Sold Cober
Strakel, starkle, little twink,
Who the deuce you are, I think.
I’m not under what they call
The affluence of inchohol.
I’m not drunk as thinkle peep,
I’m just a little slort sheep.
Tee martoonis make a guy
Fool so feelish,
Dunno why.
- unknown
A bit over 20 years ago, while a foolish sailor, I tried Absinthe in Japan, where it was legal. I had been told that it was illegal in the US because it was cured with opium. There were no sugar cubes or flaming gasses involved in this. It was clear, burned like fire and had the extremely vile taste of licorice. My only thought was to rinse that taste out of my mouth with a Sapporo. Oh yes, beer is good after Absinthe. Listerine might be even better. Anecdotally, I heard of a shipmate on that same trip who bought a bottle in Thailand, and has no memories of the four days we spent there. Opium, wormwood, alchohol poisoning? Quien sabe?
I’ve been something of an absintheur for several years now, and I know folks with a lot more knowlege on the subject still, so let me clear up a few things.
Czech absinthe is crap. It bears almost no resemblance to vintage absinthe in flavor or composition.
In addition to Spain, Portugal and the UK, under the EU regulations absinthe is now legal in Germany and, after a fashion, in France. French law still prohibits selling spirits under the name “absinthe” but several absinthes are now being sold there, ith slightly reduced alohol contents, as “aux extraits de plantes d’absinthe”. EU regulations limit the concentrations of thujone to 10 mg/kg, but the protocols used to test thujone content are unreliable at best, so the exact levels are not clear.
While I have never had the pleasure, enough well preserved vintage absinthe is still in existance that many people have had the opportunity to partake. I am told the taste is not overly bitter and is, in fact quite pleasant. The thujone content of vintage absinthe has not been studied to any degree of scientific certainty, but some studies are underway.
The non-alcohol effects of absinthe are very exaggerated. I have tried several, including Spanish retail brands, a French-made brand marketed only for export to the UK, and a few Swiss-made bootlegs. The bootlegs, in particular, contain just about as much wormwood as would have been used in vintage absinthes, but they are not, even emotely, hallucenagenic. If they produce any effect outside of alcohol inebriation, the consensus among the absintheurs I know is that it is a slightly more lucid drunkeness than usual. Personally, the main secondary effect I’ve felt is that it makes me want to eat.
The better modern absinthes I have tried vary in flavor from a rather monchromatic flavor of star-anis to more complex, almost floral textures. The best of them are downright tasty.
Thujone bears only a superficial resemblance to THC, but has been shown in animal models not to produce any cannabinoid responses, and to have almost no affinity for cannabinoid receptors.
There is no really good reason to think that thujone, specifically, is responsible for any seconday effects produced by absinthe. Thujone was villified by the same turn-of-the-century science which told us that marijuana caused people to become violent killers, but heroin was a non-addictive alternative to morphine. Thujone acts as a convulsant, but only at EXTREMELY high doses, far more than could be taken in drinking absinthe, even if the thujone content was 20 times what you find in modern products. Thujone would have to be as potent as LSD in order to produce a meaningful pharmacologic effect at sutch minute concentrations. Animal models suggest that thujone may act as a mild antagonist to the neurotransmitter GABA in lower doses, but that is about it. There are numerous other chemicals in absinthe’s herbal ingrediants which could contribute to the effects, but there is nothing which is even remotely as psychoactive (or toxic) as the alcohol.
The only way to make absinthe is to distill it. Do-it-yourself kits which advise soaking herbs in vodka or grain alcohol do not produce anything resembling proper absinthe. The bitterest constituents of wormword, called absinthins, are largely eliminated by the distilation process, allowing the musky aroma of the herb to remain without making the drink unpalatable. Keep in mind that distillation without a license is illegal in the US, and it’s not all that safe, either.
The legal status of absinthe in the US is rather obscure. It is mentioned nowhere in the US Code, but the Code of Federal Regulations does prohibit the use of wormwood in products sold or imported for human consumption. Basically, absinthe isn’t ILLEGAL, like heroin, it just isn’t LEGAL, like, say, caviar preserved with borax.
Anecdotally, I heard of a shipmate on that same trip who bought a bottle in Thailand, and has no memories of the four days we spent there. Opium, wormwood, alchohol poisoning? Quien sabe?