# Was Kurt Colbain gay? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 18, 2005, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658 "2005-02-18T03:48:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658/1 "2005-02-18T03:48:55Z")
From _All Apopogies_ > [@](#): > > What else should I be > All apologies > What else should I say > Everyone is gay > What else should I write > I don’t have the right > What else should I be > All apologies Listen to the Unplugged version. “What else should I say?” Then; “Everyone is gay?” spoken as a question. (Is that what I should say?) He’s married “in the sun”. (in public) But “burried”. “All alone is all we are”, him and what’s-her-name. Why did he kill himself? Peace, mangeorge ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658/2 "2005-02-18T03:50:26Z")
> [@mangeorge](#): > > Why did he kill himself? Because he foresaw a lifetime of waking up every morning next to Courtney Love. Well? **I’d** kill myself, too! ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658/3 "2005-02-18T03:59:46Z")
_That’s_ her name. But, if you were gay would it make much difference, really, she was? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658/4 "2005-02-18T04:21:25Z")
He was not openly gay (he may have identified as bisexual at some point but I don’t know if that was an “actual” orientation or if he was one of those “everyone is bisexual therefor I am bisexual” things). I recall reading at least one interview with him in The Advocate in which he talked about how while he was growing up he was attacked as a “fag” because he was interested in art and music. ---
**Author:** ![Alias](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@Alias](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alias)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658/5 "2005-02-18T04:21:32Z")
I remember rumors that he had some homosexual experiences, and could have possibly been bi, but I obviously don’t know for sure. Also, if he wasn’t gay before, I think waking up with Courtney every morning probably didn’t do wonders for his heterosexuality. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658/6 "2005-02-18T04:34:30Z")
> [@mangeorge](#): > > _That’s_ her name. > But, if you were gay would it make much difference, really, she was? Well, I’d like to imagine that even if I were straight, I’d have enough taste and self-respect to find Courtney Love eminently unfuckable. To give my opinion to the question in the OP, however, I would say he was, if anything, bisexual. However, I don’t really think that had anything to do with his suicide. Depression and addiction (possibly the most vicious cycle on earth) most likely fed each other to the point that he simply couldn’t take it anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Othersider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/cab0a1/32.png) [@Othersider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Othersider)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658/7 "2005-02-18T07:04:04Z")
> [@Alias](#): > > Also, if he wasn’t gay before, I think waking up with Courtney every morning probably didn’t do wonders for his heterosexuality. Very, very true. One of my friends once (rather aptly) described her as “a placenta with lips”. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658/8 "2005-02-18T07:22:50Z")
[Interview](http://www.nirvana-music.com/kurt-cobain-advocate-article.html) with Kurt Cobain in the gay and lesbian magazine _The Advocate_ in 1992. > [@](#): > > **Advocate:** Because people thought you were gay and you had gay friends, did you ever wonder if you might be gay? > > **Kurt Cobain:** Yeah, absolutely. See I’ve always wanted male friends that I could be real intimate with and talk about important things with and be as affectionate with that person as I would be with a girl. Throughout my life, I’ve always been really close with girls and made friends with girls. And I’ve always been a really sickly, feminine person anyhow, so I thought I was gay for a while because I didn’t find any of the girls in my high school attractive at all. They had really awful haircuts and fucked-up attitudes. So I thought I would try to be gay for a while, but I’m just more sexually attracted to women. But I’m really glad that I found a few gay friends, because it toally saved me from becoming a monk or something. > > I mean, I’m definitely gay in spirit, and I probably could be bisexual. But I’m married, and I’m more attracted to Courtney than I ever have been toward a person, so there’s no point in trying to sow my oats at this point. [Laughs] If I wouldn’t have found Courtney, I probably would have carried on with a bisexual lifestyle. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658/9 "2005-02-18T09:43:30Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Well, I’d like to imagine that even if I were straight, I’d have enough taste and self-respect to find Courtney Love eminently unfuckable. To be fair, I think she was less repulsive 10-12 years ago. She couldn’t have been more repulsive, anyway, and he was also on a lot of drugs. Anyhow I think we’ve settled the gay question. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658/10 "2005-02-18T12:27:11Z")
Courtney Love was never a supermodel, but she wasn’t always the walking train wreck that she is now. That’s the drugs. Kurt Cobain was a heavy drug user, too, and this probably played a part in his suicide. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658/11 "2005-02-18T12:59:58Z")
Courtney’s very masculine, though. I know I’m more attracted to boyish kind of women, and for that reason I’d class myself around 7.5 on the heterosexuality scale. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658/12 "2005-02-18T14:12:17Z")
> [@](#): > > Why did he kill himself? According to his suicide note: > [@](#): > > I need a recording career like I need a hole in the head. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658/13 "2005-02-18T14:26:48Z")
I recall reading an interview in which Courtney Love said Kurt often expressed an interest in trying sex with a man, but never actually went throughg with it. She says she actually ENCOURAGED him to give it a try with his bisexual pal Michael Stipe, but that Kurt never followed through. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658/14 "2005-02-18T15:21:41Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > Courtney’s very masculine, though. I’m not sure what she is, but masculine wouldn’t have been in my top 10 adjectives for her. ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658/15 "2005-02-18T17:53:08Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > I recall reading an interview in which Courtney Love said Kurt often expressed an interest in trying sex with a man, but never actually went throughg with it. > > She says she actually ENCOURAGED him to give it a try with his bisexual pal Michael Stipe, but that Kurt never followed through. Michael Stipe is bisexual? I thought he was “just” gay? ---
**Author:** ![Burrido](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Burrido](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burrido)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658/16 "2005-02-18T18:21:28Z")
Sexually confused was my take after reading Heavier Than Heaven by Charles Cross. I think Kurt really did love Courtney but realized probably that she didn’t love him back. Heart Shaped Box is a song about just that, a Heart Shaped Box that courtney gave him when they were first seeing each other. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658/17 "2005-02-18T18:38:59Z")
> [@Lochdale](#): > > Michael Stipe is bisexual? I thought he was “just” gay? I remember Michael Stipe used to have a “thing” with Natalie Merchant, back when she was in 10,000 Maniacs. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658/18 "2005-02-18T23:18:55Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > I remember Michael Stipe used to have a “thing” with Natalie Merchant, back when she was in 10,000 Maniacs. From what I knew that was always just rumor and speculation. I didnt think there was anything there. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658/19 "2005-02-18T23:32:31Z")
[Interview](http://www.dragonwinds.com/natalie/reviews/stipe.shtml) with Michael Stipe and Natalie Merchant in _The Independent_ in 1998: > [@](#): > > **Natalie Merchant:** After that meeting in Buffalo I went home on a high. I felt that Michael had began to understand why I’d sought him out, and he must have thought I was pretty cute, because we went on to become lovers. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658/20 "2005-02-18T23:33:36Z")
Ok then, I’ll just stand over here in the corrected area. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-kurt-colbain-gay/290658.md?page=2)