# "Wassup" with black men? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 6, 2003, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448 "2003-08-06T22:50:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Angel\_Heart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Angel\_Heart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_Heart)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/81 "2003-08-08T17:41:15Z")
**AIHunter3** , Brent Staples wrote an essay on this topic and he even admits to humming arias under his breath to keep old white ladies at ease. ---
**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/82 "2003-08-08T18:02:47Z")
Oh dear. I’m so confused! Black men are generally _very_ polite to me. They may nod their heads, smile, tip their hats, shake my hand, or say “Hello” or “Hi,” and some have even kissed my hand and told me they think I’m beautiful, but I don’t recall them ever saying “Wassup” or the equivalent. Does that make me a scared old white lady, a rude black woman, some kind of deviant white male not worthy of being addressed with “Wassup,” or something else entirely. Is all this politeness fake? A setup to rob me, or what? Don’t get me wrong. I’m perfectly willing to say “Wassup” if that is what will keep the brothas happy. Y’all have got to help me out here. I’m really worried about this. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/83 "2003-08-08T18:15:12Z")
Biggirl said, “It warms the cockles of my heart, it does.” Dear, you’re not supposed to have “cockles” and if you do, they’re not supposed to be in your heart. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/84 "2003-08-08T18:16:49Z")
I think they’re right below the cock, right? (Did I just type that out loud???) ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/85 "2003-08-08T18:47:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AHunter3 \* > **So they’d adopted various mannerisms that broadcast a signal of “friendly” so that fewer people would do things like cross the street to the other side or squinch up small and go into flight-or-flight adrenalin-mode.** Years ago I saw a black comedian (can’t remember who it was) who said that when he was playing in smaller towns with small African-American populations he noticed that white people seemed nervous around him. He said he solved this problem by skipping merrily and singing jolly tunes…“Oh I’m a niiiiice one…I’m not going to muuuug you…” ---
**Author:** ![MrMyth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e19b73/32.png) [@MrMyth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrMyth)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/86 "2003-08-08T19:21:30Z")
I’m too goddam anti-social to put old white women at ease by whistling arias and Bethoven, so for a while there I used to get a scared look on my face at _them_ and then cross the street. It caused a lot of priceless expressions, I tell you what. Nowadays I just jingle my keys really loudly when I’m fairly close to the person. Sad, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/87 "2003-08-08T21:06:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kalhoun \* > \*\*Biggirl said, “It warms the cockles of my heart, it does.” > > Dear, you’re not supposed to have “cockles” and if you do, they’re not supposed to be in your heart. 😃 \*\* That’s just the way I talk so that the white people on this messgeboard won’t be afraid of me. P.S. I call the things on my chest “chesticles”. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/88 "2003-08-08T21:12:38Z")
Mmmm… chestnuts… ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/89 "2003-08-08T21:31:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lamia \* > \*\*Dear Black Men of the SDMB, > > Today while out for my afternoon constitutional, I encountered two youths of the African-American persuasion. As I passed by I could not help but overhear one of them say to the other, “Damn, I’d do that shit.” \*\* Since no one else volunteered. You were being complimented albeit not directly. It’s roughly equivalent to “Boy I’d sure like to go to bed with her”. But probably said loud enough to be heard in case you were interested. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/90 "2003-08-08T21:41:06Z")
That is so funny. Like you’re gonna be all, “hell yeah mutha fucka! I do you too! Sheeet, there’s a hotel room 'round the corna, let’s go!” I remember one time I was walking somewhere and this black guy said to his friend “now _that’s_ a sexy woman!” I gave him a big smile and said “Thanks! I know” Much more effective, IMHO. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/91 "2003-08-08T22:45:05Z")
WWHKD? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/92 "2003-08-08T23:19:19Z")
Helen Keller? Hong Kong? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/93 "2003-08-08T23:22:17Z")
Hollywood Kink? Honky Kid? ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/94 "2003-08-08T23:28:30Z")
Herbert Kornfield ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/95 "2003-08-08T23:31:29Z")
Harvey Keitel? Henry Kissinger? ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/96 "2003-08-08T23:39:14Z")
My money’s on honkey kid ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2003, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/97 "2003-08-09T00:21:41Z")
> [@](#): > > _Herbert Kornfield_ ::Tha Nite Rida screeches to a halt:: Bitch, accountin’ ain’t 'bout black and _white_, it be ‘bout black and _red_. Foo, you be sniffin’ Sharpie? You best get out before I cut you a permanent smile wit my Letta Opena of Death just like them paybo bitches. Midstate represent! ---
**Author:** ![Sqube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aca169/32.png) [@Sqube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sqube)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2003, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/98 "2003-08-09T03:03:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lamia \* > \*\*Dear Black Men of the SDMB, > > Today while out for my afternoon constitutional, I encountered two youths of the African-American persuasion. As I passed by I could not help but overhear one of them say to the other, “Damn, I’d do that shit.” > > I was not sure whether to thank them or not. Was this a compliment, or were they perhaps threatening my life? Please advise. > > I must add that I was most disappointed that neither one of them said “Wassup” to me. This was the sort of friendly greeting this thread has led me to believe I might expect from young men of their race. > > Yours, > > -Lamia McPastywhite \*\* Dear Lamia McPastywhite, As a black man of the SDMB (as per your letter), I have written this brief note to let you know that" Damn, I’d do that shit" can be roughly translated as “My fellow man of the African-American persuasion! I would like to draw your attention to the attractive young lady of the Caucasian persuasion who caught my eye. As a direct result of her beauty, I feel a desire to engage in sexual intercourse with her”. I hope this helps to clear up any confusion you may have. Sqube aka Tyrone, Darnell, etc etc etc. ---
**Author:** ![Anahita](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9a28c/32.png) [@Anahita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anahita)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2003, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/99 "2003-08-09T08:24:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Giraffe \* > \*\*Whenever black men say friendly things to me, I always assume they’re happy because they just bought some malt liquor or fried chicken or something. Of course, if I say anything back, they’ll probably mug me, so I just stare straight ahead until they’re gone. Then I go home and eat some mayonnaise on Wonder bread to calm myself down. Now that’s good eating! \*\* You’re my new hero. ---
**Author:** ![LorieSmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a587f6/32.png) [@LorieSmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LorieSmurf)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2003, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/100 "2003-08-11T07:10:25Z")
Can I just say that this is about the funniest damn thread I’ve read on this board? I’m so glad that everyone (except for one person) has realized that it’s a lot of horsing around and no one has become offended. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448.md?page=6)