# "Wassup" with black men? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 6, 2003, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448 "2003-08-06T22:50:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/161 "2003-08-14T04:27:43Z")
I remember reading that the stereotype of watermelon and fried chicken came about because both are easy to make and don’t spoil easily, making it easy for people with little or no money to pack them for work and/or journeys. No cite. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/162 "2003-08-14T04:38:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aesiron \* > \*\*I remember reading that the stereotype of watermelon and fried chicken came about because both are easy to make and don’t spoil easily, making it easy for people with little or no money to pack them for work and/or journeys. > > No cite. \*\* Yeah, my wife mentioned that she thought that that may be the reason for the stereotype. I myself am a white guy who likes watermelon (except for the seeds) and loves chicken. Actually, I love just about all kinds of meat, except for liver :eek: There is **no way on earth** I could ever go vegetarian. If a doctor told me that I’d have to stop eating meat or die, well, it was really nice chatting with all of you. I’d also have to kill myself if I couldn’t ever drink chocolate milk again. Anyway, I’m starting to ramble, so I’ll shut up now 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/163 "2003-08-14T05:15:25Z")
Actually, this thread has made me remember I’ve got a copy of _The Promised Land - The Great Black Migration and How It Changed America_ by Nicholas Lemann. I’m about five or six pages into it. It seems ok, but is it a good read? Does this guy know his stuff? ---
**Author:** ![Tusculan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Tusculan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tusculan)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/164 "2003-08-14T08:07:47Z")
Actually, this thread reminds me of _Undercover Brother_. While I found it hilarious, in particular the crafty play with all those stereotypes, I didn’t understand why the General’s Fried Chicken supposedly would only target black people. Now I do. Good thread, this, for learning as well as for laugs! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Stage\_Manager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stage_manager/32/7267_2.png) [@Stage\_Manager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stage_Manager)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/165 "2003-08-14T08:09:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JuanitaTech \* > \*\*Me, too, viv. I don’t want to come off as having Angry Black Woman Syndome. Much like the fat person that wants to enjoy the occasional doughnut without getting all kinds of dirty looks, I want to be pissed off every once in a fucking while. > > One day, I swear, I’m going to grow up, stop giving a fuck about what people think and walk around with a scowl on my face, a fried chicken wing in one hand and a slice of watermelon in the other. > > Did I mention I won’t eat fried chicken in public? How sad is that? \*\* Wait – are you black? You don’t _sound_ black… ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/166 "2003-08-14T13:13:17Z")
To clear up that confusion, I suggest that we change the SDMB tags to indicate race and gender…'cause you know, it matters so much. I need to know which posters I need to cross over to a different forum when they show up so they won’t mug me. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/167 "2003-08-14T13:59:36Z")
Oooohhhh I know _all_ about that “perpetuating stereotypes” bullshit. What really hurts is when other people in your group accuse you of it. And it could be anything from being promiscuous to being femme to having painted fuckin’ toenails, for gods’ sakes. It’s _very_ tiresome. waiting for someone to go, But that’s different and you should be ashamed of yourself for perpetuating stereotypes bzz bzz bzz bzz bzz!! ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/168 "2003-08-14T14:13:09Z")
Hey, matt. There’s a bee in your post. See it? No, not there. Yeah, right there…at the end. ---
**Author:** ![TaxGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@TaxGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TaxGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/169 "2003-08-14T14:57:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Biggirl \* > \*\*But **TaxGuy** there has been no magic wand racism eraser. There are many people who make racists assumptions, who don’t realize that these are even assumptions and are so sure what they presume to be true _is_ true that they have no compunction whatsoever of saying it out loud and in your face. > > The thing is, little old white ladies really, really do clutch their bags and cross the street when they see me coming. When that happens to you all the time, you find ways to deal with it. Me, I ignore them and would eat fried chicken every stinking day at Grand Central if I wasn’t watching what I eat. > > It’s sad. I scare little old ladies and little old ladies make me feel unearned shame. It’s a no-win situation. \*\* Wow, did I predict this post or what? (See my first post in this thread, toward the end.) **Biggirl** , you have missed my point (or my point missed you, one of the two). And no one “makes you” feel anything, you fully sentient free-will-having being, you. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/170 "2003-08-14T15:14:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TaxGuy \* > \*\*Wow, did I predict this post or what? (See my first post in this thread, toward the end.) > > **Biggirl** , you have missed my point (or my point missed you, one of the two). And no one “makes you” feel anything, you fully sentient free-will-having being, you. \*\* Now that’s ridiculous. Of course what other people do effects my feelings. In what sterile, cold world do you live in that other people don’t have any effect on what you feel? Oh wait— your a TAX guy. Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![TaxGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@TaxGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TaxGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/171 "2003-08-14T15:19:59Z")
You see an old lady cross the street and clutch her purse. You feel shame. If you wanted to, you could also feel like this: “Well, too bad that that old lady feels that just because I’m black I’m going to mug her. I feel sorry for her that she chooses to go through life with that attitude. Poor thing.” ---
**Author:** ![TaxGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@TaxGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TaxGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/172 "2003-08-14T15:24:11Z")
Also, I’d like you to appreciate the difference between other people having an effect on how you feel v. other people making you feel something. Just because I don’t think other people make you feel something doesn’t mean that I don’t think other people should/do/will affect how you feel. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/173 "2003-08-14T15:31:14Z")
I agree with **Taxguy** on the “people can’t make you feel things” opinion. You are soley responsible for how you feel. People only have as much control over your feelings and emotions as you let them have. Say I crossed the street when a black guy was walking towards me. The guy doesn’t _know_ why I crossed the street. I could’ve crossed the street for a plethora of reasons. If he feels shame because I did that, that’s on him. He doesn’t know why I did it and I am under no obligation to feel bad for how he feels. His feelings are his responsibility, not mine. It may sound callous, but it’s the harsh truth. Your hangups are just that- _your_ hangups, just as my hangups are mine. I’m not responsible for yours and you’re not responsible for mine. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/174 "2003-08-14T15:34:23Z")
And before anyone jumps in with the “you don’t know what it’s like!” autoresponse, I’ll disclose that I have had similar experiences. I’ve been watched very closely in stores when I’m not dressed particularly well or when my hair has been dyed an off color. I didn’t feel anger towards the cashier or shame for myself. I recognized that the cashiers had their own personal hangups and since I had no intentions of stealing anything, I didn’t have anything to worry about. All they’re doing is wasting their time watching me while the well dressed preppy girl in the corner was robbing them blind. _shrug_ ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/175 "2003-08-14T16:15:48Z")
lezlers, Thank you for recognizing how you dress presents an image people respond to. That is SO lost on so many of my friends who choose an alternative style and then wonder why people treat them as intimidating. However, there is a difference between wearing a leather trenchcoat and dying your hair black and being treated poorly, and being treated poorly because you are black. You know that you can go home, put a rinse through your hair, change into a nice pair of Dockers and a cute little silk camp shirt, throw in a conservative pair of gold earings and get treated well. That isn’t an option open to minorities - no matter how Biggirl dresses, she will always be black. If she dresses really well and wears really nice jewelry, they will wonder if her husband sells drugs or maybe more innocently is a record producer or NBA player. And they will continue to watch her closely in the stores, because you never know - she probably wasn’t raised well. 'Cause all black people, in addition to liking watermelon, are predisposed to shoplifting as well. It takes a hell of a lot of strength to get through that day after day and not let how other people treat you get to you. ---
**Author:** ![Tusculan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Tusculan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tusculan)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/176 "2003-08-14T16:19:33Z")
Sorry **lezlers** and **TaxGuy** , but I second **Biggirl** on this one. I _do_ agree with you that you _can_ steel yourself not to be influenced by others’ feelings, but I’m still with **Biggirl** that I prefer not to be that kind of person who is insensitive to the feelings of other people, even if that means being vulnerable to negative feelings as well. Besides, I know that those selfsame feelings of others are not wholly unconnected to actions by others that may actually harm me. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/177 "2003-08-14T16:32:51Z")
Perhaps my whole second paragraph is only visible to a select few. Let’s see what it says. . . > [@](#): > > The thing is, little old white ladies really, really do clutch their bags and cross the street when they see me coming. When that happens to you all the time, you find ways to deal with it. Meaning there are different ways of handling the negative attention blacks receive _on a daily basis_. The way I handle it **lez** looks to me to be very similar to the way you handled being followed while looking-- admittedly, not all together savory. > [@](#): > > Me, I ignore them and would eat fried chicken every stinking day at Grand Central if I wasn’t watching what I eat. It seems that **TaxGuy** would have blacks follow that other stereotype-- lets call it Sydney Poitier Style-- of “being above it all” that grows out of the outdated “Noble Savage” tradition. Because other people can’t “make you feel things” then it stands to reason that other people cannot give you joy or make you laugh or make you sad. **TaxGuy** and **lezlers** are two perfectly self-contained individuals who never, ever had their feelings hurt because only they can hurt their own feelings. Like I said-- ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/178 "2003-08-14T16:43:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by WhereAmI \* > **…hope I don’t get spotted.** Tru dat. You get spotted, means homey din’t finish the job. Best jus’ git on back to him so’s he c’n get his toaster on.😉 😉 > [@](#): > > “'Cause all black people, in addition to liking watermelon, are predisposed to shoplifting as well.” “And isn’t it shameful how she’s wearing that expensive stuff, when she should be using her welfare checks to feed her 12 children from 13 different daddies.” I’ve encountered these opinions before. They are what make me ashamed to be a white person. Heh. I’m further ashamed to admit that, echoing what **Dangerosa** pointed out, some of the most lasting impressions of what a black person deals with living in America came from that movie where the white kid makes himself look black in order to get a college scholarship. Most of the movie wasn’t great, but the parts with James Earl Jones are what I remember. 'specially at the end, after the kid’s sham has been exposed. J.E.J. observes that he has learned a little about what it means to be black. But the kid disagrees, admitting that he always had the option of NOT being black, if living that way got too difficult. As a sheltered white kid living in the rural south, attending a public grade school with _no_ minorities at all, it opened my eyes a little bit. ---
**Author:** ![TaxGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@TaxGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TaxGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/179 "2003-08-14T17:32:13Z")
OK, **Biggirl** , we disagree on something. No biggie. I don’t get the Sydney Poitier/Noble Savage reference. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448/180 "2003-08-14T17:49:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Biggirl \* > \*\*Because other people can’t “make you feel things” then it stands to reason that other people cannot give you joy or make you laugh or make you sad. **TaxGuy** and **lezlers** are two perfectly self-contained individuals who never, ever had their feelings hurt because only they can hurt their own feelings. > > Like I said-- ridiculous. \*\* You’re blurring a line where there is a definate distinction. Of course some people can make you feel things. Happy, love, silly, content, angry, remorseful, whatever. But these are (or should be) people that you choose and allow yourself to get close to. That’s when people can effect you. But a random Joe on the street? Fuck’em. You will likely never see them again or ever speak to them, why allow them to have any say in your mood? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wassup-with-black-men/193448.md?page=10)