smacks of someone looking to drag an unwilling accomplice into their own masturbation fantasy. In McAlester, Oklahoma, you can get arrested for that. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493/59 "2014-09-26T01:55:42Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > Eh, wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. But then, there’s virtually nothing about my sexual history I wouldn’t be fine with being reminded of. Really? “Hi, remember me? I’m the kid who lived next door who stroked your twat when we were five?” Yeah, that’s not creepy at all. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493/60 "2014-09-26T02:06:38Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Assertions made in thread title not supported by information presented by OP. Well, there _is_ a way to empirically determine this. The OP should go around to all his Facebook friends he’s played doctor with, post the same comment, and (1) make note of their religion while (2) observing how they react. If there’s not a large enough sample size (and I suspect there isn’t) to draw any meaningful conclusions, the rest of us should pitch in to aid the experiment. I’ll start by asking my brother when I see him next… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-just-defriended-by-a-childhood-friend-because-im-not-a-born-again-christian/699493.md?page=4)