# Way to keep a secret, guys! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 19, 2013, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277 "2013-11-19T18:28:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277/41 "2013-11-20T17:53:22Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I go to the window and slowly turn the pad until the most bars show up and, sure enough, right there is an unmarked white van sitting in the parking lot. The wifi antenna on your tablet is omnidirectional. Rotating is not going to “point” to the source of the signal. The bars shown are just an approximation anyway. Even if that were the case, though, all it would mean is that the signal was coming from that direction, and is more likely the house on the other side of the van anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277/42 "2013-11-20T17:55:43Z")
These days you’d probably freak out more people with “NSAMobileHub4819”. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277/43 "2013-11-20T18:05:33Z")
Mine is UVB-76. To my complete astonishment, one of my elderly neighbors told me at a block party that he figured that was me. The last guy I expected to get it. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277/44 "2013-11-20T18:32:24Z")
> [@JSexton](#): > > The wifi antenna on your tablet is omnidirectional. Rotating is not going to “point” to the source of the signal. The bars shown are just an approximation anyway. > > Even if that were the case, though, all it would mean is that the signal was coming from that direction, and is more likely the house on the other side of the van anyway. I cannot recall a single time in all the years I’ve posted here when I checked in on this message board and didn’t learn something new. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277/45 "2013-11-20T18:55:48Z")
Someone in my apartment complex has one called “MysteriousTickingNoise”. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277/46 "2013-11-20T19:03:54Z")
Someone near my doctor’s office tried this. But they can’t spell, so their wifi name is something like “FBISurvalanceVan”. They’re obviously not investigating crimes against spelling… ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277/47 "2013-11-20T19:17:59Z")
> [@Dervorin](#): > > … “Pretty fly for a Wi-fi” would be near the top of my list! I may have to borrow/steal this idea. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277/48 "2013-11-20T19:35:07Z")
Church of Cthulhu or Dr. Evil’s Lair would be cute. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277/49 "2013-11-20T19:38:19Z")
> [@](#): > > Hi Czarcasm, > > Actually, we have had a few of these reports and it’s just a joke…just people being funny and naming their wi-fi as an FBI surveillance van! I think this has been showing up in every state now! No worries, it’s not one of ours :-). > > Thank you, > > Portland FBI To which I responded > [@](#): > > Thank you for your prompt response. I was hoping that that was the case. Keep up the good work, and if y’all ever have cause to put a tail on me, let me know and I’ll buy you a brew or two. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277/50 "2013-11-20T19:43:52Z")
Wow. I’m glad that the FBI responded. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277/51 "2013-11-20T20:33:22Z")
There’s one in my neighborhood (I think it’s gone now) that was called “WeCanHearYouFucking”. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277/52 "2013-11-20T20:50:12Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > There’s one in my neighborhood (I think it’s gone now) that was called “WeCanHearYouFucking”. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![spinky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@spinky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spinky)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277/53 "2013-11-20T20:53:22Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > **The FBI Responds** They gave me the brush-off when I reported some impostors wearing “Female Body Inspector” t-shirts as well. Apparently there is a flagrant FBI uniform counterfeiting ring named Spencer’s Gifts that can be found in malls across the country. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277/54 "2013-11-20T21:12:57Z")
> [@Morbo](#): > > Mine is UVB-76. I like this one! Knew I’d heard of it before and a quick wikipedia check reminded me. > [@Czarcasm](#): > > The FBI Responds Well they _would_ say that wouldn’t they? Perhaps its a cunning double-bluff on the FBI’s part! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277/55 "2013-11-20T23:01:21Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Wow. I’m glad that the FBI responded. Well, it’s not like they’re not picking up their mail. And your mail. And my mail. And the neighbours’ mail. and… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277/56 "2013-11-21T01:24:39Z")
When you get alarmed is when they respond _before_ you email them! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277/57 "2013-11-21T02:07:57Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Wow. I’m glad that the FBI responded. And they seem to be a jolly bunch what with the exclamation points and the smiley faces. ---
**Author:** ![Marion\_Wormer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Marion\_Wormer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marion_Wormer)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277/58 "2013-11-21T02:20:32Z")
I live in a historic district. The houses are close together, but not _that_ close. Nevertheless I can pick up 15 or so wi-fi signals with perfect clarity. At least 11 of them are 5 character mixes of numbers and letters. What piece of gear has this, no idea. Why there are 11 installations in a small neighborhood with the same kind of variation. Makes no sense. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277/59 "2013-11-21T02:32:37Z")
There’s a network that pops up on my walk from work to the train and it’s called **bitchesbecrazay2**. The part that amuses me is that evidently **bitchesbecrazay** was already taken. ---
**Author:** ![Patch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Patch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patch)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277/60 "2013-11-21T02:38:53Z")
> [@Dervorin](#): > > My router has two wi-fi networks, one of which is called ZombieGoose, and the other is TopSecretFBIVan. Considering that I live in London, the likelihood of encountering an FBI van must be quite small. How about TVLicenseVan? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/way-to-keep-a-secret-guys/674277.md?page=4)