# Was this a homosexual act? (NSFW?) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 29, 2008, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126 "2008-12-29T22:57:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2008, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/1 "2008-12-29T22:57:53Z")
I’ve wanted to ask opinions about this for quite some time, so now I’m gonna do it. My best friend and I were thirteen-fourteen at the time; he was actually run over by an automobile and, as you might imagine, very seriously injured. The injury that prompts this thread was that both his arms were broken in two places each. He was put into a cast that extended from the back of his head to his waist; his arms were crossed on the front of the cast and were completely immobile. He was physically helpless and as his best friend, I often performed certain tasks that he couldn’t manage: I unzipped his pants and held his penis as he urinated and then I tidied him up. On occasion, I found it necessary to almost remove his pants and underwear, lower him onto a toilet and wipe his rear end when he was finished. We lived in a very small town and it was common knowledge that I performed these services for him; I actually had several fist fights with guys who maintained that I had to be queer because only a queer would touch another guy’s penis. The way I saw it was that he was my best friend; we had been best friends since we were four years old and he needed my help. I don’t think what I’ve described is homosexual at all but I wonder------what’s the general opinion. ---
**Author:** ![EpiGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8c91f0/32.png) [@EpiGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EpiGirl)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2008, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/2 "2008-12-29T23:00:39Z")
No, that’s ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2008, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/3 "2008-12-29T23:01:32Z")
Did you get an erection while you preformed these services for him? When you’re with your darling Marcie, do you need to think about those days in order to get an erection? Do you wish that you were having sex with men instead of women? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then you might be gay. If the answer to all of these questions is no, then I wouldn’t worry about it. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2008, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/4 "2008-12-29T23:03:32Z")
I wouldn’t consider it homosexual in the least. By that criteria (touching genitalia) every parent who changes nappies would be a pedophile. Every nurse a prostitute, since they get paid for it. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2008, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/5 "2008-12-29T23:03:55Z")
So by these kids’ logic, any male nurse in a hospital or nursing home who has ever assisted a helpless man is queer too, then? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2008, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/6 "2008-12-29T23:05:16Z")
Touching another guy’s penis for the purpose of rendering aid necessary for hygiene is quite different from manipulating said penis for the purpose of providing sexual gratification. Those guys you mentioned were absolutely wrong - and I would say rather ignorant and stupid to boot. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2008, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/7 "2008-12-29T23:05:48Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > So by these kids’ logic, any male nurse in a hospital or nursing home who has ever assisted a helpless man is queer too, then? :rolleyes: By kid logic, probably so. There’s a reason we don’t let children make decisions that actually matter. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2008, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/8 "2008-12-29T23:08:14Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > So by these kids’ logic, any male nurse in a hospital or nursing home who has ever assisted a helpless man is queer too, then? :rolleyes: I’m talking small town Texas in 1953-1954; male nurses were automatically considered to be homosexual. Male nurses, for that matter, were a rare species in that time and place. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2008, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/9 "2008-12-29T23:09:39Z")
Did you jerk him off or give him a blowjob while you were there? No? I didn’t think so. Performing hygenic services for a helpless person isn’t homosexual. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2008, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/10 "2008-12-29T23:11:27Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Did you get an erection while you preformed these services for him? When you’re with your darling Marcie, do you need to think about those days in order to get an erection? Do you wish that you were having sex with men instead of women? > > If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then you might be gay. If the answer to all of these questions is no, then I wouldn’t worry about it. I’ve never actually worried about it; I did what I would have done for any friend, even a girl. I wish. Its just that sometimes the memories of that time run through my head, for no particular reason, and I remember the insults and violence associated with it. I’m old, I need reassurance. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2008, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/11 "2008-12-29T23:11:56Z")
FWIW, I was listening to Jason Ellis’s radio show during the segment, “Dude, am I gay?” when a caller repeated a similar case. IIRC, Jason yelled at the guy for even thinking that was gay. I think the rest of the show is stupid, but that segment can be pretty damn funny. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2008, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/12 "2008-12-29T23:16:32Z")
You could have been Liberace and Rock Hudson and it wouldn’t have been a homosexual act. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2008, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/13 "2008-12-29T23:19:15Z")
> [@Hockey\_Monkey](#): > > Performing hygenic services for a helpless person isn’t homosexual. This sums it up nicely. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2008, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/14 "2008-12-29T23:33:57Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > So by these kids’ logic, any male nurse in a hospital or nursing home who has ever assisted a helpless man is queer too, then? :rolleyes: Well I was a male psych nurse in the 1970’s and there must have been 10 times the percentage of openly gay guys working there compared to anywhere else I’ve worked, so the opposite logic doesn’t apply - because they are male nurses they aren’t gay? But that’s not the point the OP’s story has no gay elements and would be quite touching and uplifting if only he had been able to get out of it: Wow, I’m the kind of guy who knows what is the right thing to do and I will do it even if dickheads try to beat on me for it. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2008, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/15 "2008-12-29T23:34:16Z")
Thanks for the answers, guys. As I say, I’m getting older now and a lot of my memories need to be straightened out. ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2008, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/16 "2008-12-29T23:45:57Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > I’m old, I need reassurance. Consider yourself reassured. If it had been your mother, you wouldn’t have had an Oedipus complex either. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/17 "2008-12-30T00:03:37Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > So by these kids’ logic, any male nurse in a hospital or nursing home who has ever assisted a helpless man is queer too, then? :rolleyes: Then I guess I’m married to a gay man. My husband touches other men’s genitals (with a gloved hand, per regulations) almost every day. Oh the horror. (Should I be jealous that he also handles old-lady cooch?) * * * You’re fine, **LouisB,** and good on ya. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/18 "2008-12-30T00:10:21Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > You could have been Liberace and Rock Hudson and it wouldn’t have been a homosexual act. If you were Liberace and he was Rock Hudson, and you were in San Francisco listening to Liza Minnelli, it still wouldn’t have been a homosexual act. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/19 "2008-12-30T00:13:26Z")
Shoot call me crazy but I’d say under the circumstances even if you cleaned the poor guy’s pipes I’d still have to say you’re not being gay. Just a _really_ good friend. I can’t imagine being 14 and NOT being able to rub one off. Also, good on you for being such a good friend. I’m embarrassed to say that I don’t think I would have had that kind of maturity at that age. ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/20 "2008-12-30T00:16:51Z")
If it is, I guess I must march at the head of the next gay pride parade. As part of my Army job, I have observed men in the shower, watched several take a dump, and even, on one occasion, “aimed the cannon.” Not the best part of being a Soldier, but not the worst part either. SSG Schwartz [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126.md?page=2)