# Was this a homosexual act? (NSFW?) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 29, 2008, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126 "2008-12-29T22:57:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/21 "2008-12-30T00:21:26Z")
It was a _compassionate_ act. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/22 "2008-12-30T00:23:43Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > Shoot call me crazy but I’d say under the circumstances even if you cleaned the poor guy’s pipes I’d still have to say you’re not being gay. Just a _really_ good friend. > > I can’t imagine being 14 and NOT being able to rub one off. I was expecting to read that this is exactly what happened. I was a bit disappointed to get through the OP and find no sex at all. **LouisB** , don’t worry. Cleaning a friend and helping him use the restroom is not sexual at all. ---
**Author:** ![fifty-six](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@fifty-six](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fifty-six)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/23 "2008-12-30T00:30:00Z")
> [@Hockey\_Monkey](#): > > Did you jerk him off or give him a blowjob while you were there? No? I didn’t think so. Performing hygenic services for a helpless person isn’t homosexual. Jerking him off wouldn’t necessarily be homosexual either. My definition of being gay is the ability to intimately love another of the same sex. The physical acts themselves are not a deciding factor in being gay. Just a passing fancy, experimental, a phase or a kink. Sexual orientation is not determined by an act. ---
**Author:** ![discodancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@discodancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/discodancer)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/24 "2008-12-30T00:43:08Z")
I’m wondering if the poster is now going to write “Okay, but let’s take the same scenario but this time my friend wasn’t in a car accident and didn’t have broken arms but just a sinus infection…” ---
**Author:** ![alexandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@alexandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alexandra)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/25 "2008-12-30T01:02:15Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > Also, good on you for being such a good friend. I’m embarrassed to say that I don’t think I would have had that kind of maturity at that age. Yup. ---
**Author:** ![sparky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@sparky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sparky_1)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/26 "2008-12-30T01:23:48Z")
Sir, I’d hope you’re in my army when I go to war and get my arms blown off! I mean, you helped a friend out when the friend couldn’t. You helped that person to go to the bathroom (last I checked, a mostly semi-uncontrollable act). I honestly wish someone like you were my friend and willing to help me at the risk of “performing fist fights” because of our friendship. Damn, anyone who’d think you other than a stand-up guy and great friend is just lost in some blanketed, perverse universe. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/27 "2008-12-30T01:31:26Z")
> [@fifty-six](#): > > Jerking him off wouldn’t necessarily be homosexual either. Yes it would. It wouldn’t necessarily mean the person was gay, but it’s still a sexual _act_. My answer to the OP is that there was nothing sexual about it, therefore there was nothing _homo_sexual about it. You were a standup friend, by the way. I admit that I probably wouldn’t have been willing to do that. ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/28 "2008-12-30T01:36:54Z")
If it makes you feel any better, anyone who performs personal care duties for others has at some time had to contend with other people who feel they must add a sexual context to the act(s). Having to put up with that attitude at the age and maturity level you describe must have been daunting. I’m female and an OBGYN nurse, and have had the occasional clod who has made ridiculous and suggestive remarks to me over the years about my work. And, a nursing message board that I frequent (or was that here) has had the occasinal troll who thinks male OBGYNs are hypersexual and/or perform sex acts on their patients during pap smear exams, etc. Some people are so very uncomfortable with the body parts ‘covered by a bathing suit’, that they can only relate to these areas in some kind of sexual context. Heck, I once had a female roommate who was unable to use tampoms to staunch her menstrual flow. She said she just ‘could not put her hands down there’. Yikes. I always wondered what life was like growing up for her. So, no, you did not perform a homosexual act. As described, you seem to be lacking the ‘sexual’ part of homosexual. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/29 "2008-12-30T01:53:47Z")
> [@discodancer](#): > > I’m wondering if the poster is now going to write “Okay, but let’s take the same scenario but this time my friend wasn’t in a car accident and didn’t have broken arms but just a sinus infection…” Write it yourself if that’s how you want it. ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/30 "2008-12-30T02:13:34Z")
> [@Ca3799](#): > > Heck, I once had a female roommate who was unable to use tampoms to staunch her menstrual flow. She said she just ‘could not put her hands down there’. Yikes. I always wondered what life was like growing up for her. Stinky? Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Influential\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Influential\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Influential_Panda)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/31 "2008-12-30T02:15:52Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Did you get an erection while you preformed these services for him? Whoah, a broner does not one gay make. Accidents happen, young padawan. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/32 "2008-12-30T02:17:48Z")
> [@Influential\_Panda](#): > > Whoah, a broner does not one gay make. Accidents happen, young padawan. A broner? Is that when a straight guy gets an erection around a male friend? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/33 "2008-12-30T02:24:43Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > Shoot call me crazy but I’d say under the circumstances even if you cleaned the poor guy’s pipes I’d still have to say you’re not being gay. Just a _really_ good friend. > > \*\*I can’t imagine being 14 and NOT being able to rub one off. > \*\* > Also, good on you for being such a good friend. I’m embarrassed to say that I don’t think I would have had that kind of maturity at that age. You have to remember that this took place in the 1953-1954 era; the guy had a hell of a lot more injuries that just two broken arms; he had internal damage. One lung was partially collapsed and more than a few of his ribs were broken. Medical science wasn’t as advanced as it is today and it was nip and tuck that he would even live. He was usually in a hell of a lot of pain and I honestly believe he simply hurt too much to entertain that many sexual ideas. I don’t know what pain meds he was on but I doubt they were as effective as those available today. I appreciate the inputs and the compliments but I have to say that those who doubt they could do it probably could and would if a situation demanded it. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/34 "2008-12-30T02:36:20Z")
Dern it, I forgot to add something—he and I attended the same university; he had been diagnosed with diabetes during the summer before our freshman year. He had to inject himself with insulin on a regular basis and his mother gave me an intensive course in how to tend him if he passed out. During our first month in our dormitory, he had a very emotional reaction to injecting himself; he was so fed up with it that he asked me if I would do it. He watched as I filled the syringe and shot a little out of it; I held the syringe in my right hand and his arm in my left. And I was completely unable to shove that needle into him. I just could not do it. We ended up by locating another diabetic guy and he did what I couldn’t. Within a week or so my friend had begun injecting himself again; he teased me for years about being able to wipe his butt but not having the guts to give him an injection. I’ve often wondered what the hell came over me at that time. ---
**Author:** ![Influential\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Influential\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Influential_Panda)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/35 "2008-12-30T02:37:18Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > I’ve often wondered what the hell came over me at that time. That, however, does make you gay. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/36 "2008-12-30T03:43:57Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > A broner? Is that when a straight guy gets an erection around a male friend? 😃 Only if the friend is black. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/37 "2008-12-30T03:55:28Z")
I agree it wasn’t sexual, but I do have to ask (just out of curiosity) how you came to be your friend’s caregiver. Where were his parents? Was it only an occasional thing? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/38 "2008-12-30T05:45:22Z")
> [@](#): > > I agree it wasn’t sexual, but I do have to ask (just out of curiosity) how you came to be your friend’s caregiver. Where were his parents? Was it only an occasional thing? Yeah, if you were making special trips across town just to help him out, we’re getting back into a grey area. ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/39 "2008-12-30T06:49:39Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Yeah, if you were making special trips across town just to help him out, we’re getting back into a grey area. How so? I would gladly trek across town to do for a close friend if he/she had no other feasible options. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2008, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126/40 "2008-12-30T06:52:38Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Yeah, if you were making special trips across town just to help him out, we’re getting back into a grey area. I don’t think this makes it a “grey area” if there were special trips, but I’m also curious about where the parents were. Either way, you sound like a stand up guy and a very good friend, **LouisB**. And not gay, not that there’s anything wrong with that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/was-this-a-homosexual-act-nsfw/479126.md?page=3)