# Was the waitress wrong or am I? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 24, 2011, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879 "2011-08-24T08:05:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/61 "2011-08-24T20:02:10Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > We probably should have it as a banner at all the borders - iced tea in Canada is highly likely to not be what US Americans expect it to be. I learned this from working with some people from Texas - they (like you, **Balthisar** ) seemed to be personally affronted that we don’t do iced tea/sweetened tea the same way as places in the US. Personally, I make no apologies for it. I _like_ crappy fountain iced tea. Maybe this was a factor. This restaurant is in Buffalo. Maybe the pernicious effects of Canadian tea sweetening have stealthily crept across our borders and affected the purity and essense of our natural fluids. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/62 "2011-08-24T20:04:12Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > She didn’t “accidentally” charge me for two teas. Based on what little I know about restaurant billing, I’m pretty sure she \*did \*accidentally bill you for two teas. It happens all the time when orders are confused. You seem to be holding on to this to justify your actions because it’s the only way that your deducting the price of the tea from her tip makes sense. ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/63 "2011-08-24T20:24:58Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Based on what little I know about restaurant billing, I’m pretty sure she \*did \*accidentally bill you for two teas. It happens all the time when orders are confused. You seem to be holding on to this to justify your actions because it’s the only way that your deducting the price of the tea from her tip makes sense. This. You also seem convinced that asking about the bill would have caused an argument, which in my experience is rarely the case. If she refused to take it off then I would have expressed my displeasure to her and the manager and left NO tip. Deducting the price of the tea from the tip is meaningless when the waitress doesn’t know what you would have tipped in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/64 "2011-08-24T20:34:12Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > The thing is, IMO, you were a dick about it. Not giving the waitress a chance to fix a simple error is impolite. You wouldn’t have gotten an argument, you would have received an apology. Your actions were unjustified and IMO mean-spirited. > > She made a simple mistake; you were wrong. So she got the order wrong and she got the bill wrong. At what point do you decide that a waitress’s job performance has crossed the line into poor service that merits a reduced tip? ---
**Author:** ![nivlac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@nivlac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nivlac)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/65 "2011-08-24T20:35:55Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > The thing was I didn’t order two teas and send one back. She didn’t place the second tea on my bill until I asked for a replacement for the sweetened tea. So she was fully aware she was charging me for a replacement. She didn’t “accidentally” charge me for two teas. Doesn’t matter. Should’ve just opened your mouth and politely explain why you felt the two-tea charge was incorrect. Like I said, I’ve never been in any eating establishment that didn’t just correct the tab for something as inconsequential as that. You obviously felt that the two-tea charge was wrong since you adjusted the tip because of it. BTW you could’ve done the tip adjustment (which is just a passive way of handling the situation) even if the waitress had refused to take off the extra tea charge. As it was, the waitress probably just thought you were a cheapskate. So, just speak up next time. Life’s not fair, but it’s even more unfair when you don’t speak up. ---
**Author:** ![OneMissedPost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e7dd6/32.png) [@OneMissedPost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneMissedPost)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/66 "2011-08-24T20:35:59Z")
I wouldn’t have tipped her; however… > [@nivlac](#): > > Should’ve just opened your mouth and politely explain why you felt the two-tea charge was incorrect. that is what you should have done. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/67 "2011-08-24T20:59:36Z")
You were wrong. You should have specified what you wanted originally. I am from New York and every single time I have ever ordered “iced tea” it has come sweetened. it would never even occur to me to ask differently here. You also should have disputed the bill, not just taken the money out of the tip. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/68 "2011-08-24T21:09:16Z")
Speaking as a Texan who nonetheless dislikes the sweet tea that is the default around here, I can say that what kind of tea is the default in a given area should be irrelevant – if a restaurant serves both around here (and they pretty much ALL either serve both or only UNsweetened tea), they ALWAYS ask “Sweet or unsweet?” when I order iced tea. I cannot remember ever having had a server assume I want sweet tea and serve it to me without asking\*. On those occasions when I’ve received the hummingbird food by mistake, I’ve never once encountered the slightest resistance to replacing it, nor being double-billed. That said… Why on earth didn’t you point out a mistake on your bill? Your explanations on this point seem like nothing but attempted justifications for stiffing her on the tip. I’m especially unconvinced by your blithe assumption that she tried to charge you for two drinks on purpose – I always err on the side of assuming error instead of malice, because doing so gives others a chance to save face, which leads to less conflict and therefore makes ME happier. Your story makes you sound to me like you prefer to think the worst of people, which sounds like a grouchy way to go through life. \*I HAVE, however, encountered the reprehensible practice of servers and/or restaurants assuming I want FLAVORED iced tea and serving it without checking with me. When I want iced tea, I want it to taste like TEA, damn it – not like mango-jasmine douche or perfume. It should taste BROWN. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/69 "2011-08-24T21:20:31Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > People from the southern part of the US expect sweetened tea when they order iced tea. People from the rest of the US expect unsweetened tea. I have no idea what y’all are serving in Canada. 🙂 It really could be anything - sweetened, unsweetened, fountain from a mix, a can of iced tea; it’s a total crap shoot. It’s probably best if visiting Americans stick to our delicious, not-made-from-HFCS Coke. 🙂 > [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Maybe this was a factor. This restaurant is in Buffalo. Maybe the pernicious effects of Canadian tea sweetening have stealthily crept across our borders and affected the purity and essense of our natural fluids. {Mr. Burns voice}Excellent.{/MBV} ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/70 "2011-08-24T21:22:09Z")
First, it sounds to me like she’s very new at what she’s doing and making some dumb rookie mistakes. That said, any waitress, regardless of how long they’ve been at the job, is going to try and keep you happy until after you’ve left the tip. She earns on the tip, not on whatever profit margin her owners are making on the actual glass of iced tea. What I’m saying is that it’s in her interest to make sure your order and the bill are correct and that you leave happy, so that she doesn’t end up with a shitty tip when you leave. She screwed up with the original tea, but big deal. If she hadn’t made a mistake on the bill as well, you wouldn’t have even thought about it while leaving the tip. If you’d have brought it up to her at the end, I have zero doubt that she would have had it fixed immediately. Of course, you didn’t give her that chance. Dick move on your part, if you ask me. Didn’t we have a thread somewhere here once about free refills and whether or not you should be allowed to change your drink as one of your free refills. It was quite a contentious debate if I recall. Not really relevant to this thread, but I was reminded of it is all. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/71 "2011-08-24T21:45:20Z")
Sweetening my tea before serving it to me is like adding barbecue sauce to my steak or tartar sauce to my swordfish. It just flat-out shouldn’t be done. It’s lovely if they bring my tea and offer me cream, milk, lemon, sugar, honey, and my choice of artificial sweeteners, but if the restaurant puts any of that stuff in it before serving it, I’m sending it back. > [@Chef\_Troy](#): > > \*I HAVE, however, encountered the reprehensible practice of servers and/or restaurants assuming I want FLAVORED iced tea and serving it without checking with me. When I want iced tea, I want it to taste like TEA, damn it – not like mango-jasmine douche or perfume. It should taste BROWN. Agreed, although I’ve learned when I’m in an ethnic restaurant, I ask. Iced tea in a Pakistani restaurant, for example, is not going to be what you’re used to. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/72 "2011-08-24T22:03:19Z")
[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:71, topic:593879”] Sweetening my tea before serving it to me is like adding barbecue sauce to my steak or tartar sauce to my swordfish. [/QUOTE] Not really. Tea sweetened after being iced is not the same as _sweet tea_. If a place has too-sweet sweet tea, I can’t order unsweet and make my own at the table; I have to drink something else. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/73 "2011-08-24T22:16:54Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > Tea sweetened after being iced is not the same as _sweet tea_. Concur. You’ll never get the sweetener to dissolve properly to create the right effect. This is why I can’t make cold-brewed tea. ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/74 "2011-08-24T22:37:12Z")
Some questions for the OP: How were the two teas listed on the bill? Sweet tea and iced tea, or the same wording twice? Were they the same price? Would refills be free with either or both? FWIW, I’m with you regarding having to bring it up at the end. Sometimes I’d be OK with bringing it up, and ideally I would. But other times, I just don’t want the hassle, especially after already having to bring up the issue of the wrong drink in the first place. I don’t go to eat in a restaurant to have them make more work for me with their mistakes. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/75 "2011-08-24T23:07:05Z")
Count me among those who see this as simple mistake. Waitress may well have meant to take it off the bill but, in a rush to do other tasks, it slipped her mind. I feel confident that she would have gladly removed it had you brought the billing error to her attention. ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/76 "2011-08-24T23:10:40Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Didn’t we have a thread somewhere here once about free refills and whether or not you should be allowed to change your drink as one of your free refills. It was quite a contentious debate if I recall. Not really relevant to this thread, but I was reminded of it is all. Didn’t a brain-damaged poster in that thread claim something about “If something is printed on the menu, it is against the law to question it!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Bri2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/48db29/32.png) [@Bri2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bri2k)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/77 "2011-08-24T23:24:31Z")
I think you should have a clean conscience about how you handled this, **Little Nemo**. The waitress was wrong to charge you for two drinks and if she’s upset about the tip, she’s got no one to blame but herself. Why should you go throught the stress of trying to get the bill corrected to make up for her mistake? Short the tip and go, guilt-free. Bri2k ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/78 "2011-08-24T23:27:10Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > Not really. Tea sweetened after being iced is not the same as _sweet tea_. If a place has too-sweet sweet tea, I can’t order unsweet and make my own at the table; I have to drink something else. For many of us, all sweetened tea is too sweet. That’s why all tea that I serve is brewed hot. If the customer wants it sweetened, they can add it to the tea before it’s poured over ice. Are you saying there’s a difference between “sweetened iced tea” and “sweet tea”? If so, please forgive this question from an ignorant Northerner, but what is the difference? ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/79 "2011-08-24T23:27:38Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > You were wrong. > > You should have specified what you wanted originally. I am from New York and every single time I have ever ordered “iced tea” it has come sweetened. it would never even occur to me to ask differently here. > > You also should have disputed the bill, not just taken the money out of the tip. :rolleyes: I don’t order “iced tea” anymore , I always specify “unsweetened”. Too many places only have sweetened , and in places that serve both kinds the default seems to be sweetened, just like the default Coke is non-diet and the default coffee is caffeinated. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879/80 "2011-08-24T23:29:56Z")
I personally think taking it out of her tip was really passive aggressive. What was wrong with catching her and saying, “Oh hey, you forgot to take the sweet tea off the check.” Worst case scenario is she didn’t forget, but is likely shamed into taking it off for you anyway. If she argued, then you can ask for the manager. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-the-waitress-wrong-or-am-i/593879.md?page=5)