# Watchmen: The Movie (reviews and spoilers)

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [February 19, 2009, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579 "2009-02-19T18:47:14Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\
**Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579/1 "2009-02-19T18:47:14Z")

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Industry screenings are beginning around town.

In a word thus far:

[Uh](http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/2009/02/that_whooshing.php)-[Oh](http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/2009/02/staggering_fail.php). ☹ I still have my fingers crossed (though I perhaps should’ve suspected since I thought _300_ was a massive p.o.s.), but I’m now glad that I probably won’t have to pay to see it…

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**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\
**Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579/2 "2009-02-19T19:06:39Z")

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Doesn’t look great. Mind you, the notion that they all have some sort of super-powers is a good change to me. Their lack of said powers in the novel took me right out of the story.

Still, this is just one review. I’m still planning on seeing it.

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**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\
**Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579/3 "2009-02-19T19:11:27Z")

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> [@Lochdale](#):
>
> Still, this is just one review.

Psst. Two Reviews, separated by the hyphen

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**Author:** ![tim314](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim314/32/3468_2.png) [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)\
**Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579/4 "2009-02-19T19:14:25Z")

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> [@Lochdale](#):
>
> Their lack of said powers in the novel took me right out of the story.

Do you mean because they’re too effective given their lack of superpowers?

To me, the “guy who’s astonishingly effective at fighting crime (or whatever) despite having no powers” (e.g., Batman) is as much a standard conceit of the superhero genre as the fact that characters _have_ superpowers.

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**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\
**Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579/5 "2009-02-19T19:15:27Z")

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Second review is even worse. Sheeesh.

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**Author:** ![The\_Superhero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Superhero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Superhero)\
**Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579/6 "2009-02-19T19:21:59Z")

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I can’t really get much from that first review you linked, because the reviewer keeps using the word “surreal,” and to borrow a line, I do not think it means what he thinks it means. Describing himself as being “bored” by the “jagged and stiff storytelling” of the original comic doesn’t give me a lot of reason to put a lot of weight in this guy’s opinion, either.

I agree with something from the second review, though: I expect reasonable opening weekend numbers. It’ll probably win the weekend, as there’s not a lot of competition out there. But after that, I think it’ll sink like a stone and be remembered in the end as a minor flop. I just don’t think the appeal is there beyond the core audience.

For years, I’ve been in the “Why does there need to be a ‘Watchmen’ movie in the first place?” camp - but I have to admit that my curiosity is piqued. I’ll probably go see a matinee, whatever the reviews are saying.

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**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\
**Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579/7 "2009-02-19T20:08:31Z")

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> [@tim314](#):
>
> Do you mean because they’re too effective given their lack of superpowers?
> 
> To me, the “guy who’s astonishingly effective at fighting crime (or whatever) despite having no powers” (e.g., Batman) is as much a standard conceit of the superhero genre as the fact that characters _have_ superpowers.

Absolutely. Now this is just my issue and YMMV. I have no problem with the great detective notion or event the master planner but, for example, the second Silk Spectre joins the team as a 16 year old girl. I’m sorry but that takes me out of the book entirely. A 16 year old female couldn’t do much of anything to stop a crime. I thought it was realistic when they had Dollar Bill killed due to his cape but, in reality, none of them would have lasted more than one fight. Heck, George St. Piere who is a real life bad ass couldn’t do a quarter of the stuff that they did.

Even Roarshack shouldn’t have survived in prison or when he was in that bar (gun shot to his back). Just something that bugged me about the book.

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**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\
**Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579/8 "2009-02-20T00:38:27Z")

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> [@Lochdale](#):
>
> Mind you, the notion that they all have some sort of super-powers is a good change to me.

Really? I thought it was precisely the opposition between their lack of powers and Dr. Manhattan’s near omnipotence that established the contrast between traditional superhero universe’s and Watchmen’s reality, and have always felt it pretty central to the book.

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**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\
**Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579/9 "2009-02-20T00:46:22Z")

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> [@Lochdale](#):
>
> Absolutely. Now this is just my issue and YMMV. I have no problem with the great detective notion or event the master planner but, for example, the second Silk Spectre joins the team as a 16 year old girl. I’m sorry but that takes me out of the book entirely. A 16 year old female couldn’t do much of anything to stop a crime.

Probably right, but only probably, I’d say. Kids who are trained from a very young age on nothing but one single kind of activity can end up being pretty freakishly good at that activity.

-FrL-

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**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\
**Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579/10 "2009-02-20T00:47:32Z")

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> [@Lochdale](#):
>
> Mind you, the notion that they all have some sort of super-powers is a good change to me.

Now wait, is this confirmed from any other source than that review? Because I’m really surprised by this. I thought it was a central point to the book that these people are (with one exception) just normal\* human beings.

-FrL-

\*except pyschologically…

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**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\
**Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579/11 "2009-02-20T00:55:45Z")

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> [@Frylock](#):
>
> Now wait, is this confirmed from any other source than that review? Because I’m really surprised by this. I thought it was a central point to the book that these people are (with one exception) just normal\* human beings.
> 
> -FrL-
> 
> \*except pyschologically…

Ah, I see now that I’ve read the review that they have ninja-style superpowers, able to jump really really high and things like that.

Not really accurate to the book I think, but not as egregious as I feared.

I noticed a comment that there is a blackout on reviews until March 6th. Doesn’t that usually mean the studio knows it’s not a good movie?

-FrL-

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**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\
**Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579/12 "2009-02-20T01:12:40Z")

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I read the comic a long time ago. It made no appreciable impact on me, probably because I didn’t understand or care about the politics, and because I think superhero comics are lame.

I therefore have no interest in this movie, but am curious to see if the so-called “unfilmable” story has been pulled off.

Wil Wheaton seems to [think so](http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbackup/2009/02/spoiler-alert-watchmen-is-fucking-awesome.html), if his opinion matters any.

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**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\
**Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579/13 "2009-02-20T01:57:58Z")

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> [@Frylock](#):
>
> Ah, I see now that I’ve read the review that they have ninja-style superpowers, able to jump really really high and things like that.
> 
> Not really accurate to the book I think, but not as egregious as I feared.
> 
> I noticed a comment that there is a blackout on reviews until March 6th. Doesn’t that usually mean the studio knows it’s not a good movie?
> 
> -FrL-

I’d guess it’s not powers so much as it’s comic-book/stylized theatrical fighting. You know, visual shorthand for them being badass fighters.

I’ll be flying to Denver to see it. Well, I’ll be flying to Denver to visit Median Offspring, and we’ll all go see it. (I took the day off for the release . . . he was hinting that I should come visit. . . I took another day . . . )

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**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\
**Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579/14 "2009-02-20T02:46:36Z")

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Didn’t Ozymandias catch a bullet with his bare hands? That dude had some sort of superpowers.

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**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\
**Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579/15 "2009-02-20T03:05:26Z")

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> [@Odesio](#):
>
> Didn’t Ozymandias catch a bullet with his bare hands? That dude had some sort of superpowers.

I think this is intended to be ambiguous and obscure.

Ozymandias is the _fake_ hero, it’s all marketing, with no substance. (Well, maybe not.)

The Comedian is the amoral, corrupt hero - he’s pure, mercany cynicism. (Well, maybe not.)

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**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\
**Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579/16 "2009-02-20T04:10:56Z")

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An unfilmable book is made into a movie by a hack director and it’s bad? Huh.

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**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\
**Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579/17 "2009-02-20T11:48:17Z")

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> [@Odesio](#):
>
> Didn’t Ozymandias catch a bullet with his bare hands? That dude had some sort of superpowers.

It’s intended as “merely” exceptional martial arts skill, like the Killing Palm or walking on sand without footprints - not possible in the real world, but not really a “superpower” (IMO).

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**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\
**Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579/18 "2009-02-20T14:33:20Z")

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> [@Larry\_Mudd](#):
>
> I think this is intended to be ambiguous and obscure.
> 
> Ozymandias is the _fake_ hero, it’s all marketing, with no substance. (Well, maybe not.)
> 
> The Comedian is the amoral, corrupt hero - he’s pure, mercany cynicism. (Well, maybe not.)

Wait what? It’s clearly established in the comics that Ozymandias is by far the most powerful of the heroes (discounting Doc Manhattan). Even Rorschach writes in his journal “Veidt. Cannot imagine a more dangerous opponent”. And he calmly walks around, monologing while holding off both Rorshach and Nite Owl. Sure, there’s marketing, but there’s nothing fake about him.

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**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\
**Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579/19 "2009-02-20T15:59:25Z")

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> [@MrDibble](#):
>
> It’s intended as “merely” exceptional martial arts skill, like the Killing Palm or walking on sand without footprints - not possible in the real world, but not really a “superpower” (IMO).

Close enough in my book. He and Dr. Manhattan are the only two characters in the book who do things that human beings can’t really do.

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**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\
**Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/watchmen-the-movie-reviews-and-spoilers/486579/20 "2009-02-20T17:48:12Z")

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> [@Odesio](#):
>
> Close enough in my book. He and Dr. Manhattan are the only two characters in the book who do things that human beings can’t really do.

Yes, the whole meme that none of the other Watchmen have superpowers is bogus. Ozymandias has powers that no real person has.

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