# Watch out for speeding toilets. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 30, 2001, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watch-out-for-speeding-toilets/70722 "2001-06-30T13:11:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2001, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watch-out-for-speeding-toilets/70722/1 "2001-06-30T13:11:36Z")
There I was, in a bus that was about to pull out of the stop, on the way home, right? It’s Friday afternoon, and this is Auckland, NZ, where the weird don’t usually happen. Up Queen Street is one heck of a lot o’ car horns blaring. I’m thinking – is this place starting t’ sound like New York, or what? Reason for car horns? A couple of vans from a local radio station I don’t bother listening to. Okay, thinks I. They’re doin’ a promo. And then, came the toilets. Motorised toilets, driving after the vans, one driven by a woman, the other by a man. Naked. Middle-aged. Flabby. Couldn’t see the guy in close up (Thank the Stars!) but the woman had expertly-applied stickers or paint or somethin’ covering the vital bits. :eek: The procession just sailed on through the busiest intersection in the biggest city in this l’il ol’ country o’ mine, and went on down to the waterfront. I heard someone say nearby, "Aren’t they _cold_? (It’s mid-winter here) A couple of Asian tourists sat across the bus aisle from me had eyes as big as saucers. They kept saying, in shocked voice, “What was that?” I said, “That was a Monty Python moment if ever I saw one.” And then I had to explain about Monty Python. _sigh_ Excuse me while I go laugh some more. ---
**Author:** ![Ell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47774/32.png) [@Ell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ell)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2001, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watch-out-for-speeding-toilets/70722/2 "2001-06-30T13:18:54Z")
You Kiwis ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2001, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watch-out-for-speeding-toilets/70722/3 "2001-06-30T13:28:28Z")
> [@](#): > > _Orig. by Ell_ > You Kiwis. They coulda been Aussies. [sub]Ice Wolf now patiently waits for the explosion.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Ell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47774/32.png) [@Ell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ell)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2001, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watch-out-for-speeding-toilets/70722/4 "2001-06-30T14:00:37Z")
:kaboom: ---
**Author:** ![beckwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@beckwall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beckwall)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2001, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watch-out-for-speeding-toilets/70722/5 "2001-06-30T16:41:36Z")
I swore that I would move to New Zealand if George W. was elected. This story just reaffirms my decision. Now all I need is a job (RN, shouldn’t be a problem) and a place to live, preferrably with a stationary toilet. I was quite comfortable in the transit lounge at the airport there in Auckland, maybe I can just stay there for awhile… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2001, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watch-out-for-speeding-toilets/70722/6 "2001-06-30T19:58:17Z")
I must. **I must!** \*Faster than a speeding toilet! More powerful than a can of liquid drain cleaner! Able to leap tall shower stalls in a single bound! It’s… **Plumberman!** **Plumberman!** Strange visitor from the ladies’ outhouse, gifted with plungers & abilities far beyond those of ordinary mortal men. IT’S— **PLUMBERMAN!!!** \* 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2001, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watch-out-for-speeding-toilets/70722/7 "2001-06-30T20:05:20Z")
I’ve heard of bed races and one of the small towns that is connected to our city has coffin races every year but never have I heard of speeding toilets with neked people on them. God that’s hilarious. I want one! ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2001, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watch-out-for-speeding-toilets/70722/8 "2001-06-30T20:07:58Z")
Oh, I don’t want the neked person on it, just the speeding toilet. \< having an After Dark screen saver flashback all of the sudden \> ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2001, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watch-out-for-speeding-toilets/70722/9 "2001-06-30T21:51:27Z")
Um. I must have missed something, like, the explanation? For? Naked toilet drivers in downtown Auckland? [_goes back to read OP again, head starting to hurt from having to read it upside-down_] ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2001, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watch-out-for-speeding-toilets/70722/10 "2001-07-01T02:24:09Z")
You’re readin’ the OP upside-down, **DDG**? Didn’t think it was the th’ season for head-stands just yet. 🙂 Sorry if I was a little vague. What I think happened was the radio station was promoting themselves. Maybe did some kind of competition (_"… and the ninth caller gets to make a complete wally of themselves driving motorised sanitary plumbing down the main drag. Yay!"_). There were radio-slogan-bedecked vehicles bringing up the rear (‘scuse th’ pun), also tooting like mad things. Methinks this idea just HAD to come from Aussie. 😉 There ya go, **DDG**. You can continue reading stuff the right way up now.