# Was the waitress wrong or am I? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 24, 2011, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879 "2011-08-24T08:05:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/21 "2011-08-24T14:01:04Z")
I’d probably have done the same as you, hence you’re in the right. 😃 Mentioning it would have been better, but that depends on the place you were eating in - in some places it would seem like a big imposition to query something on the bill. Also, I tend to tip generously, so reducing the tip a little isn’t as big a deal. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/22 "2011-08-24T14:37:41Z")
Not everyone is in the mood for confronting restaurant staff to get a small bullshit charge removed from the bill, but asking the waitress politely to have it taken off seems reasonable. Then if the request is refused, you can dock the tip that same small amount with an entirely squeaky-clean Ann Landers-approved conscience. Maybe if you’re ordering iced tea in Misssissippi or some other southern backwater you have to expect ultra pre-sweetened tea as a matter of “culture”, but as the OP is listed as hailing from N.Y. state, “sweet tea” should be pre-approved. What is it with this abomination? Is the default assumption now that adults have the taste buds of three-year-olds and can’t handle tea without a ton of sugar in it? Is pre-sweetened coffee next? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/23 "2011-08-24T14:47:05Z")
Ideally you should have specified, but foremost it was her job to ask, and by not asking provided less than stellar service. I probably would have opted for the inquire-about-bill approach, but don’t think you were wrong for handling it the way you did, either. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/24 "2011-08-24T14:54:02Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > It’s your fault for being a pussy and not telling the restaurant to take the ice tea off your bill. It costs them nothing for a glass of ice tea. Ice **d** tea. Please. Ice **d**. Not ice. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/25 "2011-08-24T14:57:06Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > What is it with this abomination? Is the default assumption now that adults have the taste buds of three-year-olds and can’t handle tea without a ton of sugar in it? Is pre-sweetened coffee next? :dubious: Word. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/26 "2011-08-24T15:15:24Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > It costs them nothing for a glass of ice tea. > [@corkboard](#): > > A glass of iced tea costs the restaurant a few pennies. Nothing? Pennies? I run a business that has a deli area, I oughta hire you two to do my purchasing. I’m staying out of this debate, but it pisses me off when people think that everything is free for the restaurant and the owner just puts all the money in his pocket. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/27 "2011-08-24T15:27:53Z")
> [@Balthisar](#): > > Yeah, just be more assertive next time. If someone tried that in Michigan (good tea by default, not sweet), I’d make them set it straight. > > Oh, wait, it happens all the time to me at McDonald’s now since they’ve introduced crappy, hillbilly, sweet tea. > > On the other hand if you should go to Kentucky or Ontario or some other foreign place and order iced tea (not “ice tea”) and literally spit it out on the table because it scared you because it wasn’t what you were expecting, then it’s fair to have to pay for a proper, unsweetened tea after having received the first abomination – after all, that (somehow) is their so-called “culture.” Dislike sweet tea all you want, but there’s no call to sneer at large swaths of people whose tastes are different from yours. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/28 "2011-08-24T15:30:25Z")
Joey, I think you’re being a bit unreasonable here. The all-in marginal cost of serving one glass of iced tea (including cost of the tea, the water, the electricity to brew the tea and freeze the ice cubes and wash the glass, and pro-rated labor costs of the waitress and dishwasher, and pro-rated rent for the time and space used by the customer to drink the iced tea, and all kinds of other pro-rated stuff) has got to be pretty damn small. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/29 "2011-08-24T15:37:45Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Nothing? Pennies? I run a business that has a deli area, I oughta hire you two to do my purchasing. I’m staying out of this debate, but it pisses me off when people think that everything is free for the restaurant and the owner just puts all the money in his pocket. Yeah, flavored water and a couple ice cubes can really add up. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/30 "2011-08-24T15:38:14Z")
(Thanks, **Ellen Cherry**. That was getting my hackles up a bit.) ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/31 "2011-08-24T15:39:30Z")
I don’t think docking from the tip was appropriate. The bill was incorrect (as it had an extra beverage) and should have been brought to the waitresses attention. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/32 "2011-08-24T15:41:36Z")
I’d probably have done the same thing, because I’m ridiculously passive when it comes to confrontation. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/33 "2011-08-24T15:44:29Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Joey, I think you’re being a bit unreasonable here. The all-in marginal cost of serving one glass of iced tea (including cost of the tea, the water, the electricity to brew the tea and freeze the ice cubes and wash the glass, and pro-rated labor costs of the waitress and dishwasher, and pro-rated rent for the time and space used by the customer to drink the iced tea, and all kinds of other pro-rated stuff) has got to be pretty damn small. How much is it, give me a number. Two posters put it at under a nickel. I’ve been in the business for long enough to know that’s not the case. I can assure you I’m not only am I not being unreasonable, I’m being extremely realistic and if you talk to other people in the restaurant business. They’ll back me up. Again, to re-iterate, I’m not defending the OP or the waitress/restaurant, all I’m saying is that the iced tea isn’t free and it costs more then pennies. If you agree with that, then we’re not really arguing. For the record, at my work, we sell iced coffee, before we started selling it, I did the cost analysis on it. It costs me (with the cup and straw) 55¢ per unit. Granted, I’m sure coffee costs more then tea, but I just wanted to comment on the ‘flavored water and ice’ jab. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/34 "2011-08-24T15:46:18Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > It’s your fault for being a pussy and not telling the restaurant to take the ice tea off your bill. It costs them nothing for a glass of ice tea. But iced tea is more expensive. You should have pointed out that they gave you the wrong drink. The restaurant shouldn’t have billed you for something you sent back. ---
**Author:** ![Krouget](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b38774/32.png) [@Krouget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krouget)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/35 "2011-08-24T15:59:19Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > You should have clarified with her that the sweetened was not what you wanted, and then when charged should have asked to have it removed from the bill. > > Whether she then had to make it up or whatever is not your issue. > > It could also have been an error that it was charged to your bill - maybe they have some form of electronic drinks ordering system and she just forgot to cancel the first drink when ordering the second? > > Which would hardly be deserving of a docked tip (IMHO) This is my stance. Also, a similar situation has happened, and I simply had the charge removed from the bill, without problems. If the rest of the meal went especially well, I would say she was undeserving of having the charge deducted from her tip. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/36 "2011-08-24T16:12:47Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Maybe if you’re ordering iced tea in Misssissippi or some other southern backwater you have to expect ultra pre-sweetened tea as a matter of “culture”, but as the OP is listed as hailing from N.Y. state, “sweet tea” should be pre-approved. Well, speaking for these Southern backwaters round here, we _call_ it “sweet tea.” I expect an order for “iced tea” would cause the waitress to pause, and ask. And you mean “sweetened” and “approved.” _Pre_-sweetened tea would be before the sugar gets put in. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/37 "2011-08-24T16:17:31Z")
Wow, there sure seems to be a lot anger for the South in this thread. “Sweet tea? I blame the South! Damn grey coats!” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/38 "2011-08-24T16:20:17Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Maybe if you’re ordering iced tea in Misssissippi or some other southern backwater you have to expect ultra pre-sweetened tea as a matter of “culture”, but as the OP is listed as hailing from N.Y. state, “sweet tea” should be pre-approved. When I visit Houston, I know to specify unsweetened iced tea without being asked. I’m aware the default down there is sweet tea. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/39 "2011-08-24T16:26:28Z")
Several people said I should have raised the issue about the bill. In my opinion, I did raise the issue. When I told her I wanted unsweetened tea rather than sweetened tea and sent back the undrank sweet tea. So I figured the situation was clear and there wasn’t any point in discussing it again when I got the bill other than for the sake of having a public argument. ---
**Author:** ![fifty-six](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@fifty-six](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fifty-six)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/40 "2011-08-24T16:35:28Z")
It was a mistake I am sure of it. Plus refills on tea are.usually free. If you downed it or dupmed it out and asked for a refill of unsweetened tea youwould not have been charged for two teas. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879.md?page=3)